How Did We Get Here
by addicted2vamplit
Summary: Bella is 17 and having trouble remembering a past before the Cullens. Edward is 17 watching a 6 year old Bella growing up. Where do they go when past and present collide? NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

BTW **BOLD** are Bella's diary entries when she 17 _italics_ are thoughts and normal is present day with growing up Bella from EPOV

_**Note: This chapter has been edited.**_

* * *

**Sept 13, 2019**

**Happy Birthday to me! That's right. I turn seventeen today. Something you only get to do once… for us mortals that is. I woke up this morning to seven pairs of hazel eyes and a huge stack of waffles followed by a chorus of my least favourite song. The Birthday Song. Whoever wrote that one should be shot, though Edward assures me that person is long since dead (probably).**

Forks, Washington  
2007 EPOV

Edward was pacing. He hadn't been one to pace for about a century but was too anxious to stay still or do much of anything else. The Cullen's had been living in their large house outside Forks for a few years now and would soon have to leave the area to avoid suspicion.

Of course they would have to leave. Vampires do have a tendency to draw attention to themselves when they don't age for years on end. Especially when most young men their age should be hitting the tail end of puberty.

This brings us back to a pacing Edward, in the large white living room, with all large white furniture and a little brunette girl sleeping in an overstuffed white armchair.

_What am I doing? I can't believe I'm entertaining the idea of keeping a little human girl in a house full of vampires for even a moment let alone any amount of time. Why did I even bother bringing her here?_

The small sleeping girl let out a restful sigh. The scent of which hit Edward with an intensity just as strong as his first whiff. He had to fight to keep his hunger in check.

**There is a long list of things I hate about birthdays. **

**All the presents. **

**If a certain family I knew would keep within a budget I clearly set out for them then maybe I could be gracious about accepting them. But in case the new Aston Martin (in addition last years model I got for my Sweet 16) wasn't enough, they had to buy me the newest addition of every gaming system ever **_**and**_** refill my entire wardrobe because last year Gucci 'just won't do'. Granted the video games will be used by Jasper and Emmett the hours I'm sleeping and the wardrobe was more for Alice's benefit then mine. Still!! What am I ever gonna do with them?**

Having given up on trying to look anywhere but the angel in front of him, Edward gave in to staring at her sleeping form. All thoughts of why's and how's left his head while he concentrated on keeping her breathing and not being the cause of it stopping.

_This can't work_, he thought to himself_. _

His family went hunting two days ago and would be returning within the hour. He felt Alice's approach first because of the worried thoughts she was throwing at him in quick succession.

_What going on Edward, I'm confused._

Picture started to fill his mind. Perfect red drops of blood falling to the carpet so vivid he could almost taste the sickly sweet in his mouth. He cringed back from the images of the dead girl in his arms.

As fast as the images came they were gone; replaced with those of him and much older brunette. One who could easily be identified as the same girl in front him. He was staring passionately into the visions captivating eyes, inching closer while she tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. Their lips were mere centimetres away and getting ever clos….

The door bursting open jarred him from Alice's vision.

"Edward!" she breathed.

**2) Everyone around me thinking getting older is sooooo great. How would they know? None of them have done it this century.**

_What's the hell is going on? I see this girl in our futures and then all of a sudden I can't see you with us anymore and the girl is… the girl is dead. Tell me!! Now. _Alice was throwing her thought at him a mile a minute. He moved towards her and put his finger to his lips. A universal signal for be quiet. After nodding in the young girls' direction he motioned them to the dining room they never used. Alice paused for a moment, staring at the sleeping girls form.

"I'm serious Edward," she hissed when they were out of hearing range. They could have whispered and been certain not to disturb her but now wasn't the time for being subtle.

He held up his hands in surrender.

"Okay. From the beginning, but let's wait for everyone. Jasper is worried about you after you ran off on them." Sure enough everyone else followed through the still open door. Jasper only paused momentarily at the sight of a child in the living room before seeking out his wife. The others all lingered longer with their mouths open in surprise.

**The extravagant party with 'all your closest friends from school'.**

**Thrown even though most of the guest wouldn't recall my name if it hadn't flashed across the rented jumbotron, currently sitting in the living room. Don't get me wrong I love a good party. I just prefer hanging out with friends whose hearts aren't beating.**

Thanks to an over eager Alice the rest of the family were soon ushered into the dining room as well.

"Hey Bro, you know there's a kid on the couch?" Emmett asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Rosalie practically sneered, "The question is why?"

All eyes were on Edward. "Ummm…" He was shifting nervously. _How to explain_. "The thing is, she doesn't really have anywhere else to go?"

Esme let a small gasp and Carlisle put a soothing arm around her shoulders. She was always so empathetic.

Carlisle gave a nod of encouragement for Edward to continue.

"So I was in Seattle to get some of the accounts in order, Alice mentioned some windfall on the stock exchange." Six pairs of eyes were sneaking glances at each other. "A show was getting out of a small theatre not far from the hotel I was staying in and I heard a commotion in the alley."

Edward was looking at his feet while his brothers and sister thoughts were racing in different direction with possible scenarios. It wasn't a memory Edward wished to dredge up for them (no matter how recent) but once it was out in the open he could start working on forgetting it.

"I went to investigate the noise and heard a woman scream. When I rounded the corner I saw a man and women huddled together and another man holding a gun to her head demanding all their money." He closed his eyes wishing away his tale to no avail. "The guy looked up and saw me. He was just a scared kid with an itchy trigger finger and the gun went off. When he saw me coming closer he accidentally squeezed off another round into the man that had been sobbing over his dead wife."

He paused mid-story and sucked in an unnecessary breath. "There was so much blood. Too much blood. Just the smell of it was… there was nothing I could do. That was when I smelled something else. I had never smelled it's equal. It was more intoxicating then the blood that was darkening the pavement at my feet._ She_ was like a drug made specifically for me. Then there she was. I followed her small cries to behind the dumpster."

Edward opened his eyes and looked up expecting to see some horrified glares. He could barely forgive himself for allowing this to happen himself, how would his family find forgivness for him. Instead he found his fathers eyes staring back at him with something else. Edward was confused because all he could find there was pride, a father's pride.

"There was nothing else to do. The shooter was … ummm… incapacitated, and I couldn't stay at the scene. So…."

"You did the right thing," Alice said while she latched on at his waist with her small embrace. She looked up at him with glassy eyes threatening tears that would never fall.

**Something did come out of tonight though. I'm not sure what it was exactly but something. **

**I was asked to dance by some random at the party because I knew it would make Alice happy if she thought I was enjoying myself. After about 15 second on the dance floor and I regretted my decision because this guy had his hands all over me. But not 2 seconds after that I was saved by Emmett, of course (insert eye roll here for protective big brothers). **

**It was a fun happy dance song. The next one; however, was a slow song and Edward asked to cut in. "**_**May I have this dance**_**?" Who says that? Really. But as corny as it was I put my arms around his neck and wondered why we hadn't danced more often. We fit together like puzzle pieces and he was probably the only person who could lead me without serious injury. **

There wasn't any chance to discuss the day's event when Edward heard her stirring in the living room.

"You guys make yourself scarce for a bit, okay? I don't want to be scaring her off just yet."

"What exactly do you mean by that? What do you 'intend' to do?" asked Rosalie snidely.

He ignored her to go tend to the young angel in their midst. He reached the living room with not a moment to spare as her eyes fluttered open. She took in Edward's face sleepily and then shot up to a sitting position.

"Where is mommy and daddy?" she asked her voice wavering slightly.

"I'm not exactly sure." Edward replied. It wasn't a lie so much as glazing over the truth of the matter.

"Oh," she looked confused, "Who are you? Did they tell you when they'd be back?"

Edward wanted to know what she remembered but came up blank. He couldn't hear her thoughts as he could so easily read others. Instead of going into great detail about the facts, he decided to go with a change of subject. "I'm Edward," he said brushing a scared tear away from her cheek. "What's your name sweetheart?"

She deliberated his question for a moment and shrugged coming up with no apparent reason to guard that information. "Isabella"

"Isabella," he repeated.

**He makes a great best friend but when the song was over he kissed me, right close to the lips but it was still passable as on the cheek (Best friend. Best friend. Best friend) and whispered a happy birthday in my ear. (Insert sigh here) - Bella**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing! At all! End of discalimer!**

So it's a really long chapter but I didn't think it was right to split up the meeting of the Cullens so yea. I will also have you know I seriously considered leaving this a one shot because, and I'm not afraid to say this, I don't know If I can beat that first chapter. I didn't because 1) It is so much fun writing this story, really hard but fun. And 2) I loved your reveiws. LOVE.

**--**

**Sept 27, 2019**

**So far seventeen is interesting. The morning after my birthday I got to school and everyone was talking about the party. Alice was ecstatic. Said we pulled off the best party this town has seen in…. well, ever. She might be jumping out of her skin at the thought of making a few peoples day but who gets all the credit. The birthday girl of course. I hate being the center of attention.**

"That's a beautiful name." Edward tried to flash his most encouraging smile.

"Sometime my parent's call me Bella. I loooove it when they call me that." her voice filled with nothing but innocence. Edward could foresee the obvious devastating effect her parents demise was going to have on her. He knew he would have to figure out a way to tell her. Just not today.

"How do you feel about meeting my family… Bella?" He wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

She giggled furiously as if she had never been called that before. Pleased with himself for making her squeal, Edward righted himself and held out his hand. Bella shied away trying to hide herself in the chair's cushion. Edward had been caught of guard thinking this would be what she wanted.

He quickly wiped his hurt expression off his face. "Do you not want to meet them?"

She had to look almost straight up to meet his eyes and she fluttered her lashes making Edward melt.

"What if they don't like me?"

Edward let out a relieved sigh. "That, young lady, is impossible."

**Well at least one thing good came of that night, I think I might be in "like". Maybe. How childish of me to say that. In like. I can't get used to it. The concept seems almost foreign. I haven't liked a guy in forever. We have always moved so much I never allowed myself to get attached. But then He asked me out. On a date, a real date. With Emmett and Jasper around all the time most guys were to intimidated to say the least. The few who had managed to work up the courage, I had shot down. Of course I insisted on going dutch. I was not about to let some guy I just met buy me anything. I wonder who I should talk to about this. Alice definitely for fashion purposes. Maybe Edward could give me some insight into the male psyche.**

Edward took Bella up the staircase after deciding on introducing Carlisle first.

"Are you sure he'll like me?" she asked her voice quavering. As they neared the door she grabbed his hand and pulled close to his leg as if to shield herself from view.

He squeezed her shoulder to assure her.

_You can come in Edward_.

Reaching for the door handle he opened it a crack.

"Shouldn't you knock first?" She asked. "I was told that I always had to knock when I went in a room that wasn't mine."

"How right you are." Carlisle said opening the door fully, "Edward, you should be ashamed of yourself." His lips twitching into a smile as Edward did have permission, Bella just didn't know that yet.

**Maybe I shouldn't ask Edward. He's been in a bad mood all day. When we got home he went straight to his room and hasn't come out since. I owe him so much. Maybe I should make sure he's okay. He's been my shoulder so many times. I just know if I talk to him I could help. **

Carlisle cleared his throat loudly. "Another manner you seem to have forgotten," he continued light heartedly, "would be to introduce people if they are in the company of those they don't know, is that not right?" He got down on one knee and held one hand out to Bella who was still hiding behind Edward's leg.

"I'm Edward' father, You can call me Carlisle."

"Car. Ly. Le… Carr.lil…. Carlisle." She nodded over the syllables as she rolled them across her tongue. Realising she accomplished it she smiled and inched out from hiding. "I'm Bella." And she took his hand.

"Would you like to meet my wife? She will just adore you. You know I think that…" he stood up leading her into the room.

Edward was left in the hallway all but forgotten as the two headed further into the study to meet Esme. He started into the room alone and closed the door. When he turned around he found Esme crouched down in a hug with Bella holding her as if she were her own, a wistful expression on her face.

He thought it was amazing how much joy she brought them in so little time. Maybe this could work.

**Sometime I wonder how much I have in common with my peers. They are suppose to be peers/equals but I can't help but think that I might be a little off. Maybe when I meet up with Lucas we'll be at a loss for anything to say because I don't know what is normal. Maybe I should call it off. **

_Please. Please. Please. Say it's my turn already. I'm dying to meet her. _Alice was waiting in the living room practically jumping out of her skin.

Edward was a little hesitant not wanting Alice to overwhelm the poor girl. He knew if she like dress-up and shopping as most young girls do, then they could be the best of friends. Even if she wasn't most young girls Alice was quite the charmer. He knew Bella would come around.

Leading her back the way they came he explained there was someone who really wanted to meet her. "You don't have to worry at all."

"Worry about what?" Alice asked. Having got fed up waiting she had met them at the bottom of the stairs. "You don't still have that silly notion we won't like you, do you?" Bella nodded. "Well that's absurd." Alice shook her head and rolled her eyes dramatically clearing any feelings of unease Edward might have had as Bella visibly relaxed.

Alice backed away toward the living room and Bella followed without needing encouragement.

"You know Bella, I see us having lot's of fun in the future. It is unfortunate your not a huge fan of dress-up but I know you'll come around." Alice laugh came out like chimes. Bella's momentary unease having gone unnoticed.

Bella was somewhat confused. "How did you know I don't like dress-up…. And how did you know my name?"

"It's hard to keep a secret in our family for long, your arrival is fairly significant." _By the way Edward you should know. We looked into who she was. Isabella Marie Swan. News article says local chief of police Charlie Swan, gunned down in Seattle. Authorities still looking for missing daughter. Feared kidnapping though gunman arrested at scene claims not to be involved. _"My name is Alice, I'm Edward's sister." _You were right, she doesn't have anywhere to go. No known living relatives. _

"You ready to meet the rest of the family, they're all in the kitchen making you some breakfast." Alice reached out and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Just through there," She gesture to the back of the house. "They are all really anxious to meet you."

"I want to meet them too!" Bella smiled and allowed Alice to lead her one hand on either shoulder from behind. Once again Edward was left without a second glance until Bella turned before entering the next room. "Aren't you coming Edward?"

"Of course." he replied through a lopsided grin.

Alice let off a little shriek in her mind. _She is so. Cute._

**I'm psyching myself out now. Hottest guy in school asks you out, you are not suppose to second guess yourself. You are also suppose to be the hottest girl in school, which I'm not. I wonder if maybe he asked me out as a cruel joke like in some bad made for TV teen movie. The good guy always gets the girl in those, right? I hope I find my leading guy. I'm getting fed up waiting for him.**

The smell of burn hung heavy in the kitchen air though Bella didn't seem to notice. He could tell it was coming from something in the garbage bin. When they entered the kitchen Esme was busy over the stove serving up some eggs and sausage onto a plate. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie were watching her raptly.

_I can't believe I messed up eggs, I used to be such a good cook._

_I can't believe Jasper messed up eggs. Didn't he say he used to be a good cook._

_I can't believe were cooking eggs. It's not like she's going to be here long. Can't they just feed her when they take her wherever she's going._

Edward let out a low growl at his other sister to which everyone in the kitchen turned their way.

"Bella dear," Esme said gleefully. "I was just making you something to eat, Do you like eggs and sausage?" She asked while serving up toast and garnishing the plate with parsley. Edward wondered briefly where the food had come from.

Bella hesitated. Most humans naturally shied away from vampire so a room full of them might be overwhelming.

"Oh dear, you're a vegetarian, are you?" asked coming to conclusions. Esme's face that had beaming a moment ago was now full of worry.

"No…" Bella replied panicked as her stomach let out a little grumble. "My second favourite breakfast. Dad always says if the pig is already dead then to just fry it up for him." The whole room was silent for a moment before they all let out a laugh.

Bella attempted to climb on to the barstool next to Emmett and nearly fell off before Edward caught her.

"Sounds like I might have got along with him." Emmett stated and everyone's eyes widened at the past tense reference. _Shit_. He seemed to notice it too. "I'm Emmett," trying to back pedal, "And you are?"

"Don't you know?" she looked amused. "I thought it was hard to keep a secret in this house."

Esme set down the heaping plate in front of Bella.

"Yeah right. I would have you know that we are all masters at keeping secrets Bella." Rosalie smiled shooting a look at Edward. _She is so. Cute_.

"So what is your favourite breakfast then?" Jasper asked.

"Waffles." she said through a full mouth. It was so cute no one bothered to correct her manners.

**Well I guess I should go see what's up with Edward. It doesn't matter what's going on in my human life at least I know there is always one guy that I can ****always**** count on. -Bella**

--

REVIEW!! I swear I'll type super sonic speed if you review!


	3. Chapter 3

I Own Stuff... Just not Twilight!

These two stories will meet up and I will try my best not to rush it or drag it out. I would also like to thank ishkabibble22 and mowz for reveiwing all the chapters... which is really both chapters roll eyes anyway, virtually cookies for both of you. (the kind you eat, not the kind that slow your computer down. I save those for people I don't like)

**--**

**Oct 6, 2019**

**It's going really well with Lucas. We've been out twice this week alone and he's been nothing but a gentleman. Our first date he bought me ice cream and, me being me, I tripped and dropped it. I wasn't upset but I had been excited when we gotten it. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Who wouldn't have been? He insisted on walking the 8 blocks back to get me another.**

The whole family was all milling about the kitchen, a room they had come to spend an increasing amount of time in, watching Esme cook still entranced by how easily it came to her. The only Cullen missing was Emmett who had decided he was going to teach Bella how to ride a bike today without thinking before hand she might need a bike.

Edward was dreading him coming home as they had learned Bella was very clumsy, even in the short time she was in the house. All of them had becoming more and more accustomed to her scent but he feared that instincts might get the better of them when one of her accident drew blood.

_I wonder what we'll do. We could leave with her but she might not even want to come. Where would she go?_

"Hey Everyone," Emmett greeted coming through the door. His arms were overloaded with bags upon bags of knee guards, shin pads, helmets and other protective gear in every colour and size imaginable. He also slapped down a newspaper in front of Edward

On the front page of the Port Angeles Tribune was a familiar face staring out at him. "Bella."

**Then I proceeded to trip again but this time got it all over my nose. I was so embarrassed but he didn't laugh at me, he just took his sleeve and gently wiped it off. It was so sweet.**

**MISSING GIRL**

Authorities still on the lookout for young

victim of kidnapping in downtown Seattle

late last Sunday. Parents of kidnapped

girl were gunned down in alley by a homeless

16year old whose identity is protected. Gunman

in hospital for treatment of 6 broken bones

and a serious concussion. He claims to have

accrued at the hands of the kidnapper. Any

information that leads to an arrest or finding the

child will be handsomely rewarded with funds raised

by the Fork's local sheriff's department

and residents of the neighbouring reservation

by Billy Black, a close friend of the late sheriff.

**The next day I was surprised when he asked me out again, I was certain I had made a too much a fool of myself. That date we chose to do dinner and a movie. Of course there was that internal struggle. First Option: Dinner then movie so you aren't hungry while watching the movie and you aren't starting you're night out with silence. OR. Movie then dinner so you have something to talk about at dinner and you end the evening on a presumably high note. It has to be called dinner-and a -movie for a reason. Right?**

After Edward had finished reading the article he passed it off to Carlisle.

"What would you like to do about this Edward?" Carlisle asked almost immediately. _You could keep her_. His thoughts sounded almost hopeful.

"She's not a pet." Edward snarled. "I can't keep her. She has to want to stay. I still have to tell her what we are." Everyone in the room except for Carlisle let out a small gasp.

_Tell her we're vampires. That should only scar her for life_. Emmett wanted nothing more then to remain on the pedestal Bella put him on.

_I don't know how much longer my tolerance will hold out. If he tells her and she chooses to stay_…. Jasper was having little faith in himself

_She won't have a problem with it Edward. I think telling her is the best bet_. Alice shot him a small sad smile. _It's just not knowledge I would wish on her. Ignorance is bliss_.

**At dinner he told me all about the sports he liked. I smiled and nodded at what I could only assume were appropriate points. He briefly went into baseball where I had minimal knowledge. I watch my family play sometimes when it's storming out. I tried playing that one time as a pitcher but have been banned from actually joining the game after almost breaking my arm falling off the make shift mound. Edward beat himself up pretty bad after that one saying 'he never should have allowed me to play' and ' it was all his fault'. I was clumsy and 10. A few bruises aren't a big deal, the scrapes however tend to cause a few problems when you live with vampires.**

Edward turned over all the options in his head for a while. None of them really appealed to him but any that excluded him from Bella's life hurt too much to think about.

"I'll let her choose." He said though he feared he might not be that choice.

"Edward, she is much too young…" Edward cut off Esme's objections.

"She will choose, and fully informed of what she might be choosing. She can stay with us, remain missing and we leave tomorrow or," he faltered at the thought, "she can choose to stay where she grew up, she can be found." _And live a life where I won't endanger her everyday._

"Who's missing?" came a small voice from the doorway startling everyone in the room. She stretched her arms above her head and let out a small stifled yawn.

**I mostly talked about the family. The dynamic, not the species. Every time I talked about Edward he seemed to tense a little. I asked him about it but he said he didn't realize. Maybe I was imagining things.**

Her floor length cashmere nightgown made swishing noises as she made her way to the stool Edward was on. She crawled onto his lap with minimal help and let out another small yawn before picking up her fork.

Everyone was watching her closely not wanting to miss a moment. She looked at everyone in turn and started rubbing at her eyes. "Is there something on my face or something?" The whole family looked away at the same instant except for Edward who she just looked up at and smiled before digging in.

_What will Edward do if he loses her? I haven't seen him this happy in_…

**Lucas also told me about his family. His sister had just gotten married and he had some pictures on his cell phone. We went through them and I stopped on two. The first was at the very end of the aisle when his Dad was kissing the bride on the cheek. He said he had the photographer take that one, as the best man couldn't exactly be holding a cell phone at the alter. The second was a short video clip of the father daughter dance. I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. I don't know why I got so upset.**

By the time she had finished everyone had left the kitchen except for Bella and Edward. He waited patiently while she put her dishes away.

"Delicious Esme!" She screamed so the whole house could hear. Given Esme's hearing she probably could have heard if she were in town but Bella didn't know that yet.

"Thank You Dear!" Esme screamed back at an equal volume. The smile could be heard in her voice.

Bella started to pad her way out of the room when Edward stopped her. "Just a sec Bella," He said patting the stool beside him. She made her way back across the kitchen but disregarded the stool and resumed her position on his lap sideways.

She looked up at him expectantly.

"There's something I need to tell you." He paused trying to figure out where to start. "We have to leave."

"No!" She gasped her eyes filling with terror as she gripped the back of his shirt tighter. _Not the right place to start. _"You can't leave. I don't know when Mommy and Daddy are coming back and when they do I want you to meet them. They will really like you. I know they will." Tears started to fall down her cheeks. "Please don't leave me."

"No, Bella, No." He hugged her as hard as he was willing to risk. "That's not what I meant."

"Don't you like me anymore?" she asked.

**When I came back from the washroom he was waiting patiently and had already paid the check, for which I scolded him. I hate when people buy me things. Alice and Edward are the worst but all of them have spent their fair share on me. I try and keep a part time job in the towns we've lived in but they think it's absolutely ridiculous. Like I shouldn't have to contribute.**

He stared into her eyes wondering if maybe now was the time to lie. If she thought they didn't want her she would be devastated but in the long run she could have a normal life. Edward knew he couldn't move on but the girl would forget the pain. _No, she needs you. Let her choose you_.

**The movie was okay, I had some trouble concentrating with his hand on my knee. Later in the movie he moved it to around my shoulders. I could have swore I heard a growl in the theatre but when I looked around it was just as empty as when we enter it. He gave me a ride home and broke several traffic laws in doing so, not that I'm not used to it.**

"That's not it Bella," He said wiping away the stray tears. She buried her face in his chest and shook with silent sobs. "Bella we love you." _Love_, he thought for a moment. _Yes, Love_.

She stilled but remained with her face in his chest. He traced small circles on her back, rocking back and forth humming an unfamiliar tune. Her heart rate returned to normal and she pulled away to look at him with blood shot eyes and a red face.

She stood up knelt on his lap and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. The warmth of it leaving a tingling sensation. "I love you too." She whispered for only him to hear.

**And then we shared our first kiss. A light kiss, it didn't rock my world or anything but it was pleasant. "Sweet Dreams." He said. I've heard it said to me _every_ night before I went to sleep for as long as I can rememeber, I felt almost guilty letting Lucas say it. I'll have to correct him in the future.- Bella **


	4. Chapter 4

I Don't Own Twilight

I Love Your Reviews, and you're not to bad yourselves. Thank You for going back and reviewing prev. chaps, thanks for the appreciation and thanks for telling me what you like and don't like. You know who you are, So hand up, over, okay now pat yourselves on the back and pretend it's me feeling you up! (Now that I've disurbed everyone and myself, on with the story)

**--**

**Oct 25, 2019**

**I've been going out with Lucas for 3 weeks now. I went to his house and met his Mom. She was beautiful. Not inhumanly so but a natural beauty and warmth only a mother can emit. Comfortable with herself and everyone around. She tried to make me feel welcome and said how much she would enjoy having coffee with my mother. Esme would be happy to oblige but I can't help but think how well my biological mother probably would have gotten along with her.**

After she released her grip on Edward's neck she leaned back to get a look at him. Though it pained him to let go, she moved to the other stool and faced him.

She let out an intoxicating sigh and folded her small hands business like in front of her. "What is it you have to tell me?"

**Lucas wanted to come to my place for dinner. I had to make an excuse for the rest of the family meal wise. They can eat but avoid it if at all possible. Once the food is in there it really has no place to go but the way the came in. YUCK. **

"Sweetie," he said before engulfing both her hand in his long fingers. "You're parents aren't coming back."

Bella had been having night terrors. Screaming and sweating in her sleep, when they passed she would whimper. He spent nights he wasn't hunting by her bedside, his heart breaking every time her subconscious made her relive that night.

"What do you mean? They might be a while… or?" her eyes started to tear up again as she waited for him to fill in the blank.

"They've died Bella." He knew what most people said in these situations but hadn't, in all his years, come up with a solid belief in God or otherwise. He had read plenty of material on the idea of heaven and hell but remained undecided. He was however decidedly damned and not above lying about it to make her feel better.

"They've gone to heaven." he concluded, bracing himself for her reaction.

**I told him I would make him a meal he would never forget. I love Esme's cooking but it is also one of my passions. I decided on Italian. A mushroom ravioli. My specialty. Though I haven't had many occasion to make it for other people. **

"Is heaven a good place?" she asked through tears but not as hysterical as Edward had imagined.

"Yes."

"But you can't come back when you go there, right?"

"Right."

The tears started to escape staining her nightgown. Edward was quick to pull her into another tight embrace this time leaving her on her own stool. He started humming again and she calmed down in record time. She pushed him away with her little fist. Her knuckle turning white from the strain. He could see the pain in her eyes. He could also see some resolve.

"Can I come with you?"

**When Lucas made it to the house he was introduced to Rose, whom I love to pieces but can't help but be jealous of; Emmett whom he had only met in passing. Em "graduated" last year so they didn't run in the same circles; and Esme and Carlisle who were courteous as always. Edward, Jasper, and Alice had never really seen him outside of school but still exchanged pleasantries. When they all went off with their "things to do" I led Luke into the kitchen.**

It took everything in his power not to promise her all he could offer in that moment and just run away with her. But he promised himself and his family he wouldn't allow that to happen until she knew everything.

"Bella, I know it's a lot." She was still crying softly and he knew that when she retreated to her room she would release her anguish. He could feel Jasper trying to send calming waves to the kitchen from his room above and was thankful for his gift. "But there's more."

He moved from his crouched position in front of her back to his stool and sat. Here it goes.

**He watched me grab everything from it's place and start cutting the vegetables. Being the smart ass he is offered to cut them for me. Just because I accidentally dropped a blade onto my partners shoe in home ec. last year does not make every sharp object a weapon in my hands… usually. And besides, I missed her toe.**

"Bella, we're vampires."

**Half-way through chopping the mushrooms he decided to risk injury and came up behind me and started tickling my sides. I laughed and nearly cut off a finger or two in the process. When I resumed chopping he left his hands on my waist and started kissing my neck. It felt amazing. We had never really gotten physically close because someone was always around and just when I thought we might have a moment to spare Edward cleared his throat behind me.**

"Oh." Was all she managed though her expression didn't change any.

Edward stared at her imploringly, wishing his power worked on her to be able to know what was going on inside her head. He waited for her to elaborate.

She looked up to the ceiling as she only did when she was thinking really hard.

"So… you like, drink blood and stuff?"

**I, of course, immediately pushed Lucas away. Edward and I have always been so close and now I feel guilty that he has to share me. There's no way I would allow my no PDA rule be breached. In any case he came into the room smiling. He's been in depressed mode for so long now it was refreshing to see him smiling. And then if I wasn't confused enough, he asked me what was for dinner. **

Edward laughed involuntarily before he let his jaw drop in shock. She just looked up at him as if he had told her it was raining outside. Duh.

"Yes, I guess you could say that." The conversation took a turn he hadn't expected. "We drink animal blood to survive."

"Is that why you don't like waffles? I thought everyone liked waffles." she asked with a look of dismay.

At this point Edward was shaking his head from side to side smiling. "Um yea. That's a start." It was time to get serious again. "But Bella, some vampires aren't like us. They're dangerous. Staying with us will put you in danger." He stared back at her willing her to understand. "They drink human blood."

"But you'll protect me," she said flinging herself off the stool and into his arms with reflexes he wouldn't of thought possible. The scent of her filled his nose as his mouth filled with venom. "You won't let them drink me."

**I sent Lucas home after dinner, of which Edward only ate a few bites, but still enough to make him uncomfortable. As soon as Luke was out the door he excused himself. I let him have a minute… and then let him have it. He yelled right back at me, that I was making a huge mistake, boys his age…, and what this could mean to the family if he ever found out. I've never fought with him about anything important, ever. I haven't been able to stop crying since. I can't stand not being able to talk to him about my problems, but when HE is my problem it makes thing difficult. **

"No," he said swallowing the venom and embracing her back. "I won't ever let them hurt you."

"I'm coming with you." She said and then ran to her bedroom to be alone.

**It's almost like he wants me to choose. He would never ask me to but… I want to be able to tell him I'd always choose him.- Bella**

**--**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!**

**A**lso, my other story is getting lonely. I'm gonna go spend time with it right now but you could come keep it company as well!


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own any recognizable characters!

Thanks again to all my reviewers. They really make my day! Really Really! You excited much to hear Edward's side of Bella's Diary entries? Me Too! But she has to do that pesky growing up thing people do sometimes.

**--**

**Nov 1, 2019**

**Halloween is one of my favourite days of the year. At least it used to be. I loved the candy, the little kids in their costumes and the haunted houses. This year the school actually braved putting on a dance. They haven't put on many because of a problem with underage drinking. I was so excited, not for the dancing because that never ends well, but because Lucas asked me. What I didn't know was the surprises in store for me.**

"We could go to Peru." Rosalie started. "I always like Peru."

"Too much political nonsense, how about Africa?" Alice always wanted to go to Africa. _Political Nonsense. Ha._

Edward thought for a moment. They could go anywhere in the world and be fine themselves but they had to keep Bella's needs in mind. _And I'll have to be able to watch her all the time_. "There's too much of a language barrier, and besides. Anywhere we'd take her with little sun wouldn't be that suitable for a child."

_You can't watch her all the time Edward. _Alice knew him to well.

"London. We have that one house just outside London. She will love the country there." Esme suggested.

"It's not the right time of the year for that, and besides, we can't go back for at least a decade. It wasn't that long ago we left." Edward was convinced there was only one place to go.

**I was dressed up as Tinkerbelle, a classic right? and Luke decided to be my Peter Pan. We looked so cute together. My costume might have been a little short, but that's what I get for letting Alice dress me. She said all the guys would enjoy it and that it would cheer Edward up. Like I cared.**

"Alaska!" Bella screamed from the backseat of the Volvo as they flew down the highway. "Alaska… really?"

"Yes Bella. Alaska." Edward laughed at her exasperation. He knew the weather could be a little extreme sometimes but it would be best for during the school year.

"We will live outside Anchorage for a few years while you're going to school," _then we will up and move you again as soon as your settled _he internally groaned, "And during the summer we'll live in Northern BC in our cabin."

"ALASKA!!" Bella rolled her eyes and sighed.

**Alice decided that her and Jasper would be Vampires. I rolled over laughing when they came down dressed as the "undead". I also found it funny that they never dressed up like that before. They all love irony, it should've been the obvious. Emmett and Rose decided on Neptune and his mermaid queen. I have a feeling that was all Emmett's idea. His wife wearing nothing but seashells in public. Riiiight. **

When they reached their house outside Anchorage, Bella's jaw dropped. It was a large glass monstrosity that the stars could be see through the top of. At night all the trees surrounding the house were reflected off the many angles the windows offered.

"Wow." Was all Bella could manage before Alice bounded out of the house.

"What took you so long. I've nearly had enough time to finish Bella's room before you got here," Alice grinned, he was sure she already knew. "You left at the same time as me. Surely you could have beat me here?"

"I might have been here faster if it hadn't been for a certain someone, " He lifted Bella into the air and spun her around, her laughter only encouraging him to spin faster, "hadn't been keeping her eye on the speedometer the whole way."

**I didn't see Edward's costume until later that night, or at least I didn't know it was him. Once we got to the dance Lucas went off to get some refreshments. Left to fend for myself, I had many offers to dance. They all take pity on me because I was dating Lucas and their his friends. I said no as to not risk injuring half the male population in school. **

"Do you like it?" Alice asked from behind Bella while Edward leaned against the doorway.

The room was painted a sky blue with silver accents everywhere. The back wall, which acted like a mirror this time of night, was all window. Her king size bed frame was all brushed silver as well with all white comforters and a mountain of white and blue pillows. The closet was closed now but Edward suspected it was well stocked.

"Like it…" Bella asked stunned. "I love it." She ran to the bed and threw herself into the mountain of pillows, effectively covering herself from view.

While Alice and Bella busied themselves with a pillow fight on the bed, Edward went to inspect the shelves that lined the wall. A large collection of CD's was there. Most were his that Bella expressed interest in _or would express interest in, _others he didn't recognize but if Bella liked them then he was sure to as well. He looked around but aside from books, he had yet to look at the titles of, and CD's he didn't see anything.

"What, no TV?"

**There was one offer I couldn't refuse. Prince Charming sauntered towards me in his knee, length dark blue petticoat and a gold masque. He bowed in front of me with his hand outstretched. I took it without thinking. It was a slow song and he held me close without speaking. I stumbled once but he didn't let me fall. He put his head in the crook of my neck without actually touching me. Normally I wouldn't have allowed for a stranger to get that close but I felt completely safe. Then I saw a furious Lucas glaring at me over Prince Charming's shoulder. **

"Ye of little faith brother." He gaffed at Alice's joke as she dance across the room. On one of the windows was an LCD touch pad. She punched a few buttons while Bella stumbled her way to where Alice was. "Bella say hello."

Bella looked confused for a moment. "He..Hello," she nearly jumped back in surprise when she got an answer.

"Hello Miss Bella, What can I do for you?" asked a very pleasant woman's voice.

"Um…" she asked somewhat fearful, Alice nodded to her encouragingly. "The TV I guess."

Just then the bookcase Edward was leaning on collapsed in on itself into an entertainment room. The walls were lined with movies and some artwork. There was a nice sofa and coffee table framing a large TV.

"That's more like it." Edward sighed from where he landed on the ground.

Bella and Alice were doubled over in laughter.

**I quickly thanked him for the dance though it wasn't nearly over and went to Lucas. He was fuming and pacing. He took one last angry look at me and stormed from the gym. I trailed after him into the hallway. The first several feet were brightly lit but past that the halls were dark. I could hear the music pick up. And see the strobe lights through the small windows into the gym and considered turning back. Instead I followed further into the school. How stupid could I have been?**

"What's 2+5?"

"7"

"Who wrote One Fish, Two Fish?"

"Dr. Seuss."

"Who are Trix for?"

"Kids."

"What's the capital of Brazil?

"Uhhh…."

"See Edward. 3 out of 4!" said an excited Emmett while holding up the incorrect amount of fingers. "She definitely doesn't have to go to school, She can just play with me all day." He shot Edward his boyish grin.

"She should be getting 4 out of 4." Edward smiled knowing exactly how Emmett felt. He didn't want to let her go anymore then the rest of the family. He picked up her small pink back pack and started heading for the door.

"Brasilia!" She said excitedly having remembered. Edward rolled his eyes and continued his way to the car.

**I rounded the corner and collided with Lucas who was muttering as if he hadn't noticed my arrival. Then he lifted his arms and started screaming at me. "You don't know how crazy you're driving me." "All those boys looking at you like you're a piece of meat, you're mine. Why don't they see that." His. Like I'd ever belong to a jerk like that. **

"Okay, let's go over it again." Edward asked for the third time that morning.

"Do I have to?" Bella asked. He knew she knew. He just had to take precautions.

She sighed in defeat and examined the generic elementary in front of her. "I'm Isabella Marie Cullen. I came here from Toronto, Ontario. That's in Canada. I was adopted when I was 3. Blah, Blah, Blah."

"That was good. I guess it's time for you to go in now." He felt his own hand tighten on hers, not wanting to let go.

She looked their entwined hands and then back up at him. "That might be easier if you let go."

**He put his hands on the lockers either side of my head and continued his ranting "And then you allow HIM to have his hands all over you, you slut." He started to hit the locker on my left leaving large dents in the metal and his fist started to bleed. I was starting to think he was going to hit me when he wound up, and pulled back…**

Halfway through the day Edward got a call from the school asking him to come down right away. It didn't take long to find the classroom Bella was in. Her face was red from crying. The moment she caught sight of him she ran from the teacher and into his arms.

"What's wrong, what happened?" He turned a furious eye on the approaching teacher.

_He's much to young to be the girls father_. She thought. "Are you…" she consulted the piece of paper in front of her, "Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"

"No, I'm his son. Bella's my adoptive sister." _I wish any guy I met was as good with kids, look at him, he's a natural and gorgeous to boot_. "I will not ask again, What. Happened?" He growled not willing to waste anytime with a smitten school teacher.

"She had a bad dream. Woke up screaming and asking for some guy named Edward." His breath caught in his throat. This wasn't some poor teacher's fault. It was his. _I shouldn't have left_. He started humming what was now becoming a familiar song, the same one he hummed to her countless times already and left the room with her crying into his shoulder.

**And then Alice caught his fist before it made contact. I saw Jasper standing at the end of the hall. He didn't come any closer because of the blood. Alice threw Luke into the wall opposite us which knocked him unconscious. Then came the tears. My tears.**

"I don't wanna go back, don't make me, please?" Bella had been pleading since they left.

"You won't have to go back today." Edward tried to stress the today but he wasn't sure he wanted her to go back either.

"Ever. I don't want to go back ever." she said stubbornly.

"You will. You need friends your own age and going to school is a good way to make friends." Reason. She could see reason.

"Why?"

He groaned out loud. "Because."

**Alice rocked me back and forth for a while my fear started to drain and then my sense of loss appeared. She got me home and I went to my bedroom immediately. After what felt like hours of crying there was a knock on the door. I knew who it was. I spoke as clearly as possible "If you have come to say I told you so, I don't want to hear it!" I hate when he's right. The door cracked open enough for him to slide through, in his Prince Charming costume. **

That night Bella was sulking in the living room. Everyone had asked her countless times what was wrong but she just shot glare at Edward and said "Nothing."

_Wouldn't want to be you Bro_.

"Bella, would you come here please. I have something I want to show you." He asked from the doorway into the music room. He sat down on the piano bench waiting for her to come into the room. He was about to give up hope that she was going to come in of her own accord when she popped her head around the corner.

She put effort into her pout and took a seat beside him, refusing to make eye contact. He started playing some random keys while talking.

"You know why I love music?" he asked. "All of us as vampires can hear every perfect note,but we can also hear the flaws. The flaws is why I listen to the music because just like features on the face it makes it that much more beautiful." He lifted his fingers from the keys and felt her eyes on him. _It's a start_. "This piece," He said looking down taking his chance on getting lost in the small brown orbs, "I wrote for you, and right now has plenty flaws." He grinned.

And with that he started to play. It wasn't a masterpiece but it was hers. She was staring at his fingers stroking each key in an intricate pattern. He was staring at her reactions. Each smile, each heart beat, and each intake of breath; together in his ears was a symphony.

"Beautiful." She yawned and curled up on the bench so he could continue playing.

**He looked like he was holding back his anger. I heard Alice call "Be nice." from the hallway. He sat down on my bed across from me and just stared. We sat in silence staring at each other, then I started crying again. He moved closer to me on the bed and kissed both of my cheeks as if to kiss my tears away and then kissed the top of my head and pushed my hair back. I lied down pulling him with me and he held me while I cried. All was forgiven and I fell asleep in my ridiculous costume while he hummed in my ear and held me. Before I fell asleep the last thing I heard was "Sweet Dreams." The first time in 3 weeks.-Bella **

--

If you have any other locales good for growing up Bella and vamps I am more then open to a few suggestions. Alaska is way to overdone but it fits so I did it anyway.

PLEASE REVIEW! I will write faster. Promise!


	6. Chapter 6

I Do Not Own Twilight or it's characters.

I'm having a bad... month. That should sum it up. It's only 1/12 of the year. I'll get over it. Thanks again for the reviews. I see you... yes you, added me to your alert list. Maybe just maybe you could also send me a review. Let's aim for 10. Pretty please with cherries. I got lots of cherries for you.

--

**Nov 29, 2019**

**Alice took me shopping today (translation: Alice forced me to go shopping today). She said I needed to get out of my funk and move on with life. I am NOT in a funk. I'm just in weird mood. Jasper came with us to be our pack mule and Edward usually would keep him company but he opted out. I think he might be avoiding me.**

Edward stood in the kitchen knowing his eyes were pitch black. He hadn't breathed in the last ten minutes but the intoxicating smell was still assaulting him.

The rest of the family was standing outside the large picture window, just outside the kitchen, watching intently while Carlisle worked on Bella's knee. She was silently sobbing and would wince when he prodded a tender spot.

She looked back to Edward and reached out her hand. "It hurts." she said the pain evident in her voice.

Edward shot an angry glare at Emmett. Though it pained him not to, he didn't take her outstretched hand for fear his temper would flare.

_I'm really sorry. I only left for a second._

"And that's all it took." Edward said at a normal volume, sure that Emmett would hear. His fists balling so tight he was thankful Bella's hands were safely folded in her lap.

**After the incident we decided my going back to school _here_ was not going to happen. Maybe 'we' is to broad a term. It's only 'we' as long as you leave out the 'me'. I guess I knew there was no going back after Lucas tried to hit me. The first couple days he left an embarrassing amount of messages on my phone then mysteriously stopped calling all together. I wonder why, not that I'm not thankful, just wonder what made him stop. **

"I said to watch her. Catch her if she tipped in the slightest." Edward moved to just behind Carlisle's shoulder to ensure the damage wasn't as bad as it seemed. "She could have….. You could have…" _I could have_…

_I know_. Emmett sulked away into the woods.

**The thing I miss most about our relationship is his family. I miss his mom's cookies. She said the secret ingredient was 'love' but everyone in earshot would correct her with, "no actually, it's nutmeg." and then she would laugh.**

"You need some air." Carlisle stated, though Edward knew it was more of a command.

He stopped pacing and looked into his fathers eyes. "I'm fine."

_No your not. Your not thinking clearly_. "You should really get some. I'll finish up here quick and then Alice can play with Bella."

"Where'd Emmett go?" Bella interrupted, scanning the yard for her bear sized brother. "He was teaching me how to ride a bike." Edward scoffed. Bella stared him down. "I want to learn. He promised." She looked at him with wide pleading eyes.

_He was pretty upset_. Carlisle continued with his thorough cleaning of her wound. _Show him a little compassion, he doesn't want Bella hurt any more then you do._

"Did he leave because of me?" Bella asked oblivious to the silent conversation Carlisle and Edward could hold in her presence. "It's my fault. He told me to wait and … and…I don't want him to leave."

**I was also fond of his dad. He worked with the police department and knew everything about the town. If I didn't know Alice and Rose, I would have said he was the biggest gossip queen this side of Perez the II. He does however get a close third.**

Edward kissed Bella on the crown of her head and left the room hastily. Passing the rest of the family he quickly requested that Alice sit with Bella until Carlisle finished up. She didn't bother answering, instead, spun on her heals and made her way to the door Edward left slightly ajar.

"Thank You, I know it's hard." He said wishing that it wasn't.

_Your Welcome_.

**I can't figure out why it all seemed so familiar. I was so young when the Cullen's took me in, they're the only family I know. I know my bio mom and dad are dead. And I know we used to live in Washington. It was a small town, 'barely worthy of a map' as Carlisle would say though they are the places he enjoys most.**

"Emmett." Edward hollered through the trees. Even though his voice carried well, he cupped his hand around his mouth and bellowed again. "Emmett!"

_Go Away_.

Edward couldn't tell from thoughts what direction a person might be in but could tell from the rustling of disturbed leaves. He raced to Emmett's side in a matter of seconds, settling down next to him against a fallen tree. He stared for a moment at the jagged stump of the tree they were leaning against. The edges were still moist with recent life and the soil at the roots had been recently turned.

"What on earth did this tree ever do to you?" Edward joked. Emmett's mouth twitched but only for a moment before returning to a frown. A feature that looked very much out of place on his face.

"You know there is a very upset little girl at the house…" Emmett shrugged but his eyes tightened slightly, "waiting to be taught how to ride a bike."

_But she got hurt_. A play by play of her falling over and the intense longing for lapping up her spilt blood coursed through his memory. Edward let out a small growl. "Sorry. It's just… it's all my fault. You were right to blame me_."_

"I won't argue with you on that one, but she would. Bella is at home beating herself up because she blames herself for you leaving." He shook his head from side to side. "So… What do you say?"

**Can't remember for the life of me what it was called… something simple, like Spoon.**

"Who wants to learn to ride a bike?" Emmett boomed as Bella threw herself at him coming in the door. She was already fully clad in as many guards her little frame could hold.

Alice thought about her short vision from earlier. "_Look everyone. Look. I'm doing it. I'm really doing it." as Bella rode circles around the clapping, proud Cullen family_.

**Spoon?! That's ridiculous, Who would name a town Spoon? I wonder if there's anything there to trigger my memories.- Bella**

--

So Bella's going home soon and her side is going to get longer. Have you ever tried to write dialougue into a diary entry. It's not easy or natural. And there is a Spoon River but Google didn't find a place called Spoon. I was so hoping! RxR

By the way, who else is in love with Ian/Jared from Stephanie's the host? I'd be down for bunking it with either of them (or both). DROOL Edward comes first though.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Characters not mine!

So here is a shout out to -Cinderella-Princess-, one of the idea's here is hers. Thank You muchly. Second, everyone else who reviewed. I love them they help me write and please keep them coming.

If it helps, sometimes I read the diary entries then the story parts. Or not.

--

**Dec 3, 2019**

**Stupid vampires are no help. I asked my entire family what they knew about my parents and they knew nothing, nada, zip. **

_It's been over a year Edward_.

"Don't you think I know that, Alice" Edward replied good naturedly as they walked through the mall. The whole mall was clad in evergreen boughs and red and gold ribbons. "It's just I want this Christmas to be special. What if she wishes she was spending the holidays with…"

"Who Edward? Who exactly, other then you, does she care to spend the holidays with."

"EDWARD!" Bella screamed from the glass partition separating the two sides of the second level of the mall. Jasper was chasing her at a human pace from behind. "I LOVE PARIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME."

**I hadn't asked about them since I was 9, Carlisle said the last time I asked I was 9!! I don't even remember being told then. I do remember a story Alice used to tell me about two warriors and their fight against evil. I remember I used to picture my parents when she would tell it. Now I can't even remember their faces. Tell me the same story today and it would be two of the Cullen faces.**

Christmas was never a big thing with the Cullen's before the newest addition to the family. Last year it wasn't long after Bella joined them they celebrated in Branson, Missouri. Proving to be the last time they pick a place they've never been to but heard was a good time. At least without more research.

The family -friendly Las Vegas, as it is deemed, was a tourist trap waiting to happen. Unfortunately they found out a little to late, Alice being too preoccupied figuring out which presents Bella would like better rather then where she would be opening them.

**This is what I know.**

"Slow down Bella! Slow down."

Bella hadn't grown much but the little bit she had did not help her coordination. When she rounded the corner at breakneck speed to dash into Edward's arms she, instead, ploughed into a display bed that was sticking out of one of the department stores.

"Wow," Jasper said sarcastically, "didn't see that one coming."

**My father was the chief of police. It's on paper now. I won't forget. My father was the chief of police and my mother was an "entrepreneur". Apparently she had so many jobs a paper trail was nearly impossible to trace. Paper trails were all any of the family had to work off of. **

A couple hours later Edward and Bella were walking hand in hand down the Champs Elysees. It was late for an 8year old but they were on vacation. The rest of the family had went off ahead of them to the Eiffel Tower.

Bella was babbling on about how Jasper had to make her calm down to sit on Santa's knee and how Santa smelled funny. Also what she asked him for, but it didn't matter much because it was all under the tree at the hotel suite, except for the pony. She had to wait until she got home for that one.

"You're really enjoying yourself? Really?" he wished that her mind was an open book for him. He was sure even if it was, she'd still surprise him around every corner.

"How many times do I have to tell you? Or maybe we should get Jasper to tell you again."

"Just as long as you are." He smile and laughed as a strange smell hit him. He took up a defensive position in front of Bella. This street was never empty, even at this hour. Yet the few people that had been on it earlier had left.

He took another deep whiff. "Vampires."

Bella trembled behind him and asked, "The good kind?"

**They liked the opera. Or maybe I liked the opera. The night they were killed we were coming out of a production of Puccini's Madame Butterfly. We must have gone to shows regularly according to credit card statements. I only wish I knew if we went because my parents wanted to or because I wanted to. "The night they were killed." Seems like a harsh way to talk about blood relatives. What does that say about me?**

A mist had rolled in off the river and the arch framed their approach. Stepping lightly through the mist were three vampires. The lights bordering the street reflected off their crimson eyes.

Edward mentally calculated. 3 vs. 1 weren't good odds in his fight or flight debate.

The left flanking male of the group sniffed the air. A breeze ruffled Bella's hair and a smile broke out on his face.

_She smells good enough to eat._

"No, not the good kind."

**Forks, Washington. I spent nearly 1/3 my existence in a place named after cutlery. My parent are buried in that ground… and soon I'll be back there again. My room is nearly packed and since I came in here 2hrs ago, I'm sure the rest of the house is done. I feel like I'm going home. As long as everyone is with me, it will be home. -Bella**

**--**

For those impatient few (and don't get me wrong, I'm right there with you) these two stories will meet up and the POV will change drastically. I'm not going to tell you how but I'm excited for when it does come around. It is still some chapters down the road.

I also have this other fic you should read. **You Bite: A Love Story**. I don't have many reader for it. Don't forget to review this chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys. I didn't have spell check because I did this one at work. It's Saturday and there's less things to do. I nver work Sat but they wanted me this one. I'm strictly a Mon-Fri person. Anyway. I apologize.

This chapter is a little different. I will return to the other format. This is a one chapter thing, and it works. I hope you think so too! Don't forget to review.

--

**Dec 27, 2019**

**I think Edward is procrastinating taking me back. He might think I won't be able to leave. I'd like to see what happens to the person that tells me I can't, but that's beside the point.**

**Anyway, they took me on another insane destination Christmas which lasted 3 weeks. It wasn't suppose to last that long but with the ex in town we decided to leave early. It was fairly uneventful but it brought back memories of one of my more eventful ones. I almost died.**

**I barely remember it, I rarely even think about it. I didn't have a journal back then but is definately worth documentation so here it goes...**

EPOV Paris Dec 23, 2009

(_Sorry my dates aren't consistent, Bella is 7 when this happens_)

"Vampires."

"The good kind?"

"No, not the good kind."

"Well that can't be good." She said behind me.

Edward never let his gaze stray from the vampire that thought of Bella as a snack. The other two's thoughts were of curiosity rather then their stomachs. Edward tried to hide Bella from their veiw as best he could and straightened his posture. The apparent leader of the coven didn't seem to be a threat. Surely the other two wouldn't attack without his say so.

The center vampire was tall with darker skin then any vampire Edward had ever come in contact with. His dark shoulder length hair was still a stark contrast to his skin. The female flanking vampire had vibrant red hair and she stood a little taller then her leader. She was also wearing 4" heels which might have had something to do with that. The vampire to the other side, who Edward was most concerned with, was blonde and the same height but more muscular then the first.

"Hello," the female next to their coven leader greeted. "How are you this fine evening?" She asked craning her neck to see the hiding human child.

"We're fine thank you." Where was your little psychic pixie when you needed her?

_She looks like a tasty little morsel, doesn't she_? He had to hold back a growl as to not give more away then he already had by his protective stance. It seemed as if his defensive position only made the male flanking vampire want her more.

"How about you sweetheart?" she asked, her voice dripping with sweet condesation. "How are you liking Paris?" She dropped to one knee and held out her hand. Her red eyes had a hungry spark behind them.

The coven leader put a strong hand on her shoulder encouraging her to stand up. They shared a meaningful look before he glanced back at the other for confirmation. It struck Edward as odd. Covens rarely acted with democracy in mind. The female vampire stood up fast. "Just having a little fun." She said to know one in particular.

"Is she yours?" he lifted his fingers. The gesture was simple enough but almost threatening.

"You wouldn't mind sharing, would you?" said the other male taking a step forward.

"James," the other hissed at him placing an arm over his chest. James growled and looked at the arm as if it was teaming with disease. A low growl escaped his throat before he fell back into line. _Young man better watch it before I rip his arms from his body_ _and burn them while he watches_.

"Laurent," he replied curtly.

Laurent cleared his throat and took a step forward. "I've ran into your kind before, you're eyes are always the same. Animal drinker."

"Vegetarians." Edward corrected him.

Laurent nodded and smiled. _Clever. He better watch his toungue before James... _"And the company you keep isn't a problem for you then."

"No, and she's not you're problem either." James let out another low grumble. "I think we'll be going now."

Edward scooped Bella into his arms to stradle his hip. She let out fearful whimper because she was terrified of his running. He started to walk away at a brisk pace without bothering to look back. There was a red flash in his vision and the female was infront of him. He turned to walk another direction but James blocked that path.

"This is hardly necisary." Edward sighed turning toward Laurent.

"I will have no part in this." Laurent said directing his reply to James. "Victoria, it was a pleasure." He nodded to his renounced leader and then was gone. One down, two to go.

He gently set Bella down. He could have out run either of them by himself but not toting Bella. When he turned back to face his opponents, a Rols he didn't recognize was speeding towards them. _You might want to move Edward_. Alice's voice rang out in his head as the headlights backlit it target.

_What the... _both thought before being crashed into. They went up and over the windshield, shattering it and rolling off the back.

Alice hopped out of the drivers side with a frantic look on her face. "Edward, he's a tr.."

"Tracker. I know."

"He won't stop until he has..."

"Bella. I KNOW."

By this time Emmett, Rose and Jasper had exited the car and approached the motionless bodies menacingly.

"Stay right there sweetie." He pointed at Bella and she nodded.

Alice had already joined the others and Edward quickly followed. Jasper and Emmett had closed in on James and grabbed both arms before he could react. The Alice and Rosalie flanked Edward in a similar fashion that they had approached him earlier. "What do you want?" Edward growled out.

James eyes flashed over Edward's shoulder and then back to him. "Is she worth it?" Emmett and Jasper eyes darkened and tightened thier grip. _She is Edward, we're with you_. I nodded. If it kept Bella safe, then a vampire would have to die today. Jasper and Emmett started to pull and James let out a cry of agony.

"Ah. Ah. Ah." Victoria's voice came from behind us. she was kneeling down behind Bella, the back of her hand stroking Bella's cheek where tears were flowing freely. "You really think you should be doing that?"

Jasper and Emmett immidiately stopped pulling on James.

"That's better. Now release him."

"Not until we get her back," Rose voice startled Edward.

_Maybe they'll trade? I don't know what I'd do without James. He's going to be furious_.

"A trade?" Alice suggested. If he hadn't known better Edward would have thought she was the mindreader. He instead was paralyzed with fear for his the girl in Victoria's grasp.

"You read my mind."

_Keep Bella out of James reach. Tell Emmett to go the other side_.

Edward started walking forward and Emmett followed suit. He gesture for Emmett to stay on his side. When the were within 4 feet Edward snatched Bella away and James let out a ferocious snarl.

"Don't think this is over for a second." He bellowed before stomping away with Victoria in his wake. _Yup, he's pissed_.

Everyone hugged Bella and Edward stood back a few steps waiting his turn. Then things happened faster then he thought possible.

"Edward." She dashed out of the group hug she'd been caught in.

"BELLA, NO!!" Alice screamed.

And she tripped falling into shard of windshield slicing open her knees and palms. The blood was assaulting his sense and he lost coltrol as it flowed freely over the sidewalk. Edward didn't realize what he had been doing when he seemingly ran into two boulders that fought him to the ground. He could hear his name but couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"Edward, Edward. Snap out of it." A cold hand shot out and grabbed his nose. His eyes focused on Emmett and Jasper holding him to the ground.

"Bella?!" He asked hoping he hadn't gotten far.

"She'll be fine. Just hold your breath." _Please hurry Carlisle,_ Alice thought frantically. _She's going to be fine_.

oOoOoOoOo

**So not only was I almost killed by some Brad Pitt wannabe and red haired hag but my own... Edward. I must say no Christmas has topped it since. We're driving up the coast now. Will be in Washington by morning. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. I don't know what to expect. All I know is Edward's jaw gets tighter every mile closer we get. -Bella**

**A/N I'm gonna update Just Another Girl tomorrow. Check it out!**


	9. Chapter 9

This is the first of two. The other will be out tonight or tommorrow. I feel horrible for not getting it out sooner. Please don't shun me. Two short awesome chapters coming your way... now.

I don't own Twilight.

--

**Jan 4, 2019**

**Finally made it. I felt everything shift when I got here like the tumblers on a lock. A few more clicks and the mystery that is me will be solved. I know that I'm not defined by who my parents are or where they lived but I feel like being here will… I don't know. Help me become that person.**

_Don't think this is over… _

**I went to the cemetery. Charlie Swan. Beloved father. **_**My**_** father. It was weird to think of someone choosing that sentiment when his daughter wasn't there. Did they choose it in hopes I'd read it one day or maybe as a tribute to my memory. Did that person miss me?**

_Don't think this is over… _James's voice echoed again in Edward's head_._

**Renee Swan. Beloved mother.**

"Oh stop torturing yourself." Alice sighed plopping herself on the sofa next to her brooding brother, giving him a start. Edward didn't hear her approach as he was too wrapped up in his thoughts.

"I'll see anything James has planned. Nothing will happen." She assured him. _Nothing_.

"What if he makes a split second decision? You won't see that, not in time."

"Nothing. Will. Happen." She always sounded so sure of herself.

**The family let me have my privacy for a while. When I finally found them, my parents, the small vase for flowers already had nearly fresh ones in it. I removed the few wilted petals and then dropped the flowers I brought. It seemed wrong to remove someone's flowers who obviously truly cared, when their own 'beloved' daughter couldn't even remember them. Before the sobs could over take me, I ran.**

Emmett stationed himself on the other side of Edward. "Of course nothing will happen. Scared the poor guy to death… you know, if he hadn't been already. He took quite the beating." Emmett's Superman-esque visions of events played out in his mind. He grinned widely. Edward couldn't help but laugh at the picture of himself in a cape.

**I ran until I reached the oldest graves where the flowers had long since died and trees and moss were encroaching on the granite tombstones. There was a bench along side a mausoleum with the name Reyes engraved on it's side. The letter were worn down from the years of neglect. I collapsed on the bench and my thoughts caught up with me. Where had we live? What did my mothers laugh sound like? Where do I belong? Then I asked myself out loud. I screamed it not expecting a reply when a soothing arm snaked around my shoulder. WHERE DO I BELONG?**

It was long past midnight and Edward had all but forgotten why he was worried. Rose was telling a story about how some girl shamelessly threw herself at Emmett's feet and Rosalie pretended not to know him. When Emmett claimed Rose was his wife the other girl broke down because she thought he was lying to get away from her. Edward was expecting Rosalie's evil laugh at the poor girls expense. And two years ago it might have been expected. Instead she finished her story off with her apologizing profusely for pretending not being with Emmett and assured the girl that she deserved better then that knuckle head.

"My knuckle head." she sighed and the shared a chaste kiss… that quickly turned PG-13.

"Getting soft in your old age Rose." Alice smiled.

"Nope. Never. Just know what's important is all." She locked gazes with Edward. _We're all for the better because of her_.

Bella's screams echoes through the house. They continued and didn't waiver. Edward rocketed out of his seat and muttered to himself. _The better for who_?

**I leaned into him. There was no sense in looking up. "You belong with us." He said. He followed it up with a kiss on my hair and rubbing my shoulder. A trick of the wind made it sound like he whispered, "with me." I asked him how I could possibly belong somewhere without knowing where I came from. "I guess that's what we are here to figure out." -Bella**

** You know what 2 do!**


	10. Chapter 10

Two chapters out for you in less then 24 hours. I hope it makes up for the small absense. Fanfiction isn't emailing me links to reply reviews which I'm usually good at. You guys really are awesome.They make my day.

I don't own Twilight.

--

**Jan 05, 2020**

**I went for a quick (independent) back to school shopping today. Alice did the clothes shopping without me saying that her and Rose would get it done faster and that she wouldn't get a specific skirt if I tagged along. Darn! Queue sarcasm here.**

"Alice said you like to come here sometimes." Carlisle said as he walked up behind Edward, the gravel crunching under his feet. Edward had his nose against the chain link fence around Bella's school.

"She's in fifth grade you know." Edward said not taking his eyes away from the playground where Bella was currently watching some other girls skip. She never joined, she only ever watched. Even at that age some of the boys watched her, watching the other girls. They rarely did anything about it, for which Edward was grateful. In a few more years, when Bella would be even more beautiful, he couldn't bare to think of what she'd say when the boys became less shy.

**I don't have much time. Human must get some sleep before her big 7****th**** first day at a new school. Edward, Alice and I are graduating this year. Me for the very first time Jasper is interning at the hospital where Carlisle is working and Rose and Emmett are pretending to take pictures for a nature oriented coffee table book. Let's just say that Emmett will be spending most of his days trying to beat my top score on the old school Pac Man machine when he's not hunting the grizzlies that seem to be in abundance out here. He might have some luck with the grizzlies, not so much with the game.**

Carlisle let out a low whistle at the statement. "Fifth, huh? Never would of known if you hadn't brought it up last night…" _Or at the night before, or at breakfast… _"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be in school."

"Lunch." Edward replied as if that explained everything, including his hour and a half absence. "I just wanted to check up on her. I don't want to miss anything. She doesn't exactly have forever."

**I went to the grocery store as well. I like to do food shopping alone because even after all these years everyone still makes faces. Sometimes I'll bring Esme but she's busy in her garden. Em offered to come but you can only get asked, "How can you eat that stuff?" so many times before you envision popping his head off his body. Then I bumped into a cute guy in the cereal aisle, literally, and hard.**

"She could."

Edward let out a snarl at his father. Carlisle left his face blank. "One day it might be what she wants. When she asks you of it, are you sure you will be able to turn her down?"

**He caught onto my arm before I could fall backward. He had a smile on his face showing off his perfect teeth that contrasted nicely with his dark skin and hair, probably from the reservation we passed on our way into town. And he was tall. Huge. I had to crane my neck to whisper a thank you after which he didn't release his hold on me. He wrinkled his nose and his smile faltered. Then he told me I smelt… off. So much for a heart breaking smile if that's your opening line.**

"She won't. She'll want a normal human life." Edward replied through a grimace.

_Normal? _Carlisle's expression changed from blank to skeptical.

"As normal as we can offer her. I won't condemn her to this …existence."

**He also told me I was warm (shocker). I congratulated him on his powerful skills of observation. He laughed at me then. Before he released me I noticed he was really hot himself, and I told him so. He then said "I do have that effect on the ladies." after which we were both laughing. He introduced himself as Jacob Black. I'm going by Marie while were in town so people don't get suspicious. You know I always thought when I met some guy in a grocery store I'd be holding some exotic fruit instead of standing infront of the Count Chocula.**

Edward turned his back on Carlisle. He knew the one sure fire way to keep her safe would be to turn her. James hadn't come knocking _yet_ but they had only narrowly avoided the close watch of the Volturi these last few years.

"She won't want forever." he sighed. His fathers steps crunched unnecessarily, sounding his retreat. "She won't want me forever."

**I said goodbye quickly and headed toward the checkout passing an older gentleman in a wheelchair. He gave me a curious look and when I reached the end of the aisle he called my name. Not the name I gave Jacob, he called me Isabella. Of course I turned my head out of reflex and met his stunned expression. I don't know why but I got scared. Instead of embracing the opportunity, I ran. Been doing that a lot lately.**

Carlisle sat behind the wheel of his car for a moment while Edward resumed his position against the fence.

_Not so long ago there was a young boy, very breakable at that, I wished he wasn't so. Not one day since I turned you, have I regretted it Edward_. _Do you_?

He started the engine and drove off toward the hospital.

**I don't think my arrival in Forks, Washington has gone unnoticed. -Bella**

**--**

I made with showing you the love of story. Pls send some back to me in the form of reviews. :


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm Sorry. WAY too long. I won't make excuses just forgive me. So I really needed to tell some more of Bella's story and I'm not a big fan of Edward's for this chapter. It's his inner mellow drama. Bella's is good though. I can't wait to write it from EPOV.**

**I Own Nothing! Your reviews were awesome.**

**Thanx mowz, AllyR, and -Cinderella-Princess- for being with this story from the beginning. Your opinions mean a lot to me. **

**Thanks to lasting illusions for the longest review ever. You made my day. I wish I could write all your names here but some of you have been begging for and update and won't read this anyway. The last couple to review really put my but in gear.**

**--**

**Jan 13, 2020**

**It's been one week since my encounter with Jacob Black. 7days of me waiting for him to jump out from behind every tree, wall, or doorway I pass. I go to school and come home and then I got bored. We don't have any neighbours, unless you count the bunnies that live in right off our drive. I forbid those with a liquid diet from eating them. They're just too cute. Off topic. Anyway, I let my guard down to go to the used book store in town.**

"It's going to happen eventually." Emmett said to Edward as they watched a boy approach. Edward was posing as 16 so he could have some of the same classes as Bella, who was only 15, but brilliant. Ahead of the class in almost everything, except math.

Jasper had been coaching her on history since she was 9 and described every epic battle ever in great detail. Bella did an assignment last year where she single-handedly re-enacted the life of a nurse on the battlefields of WWII. She brought her teacher to tears… twice.

**There was a really nice girl working the till. She seemed like she and I would probably have made great friend growing up. Her nametag read Angela. We got to talking and she said she would put in a good word for me after I asked about the 'now hiring' sign. I only hope I'm in town long enough to take advantage of it. Did I mention I didn't tell anyone about meeting Jacob? I had this gut feeling that if I had I wouldn't still be here.**

**I'm not ready to leave just yet.**

Carlisle helped her with biology for which she had an aptitude. If it wasn't for her weak stomach when it came to blood she would have long since been conditioned for the life of a doctor.

Rose always helped with chemistry and mechanics. By the time she was twelve Bella could solve almost any problem with an engine and fix it with record time. It was Emmett's job to create the problems.

Alice and Edward helped her with music and the arts. They knew when she needed pushing and when she needed to go at her own pace. They encouraged her to start a journal to help with her writing. English was always her best subject.

**The towns only coffee shop was on the opposite end of main street. Seeing as it was only 4 blocks long, I decided to walk. After placing my order I felt a tap on my shoulder. When I turned around I was greeted with two sad brown eyes. "Hello Isabella, or do you still prefer to be called Bella?" I gathered he was mad at me for lying to him about my name. Instead of apologizing I said, "Only if I can call you Jake."**

"Eventually isn't today" Edward said crossing his arms over his chest. "She's too young." He stole a glance over his shoulder at Bella who was talking adamantly with Rose and Alice about a concert they had planned to go to. He quickly turned his attention back to the boy stalking across the cafeteria, intent on speaking with her.

Edward moved directly in his path while Emmett and Jasper quickly followed suit.

"_**You don't remember me, do you?"**_

**He asked me if I remembered him and I had to look away. He grabbed my chin and I chanced a look at him. His eyes were pleading. "Let me remind you." I couldn't help but nod my head. He was going to show me a piece of whatever I was missing. I grabbed my coffee and we left for his car.**

**Note to Self: Fork's barista's make an amazing Venti Dry Cappuccino**

_She's looking good today. Blue is definitely her colour. _The boy thought. He wasn't the first for Edward to thwart their plans and probably not the last.

"Hey Brad, How's it going?" Emmett asked.

_Aww Shit. The big one. _Brad mentally cringed.

"Just going to have a talk with Bella. If you don't mind." He gulped loudly.

_Did he just gulp?! _Emmett laughed in his head.

**It wasn't really a car. It was a huge red monster of a truck. Jake eyed it disdainfully and explained his Dad wouldn't let him get a new car when they had a perfectly fine one in working condition. I told him I loved it. He thought I was kidding.**

**The rest of the ride was silent. He was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. He also kept stealing glances in the rear view mirror for reasons I didn't understand. At one point in the road he visibly relaxed and his seemingly ever present smile took up residence on his face again. A few turns, an unpaved road or two later and we pulled up in front of a small house. I heard the creaking of the screen door and Billy rolled on to the porch with a smile of his own,**

"No, you're not." Edward said with a smile on his face. This boy could talk to her in class but wouldn't risk getting rejected in front of his friends.

Brad's anger flared. _Who is he to tell me what I can and can't do_? "Why not?" He asked through clenched teeth. He nervously eyed the three brothers posture. His anger dampened some but he was still determined.

"Because you have plenty of time to talk to her elsewhere. She is currently busy, as you may have noticed…" Edward nodded over his shoulder to where Alice and Rose were cracking up at something Bella said, "enjoying her lunch. If you interrupted that, we might have something to say about it."

**They left me in their small living room while they went to grab some things. On the mantel there was a graduation picture of a girl I found out was Jacob's sister. There was a picture of a much lankier and shorter Jake. The top of the picture said 2019 but there was no way he grew that much in less then a year. At the other side of the mantel were pictures of them when they were younger.**

**Two pictures caught my attention. One was of a young me and Jacob playing on a rocky beach with a sunset behind us. The other was of me climbing on two people lying down on a blanket. I recognised my Dad from his official police picture I found online. The other was my Mom. I look a little like her. I hugged the frame to my chest and heard Billy come back in. He told me to keep it before plopping a very full filing box on the coffee table.**

**In bold black scrawl my name was written on the side. Bella.**

Edward met the boys stare and didn't blink. Brad was the first to back down and Emmett and Jasper broke out in hysterics after he walked away.

"That never loses it's appeal." Emmett gasped between fits of giggles.

"Yah, well at least this one didn't piss himself." Jasper said equally amused.

**I didn't have time to look at all of it. Inside the box there were labelled file folders. I got my real birth certificate out of the file labelled with my full name. Other labels were; Missing Persons, Fund Raising, Seattle PD, newspaper clippings. I asked if I could have a minute and both obliged. There was one folder that caught my attention. Cullen.**

**I slipped the folder into my bag of books and stood to leave. It was definitely time to go. I thanked Billy. He grabbed my hand before allowing me to leave. "You don't have to go back to them." He said. I put on my best blank face and told him I didn't know what he was talking about. He nodded and invited me to come back soon. **

They walked back over to their family table. "What's so funny?" Bella asked confused.

"Nothing." They all said in unison earning themselves a raised eyebrow from the girls. "Nothing at all."

"What did you have to talk about with Brad?" Bella asked. All traces of a smile left Edwards face but he was interrupted by Alice.

"Brad's cute, don't you think?" She asked turning to Bella.

"Yeah, he's a little hottie." Rosalie continued to which caused Emmett to scowl. Rose ignored his pout and shot Edward an evil smirk.

Bella suddenly became very interested in her discarded French fries. "Yah. I guess."

**When the truck broke through the trees I saw Edward pacing and the Volvo parked on the side of the road. Jake let out a small humourless laugh but slowed the truck to a stop. I stepped out quickly and ran to Edward who didn't move any closer to me. I stopped in front of him. I asked if we could go home then as tears started to fall down my cheeks. This afternoon had taken a toll on me. He told me to get in the car but I didn't move. I said not without him. He hissed at me that I just spent a day with 'the wolf' ?? and that they needed to have a chat. His tone filled me with fear. If he wanted to attack Jacob he would have done it already and I didn't want to risk him being angrier with me so I did as I was told.**

**They yelled at each other a few minutes with a seemingly invisible wall between them. I looked away for a second and when I looked back Edward was stomping back to the car and Jacob was nowhere to be seen but his truck was still there.**

_Wow, she's really uncomfortable. _Jasper thought eyeing her curiously.

"I have it on good authority that he likes you." Alice sang cheerily. _Yet he's not the only one_.

Bella shot her head up to look Edward. When she noticed him watching her she blushed furiously and looked back down. She let out a sigh when the bell signalling the next period rang.

"Edward." She said. He nodded to acknowledge her, unsure if he could control his voice. She smile warmly and nodded to the doors over her shoulder. "Biology?"

"Right behind you." He smiled back.

**After he climbed back into the car Edward closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. I heard him take a deep breath and struggled to control my own heartbeat. He apologized for yelling and turned his dark stare on me. "Please don't do that to me ever again." I didn't have time to react before he pulled my face to his and kissed me. Edward kissed me. Hard and passionately and I kissed him back. **

**He tasted amazing and when he pulled away I wanted nothing more then to do it again. My entire body was hyper aware of his every touch and I didn't want it to stop. Then he apologized again and sped home. I don't know what to do.**

**Alice just came in. I'm probably gonna get an earful… HaHa. She can't believe I'd write that about her. -Bella**

**--**

**So next chapter is where the collide part of the story takes place. EPOV will catch up to the 17 birthday party and Bella's diary entries will come to an end. After that I could do two things. I could:**

**A: Write each chapter switcing between Bella and Edwards first person throughout. I wouldn't do it as often as the diary entries. **

**OR**

**B: I could switch between everybody's story and confuse you until you want to kill me and then tie up all the loose ends slowly like the writers of LOST. They make me so mad.**

Also you find out why Jacob's a wolf. The Cullens weren't there so it obviously wasn't them. Hmmm...


	12. Not Chapter 12

Hey guys,

I'm so so so so sorry! This story means so much to me and I keep getting those 'Are you still alive?' PM's. I hate when authors leave these misleading non-chapter chapters but I owe you and explanation.

It's written and on my computer at home, but I moved. I'm at work and they don't let you load stuff on the computers.I've tried to hook internet at the apartment twice but Shaw is physically incapable of calling me instead of using the buzzer... that isn't connected to my cell phone yet! It's written. PLEASE don't give up on me. SOON.

Sorry Again!- Tish(whoshouldbedrawnandquartered)


	13. Chapter 12

Here it is!! Finally. I had to hijack my roommates laptop and steal the WiFi from someone in my building named Kim who doesn't know how to protect her network. A big thank you for Kim everyone. APPLAUSE.

Last chapter with journal entries. TEAR. Everyone takes turns telling Edward what he already knows. It's kinda filler but the next chapter is done. So…

--

**Jan 16, 2019**

**Edward thinks we should leave. In fact, that's pretty much the only thing he's said to me in the last 3 days. Otherwise he's been avoiding me like the plague. Not just because of me, there are werewolves about. Carlisle thought they were long since extinct but Alice said that he met with a guy named Sam to make sure the treaty was still in place. OH YA, did I mention there are werewolves? **

"You got it bad."

"I have know idea what you think I have or why you'd think I'd care."

"Yes you do. A) you read my mind and B) a girl knows these things."

Edward stared doubtfully back at his sister who was edging him on with her wide grin. "I think you have an overactive imagination Rose."

"Nope, I never bet against Alice."

**I'm still trying to sell them all on staying. I really want that job at the bookstore. I want to connect with the people I might have been friends with if I had stayed. I want to learn more about my parents. I decided yesterday there is only one way to do that. I just had to ask.**

"Even you can't hide your feelings from me."

"Don't you think I know that."

"She's old enough now. Today…"

"Old enough. I'm over a hundred and you think she's old enough."

"Physically… yea. And emotionally." Jasper paused to consider his words carefully. "Her feeling are changing too."

Edward rolled his eyes at his brother. "Changing how exactly."

"They're maturing. She's growing into herself emotionally. You and her are closer then ever. I'm just saying it's not unthinkable."

Edward smiled and nodded. Then he laughed out loud.

_What's so funny?_

"Not 'unthinkable' that a vampire fell for the girl he adopted 12 years earlier, that he has to fight his true nature around everyday. Let alone hope that one day she might feel the same."

Jasper let out a laugh himself. "Obviously not that unthinkable."

**I asked Billy to meet me at the cemetery. I knew he cared because he never gave up the search for me, he even came close to catching up with us once. Despite Edward's warning that I should steer clear, I had to learn more. And I did. We laughed and cried over the silliest of things. He told me about my short time with my parents and some stories from before. He shared some more pictures with me and told me some stories about his family. Apparently Jake had quite the unrequited crush when we were younger. Our parents always joked that if I had him as wrapped around my finger at that age that he would have given me the world by age 8.**

**I wonder what Edward would think about that.**

"So you like her?"

"What?" Edward asked stunned at Emmett's forwardness.

"You like Bella, right?" _I was sure he liked her_.

"Ummm, it's just no one has come right out and said it like that before." He was having trouble himself just coming out and saying it.

"Uhhh. Hmmm," Emmett patted him hard on the back.

"Spit it out brother."

"It's not that." Edward took a deep breath. "It's just… I don't think 'like' even begins to cover it." He smiled sheepishly and averted his eyes.

"Wow dude,. You got it bad."

"And you and Rose are so alike it scares me."

**Who am I kidding. He doesn't think about me that way. He only kissed me because he was scared for me … and confused. Do I want him to think of me that way? Do I think of him that way? Now I'm the only one that's confused. **

"Don't say it Alice."

"Say what." She asked waving her shoulders innocently from side to side.

"You know what."

"I do?"

"Yup."

"And you know what it is I was going to say?"

"Yup."

"And…"

"I'm going to do something about it. Tonight."

Alice squealed loudly and threw her arms around Edward's waist. "It's the perfect timing. Her party is going to be amazing and you are going to look dashing. The night will be right out of a fairy tale." A blissful smile broke out across her face.

"Seventeen. I can't believe she's turning seventeen."

"Who me?" Bella said from the doorway still in her favourite pj's and hadn't brushed her hair yet.

Edward pulled her into a hug and twirled her around while she giggle, slapping him playfully on the back. Tonight he was going to tell her how he felt.

"Of course it's you." He said as he placed her right again. "Happy Birthday Bella."

**Boys.**

**Vampires!!**

**Something's going on downstairs. I should probably ….**

"_**Hello Bella**_**."**

**--**

**Okay. So in order to bribe you into reviewing (not that you aren't already amazing reviewing already) I will give anyone who does so a short preview of the next chapter. If you leave an anonymous review please leave me an email address too.**

**Thanks for being so patient, or not in some cases. Hehe. -Tish **


	14. Chapter 13

**I do not own these characters. The ones I do own are assholes so I don't lay claim to them either. Okay, I do.**

**This is the first three chapter of the journal entries. I will quickly get through them to the good stuff. Promise! Please Review.**

Edward.

I looked out on our living room unprepared for what I was about to see. There was silver, black and white streamers around the whole room with balloons to match. A clear plastic raised dj booth in the corner and a four-sided jumbotron hanging from the ceiling.

I panicked. Bella was going to flip. Not in the good way.

"Alice." I called just loud enough for her to hear. I heard her excuse herself and caught a brief glimpse of my angel in her minds eye. The unneeded breath I was taking got caught in my throat.

"You peeked!" Alice whined from the top of the stairs. I shook my head left to right to clear my head. "Yes you did!" She stomped her foot with comical disproportion to her size. "You look like you were just hit with multiple battering rams."

"She looks breathtaking Alice." I sighed nearly forgetting about why I called her out here until some glitter caught my attention. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the center of the room. She looked at me questioningly. I gestured wildly with my arms to the décor.

"Oh… That." she said with an impish smile.

"Bella's not going to appreciate the theatrics. In fact, she asked for a small gathering and it looks to me like your having an MTV worthy bash."

"Come on Edward," she looked up from under her eyelashes, "She's only going to turn 17 once."

"You used that excuse when she turned 16. And we all know how that one turned out."

"She's going to love it by the end of the night. Trust me." She dashed upstairs without another word.

Bella.

I found it curious when Alice excused herself without notice. I guess it's the birthday girls job to be paranoid that people are plotting all day. She advised me that it was in my best interest not to look in a mirror and that she would know if I had.

She danced back into the room with a garment bag.

"Am I going to like it?" I asked her already knowing the answer.

"Why would you ask a silly question you already know the answer to?" Alice let out a short bell like laugh. I laughed with her and covered my face while she unzipped.

"Arms up." She said and I complied with a little pout. I'll never know how she reaches over my head but a moment later I felt satin brushing the back of my knees. Alice steered me toward the mirror and instructed me to open my eyes.

Edward.

I opened the door for almost the entire town. I had to give it to Alice that everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Bella hadn't come down yet but she was expected any minute for her grand entrance. Alice had been very careful with her thought since that one mix-up earlier in the evening.

Emmett and Rose were on the dance floor most of the night and everyone kept a distance as they watched openly. Jasper had steeled close to the bar where they were serving mock tails to all the under aged guests.

I had just settled down on the arm of a chair that had an unobstructed view of the staircase when the doorbell rang again. Through the frosted glass I saw a very familiar spiky head of hair.

"What are you doing out here Alice. Shouldn't you be bringing Bella down?"

"I think she can manage finding her way downstairs in her own home." She shrugged, "Besides I didn't want to miss the look on your face." Her eyes shifted to the staircase behind me at the same moment a collective gasp went through the crowd. I spun on my heels to watch Bella descend the stairs in what appeared to be slow motion.

Her smile was always the first thing to catch my attention. My gaze followed the flow of her hair to her collarbone where I could see her pulse jumping. The blue satin dress she wore, tied up around her neck and fell to just below her knees. I watched as her foot trembled midstep, which combined with the dangerous height of her blue heels… she tripped.

I was at the door and there was no way I could have caught her myself without drawing attention. Instead she fell into a tall boys arms wearing a letterman's jacket that said Lucas on the sleeve. My favourite shade of red stained her cheeks as she thanked him and turned quickly away. I would have to keep a close eye on her tonight to make sure she didn't fall for some other guy. _Into, into some other guy_.

"You're face." Alice trilled beside me. _Totally worth it_.

Bella.

I was making my rounds of the room. The decorations were a bit much but it was hard not to be caught up into the spirit of things. Yet another classmate I had never seen before introduced themselves to me and wished me a Happy Birthday. They were all starting to blend together.

I was about to retire to the snack table when I was tapped on the shoulder.

"Would you like to dance?" A cute boy asked me.

Alice was watching me from the corner next to Jasper. "I'd like that." I replied with a smile. "It's Mike, right?" I asked trying to recall his name from when he introduced himself earlier.

"Mark actually." He sighed. I cursed myself for my poor recollection of names. A dance song was on and I mentally prepared myself for the embarrassment I was sure to bring upon myself. I was about to apologize in advance when he yanked me against his body and grinded to some other rhythm I couldn't hear.

"Umm…" I started. One of his hands travelled down my shoulder to my hip and kept moving in a southerly direction . "Could you…?"

Edward.

Jealousy raged in my chest as the meat puppet's thoughts ran rampant about Bella. The only reason his arms were still connected to his body was that I didn't want to embarrass Bella at her own party. Then his hands started to travel further then I would allow and Bella had a look of distress on her face.

I was about to take matters into my own hands when Emmett interceded. He didn't ask for permission as he grabbed Bella's hand and spun her to his own chest. She tumbled into him with a laugh and he proceeded to spin her again.

He shot a look at me across the dance floor. _I request a song for you brother_. I raised a quizzical eyebrow at his choice of words. _I mean… EWWW. I meant I requested one for you and Bella_. I smiled at how thoughtful he had been.

As the dance song winded to a close a soft acoustic version of The Way You Look Tonight started playing. The raspy vocals of some female artist I never heard before echoed as I glided over to Bella who was awkwardly trying to reach around Emmett's neck. I cleared my throat lightly.

"May I have this dance?" I asked.

Her face lit up like I hadn't seen it all night. I didn't notice Emmett excuse himself as Bella looked up into my eyes. I could get lost in her eyes. _Focus Edward. Focus. _I scolded myself.

She wrapped both her hands around my neck with ease. Her head came up to my chin with the heels she was wearing. I placed my own hands gently on her hips. A trill of excitement coursed through my body. She unconsciously took a step closer and I allowed my hands trailed further to the small of her back. I wondered momentarily if she had any idea the effect she had on me while she rested her head against my shoulder.

Our bodies were flush together as I swayed with her, leading her through the crowed. She closed her eyes and smiled while I watched even breathing. I blocked out all the jealous thoughts of the boys around us.

They didn't matter.

Tonight I was going to tell Bella the truth. She knew I loved her. I said it countless times, always willing her to see through the lie. I didn't just love her. I was in love with her.

It was coming near the end of the song. It felt like the shortest most glorious four minutes of my long life. She leaned back tilting her chin up to look at me but leaving her hips against mine. I was momentarily stunned. I couldn't help myself when I leaned in. Each inch closer I got my dead heart willed itself into my throat.

I watched Alice fall into Jasper behind Bella on the dance floor and caught a glimpse of… oh no.

I turned my head slightly to the side narrowly missing Bella's glorious mouth. I felt a pang of loss as my heart fell to the floor. I let my face linger next to hers, cheek to cheek.

"Edward?" she asked hesitantly. Her heart was fluttering in her chest.

"Happy Birthday my sweet Bella." I whispered in her ear. If I had of spoken the words I may have choked with disappointment.

It hurt me to turn my back on her and ascended the stair case.

"I'm sorry Edward." Alice whispered across the room. I thought of the Bella with blood red eyes in her vision from moments before.

"Me too."

OOoOoOo

Bella.

"Great party Bella." A red capped boy I couldn't recall ever seeing before in my life called. I smile and nodded in his direction.

"Your place is the shit Bells." A group of stoners hollered as I past them. I had been fielding similar congratulations all day.

Some cheerleaders walking by were practically cheering a collective 'hey'. I lifted my hand to wave at them effectively dropping all the books that were stacked in my arms to the floor.

It wasn't unusual for me to drop things. I fell to my knees in an effort to collect it all. When I reached for the last book a hand snatched it from my grasp and held it out to me. "Hi." said a voice belonging to the arm. I hastily stood up and tripped into him.

"Oh, crap." I scolded myself for tripping over nothing. "Sorry." I apologized looking up into his face.

"You do this a lot, Bella?" he asked me with a smile. My cheeks started to burn as I stared up at him. His blonde hair was falling into his blue eyes. "I don't mind, as long as I'm there to catch you before you fall."

"Th…thanks." I managed to speak. "Lucas." I brushed some of my hair behind my ear and thought I saw something spark behind his eyes. Hottest guy in school, well, hottest human. He couldn't possibly be interested in me. "Thanks for last night too. A room full of people watching and you saved me a bit of embarrassment."

"My pleasure."

I started to head toward my class. "Bella," he called after I made it a few steps. When I looked back his eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"YouWantToGoOutWithMeSometime?" He rushed out. I'd been trying to understand speed talking vampires for years so I caught every word… but they didn't make sense in that order.

"Like on a date?" I asked.

He met my eyes then. "Yeah. I would really like… well would you?"

"Yeah." I said startled. As soon as I said the word, dread filled my veins. What if this was a joke? I've never been on a date. What if I make a horrible date? And my biggest problem of all. What do humans like to do?

"GREAT." He seemed truly enthused. "I'll pick you up, Friday at 8?"

I nodded while thinking my last question. What on Earth am I going to tell Edward?

oOoOoOo

Edward.

Alice saw it. She always told me when a guy was going to ask Bella out. He asked her out. I wasn't able to bring myself to deter this humans advances.

_Lucas. _I thought the name as a sneer. I followed them a few nights back down the promenade. He was taking his time. Not going to push her and being perfectly gentlemanly. All I wanted, as I sat at the back of the movie theatre, was him to have one thought to justify my ripping his arms off.

And did he always have to wear that stupid football jacket everywhere. You're Lucas the quarterback. We know!

He paid for the check at dinner. I silently cheered at the time for his mistake. Bella scolded him just as I knew she would but he took it with grace.

I just stewed in my own jealous juices during the movie. When he moved his arm around her shoulder I let a growl escape. I had to get out of there.

My Bella.

No. She wasn't mine like that. She couldn't ever be or her future would change. Alice saw it.

"What are you doing home so early?" Alice asked. "The movie isn't over for another 17 minutes."

I ignored her question as I bounded to my bedroom. Half an hour later I heard the poorly tuned engine come up the driveway. I listened to it idle a few minute. What was taking her so long? When I couldn't take it anymore I stole a look out of the curtains. She had just cracked the door and was stepping out.

Good. Now he could go home. Then she stopped and turned back to him. "No. no no no. Step out of the car Bella." I pleaded with her. She leaned over the console. Maybe she left something?

Their lips met the same instant my heart cracked. It was soft at first and then he pushed a bit further. She didn't stop him. It was only a few moment. It felt a lot longer. I thought briefly of how happy I had been with her in my arms on her birthday and the stark contrast to the pain I felt now.

"Sweet Dreams." He called after her as I sunk down my wall below the window.

"Sweet Dreams." I whispered as I curled up into a ball on my floor. Only my waking nightmares kept me company.

--

**Edward is so Emo sometimes. Good thing I wouldn't have in any other way. Sorry if it was too long. Please Review. I might start doing this updating thing more often. And a big thank you to everyone who took my bribe and push me over the hundred, YOU ROCK! -Tish**


	15. Chapter 14

**ANOTHER UPDATE! And thanx to Shaw, I no longer have to steal internet from poor Kim!! **

**Anyway, Thank you for the support and reviewing. Disclaimer: I don't own them!**

**--**

Edward.

"His parents?" I said, as calmly as my head would allow.

"Yep." they nodded sadly in unison.

"She went to meet his parents?" I clarified.

"Yep."

"What does that mean?" I asked, scared for their reply though I knew it would be coming.

_Usually means things are pretty serious._

"It's only been 3 weeks. How can things be serious!" I let out a frustrated growl. I was sitting on the couch crossed legged while my sisters sat studiously on the coffee table in front of me. They had been walking on egg shells around me all day.

And for good reason. I was about ready to break something.

"We thought we should warn you…" Rosalie started hesitantly.

_Bella's cooking for him tonight… here. _Of course they both had to think the important parts_. _My fingernails dug into my palms in an effort to keep my face passive.

"Oh." The rage and jealousy I had been suppressing these past 3 weeks wreaked havoc on my insides.

_He looks mad_. Rosalie thought.

_This is not going to end well_. Alice added helpfully.

Bella.

He was going to be here any minute. I rechecked my appearance in the mirror quickly. I had attempted to straighten my usually wavy hair but it still flowed wildly down my shoulders.

"You look beautiful dear." Esme said from the doorway, startling me. "Stop fretting."

"I'm really nervous Mom." I sighed turning back to my reflection, trying to see what she saw. I didn't usually call her by title, when I did she knew I meant buisness. She rushed to my side and gave me a gentle reassuring hug.

"This boy, you like him, do you?" she asked with motherly concern.

"I… I don't know. I think so."

Her smiling eyes met mine in the mirror and then I saw a flicker of doubt. She opened her mouth as if to say something but shut it again. I wondered what she knew that I didn't.

"What?" I asked playfully. I mentally prepared my self for some poetic yet confusing advice when my thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell.

"I believe your guest is here." I bounded down the stairs as fast as my legs would allow only to find Esme having beaten me to it. A knowing smile played on her lips. "You must be Lucas. I'm Esme, Isabella's adoptive Mom." She greeted mixing a hint of warning with her trademark hospitality.

Alice and Jasper joined us nodding their hellos.

It was a huge foyer but was starting to feel a little crowded when Emmett joined me on the stairs in a single excited bound. "You must be Bella's new beau." He said to Lucas. He sent me an evil wink.

"Don't." I said under my breathe so Lucas wouldn't be able to hear.

"Yeah. It's Lucas. You're Emmett, right?" he said reaching out his hand to shake, "I took up quarterback on varsity after you graduated." And as fast as Emmett had been in evil prank-pulling big brother mode he lapsed into macho football talk mode.

I moved away from the stairs while they talked some. Mostly Lucas trying to get on Emmett's good side by telling him how legendary he was. It appeared to be working.

Rose and Edward were whispering in an alcove just off the stairs. Edward tensed when he saw me looking at him. He had been so distant and sullen lately I didn't know what to make of it.

"I think we best be off." Carlisle said causing me to turn away from Edward. Carlisle was making a show of helping Esme on with her coat. "We have reservations at 7."

When I glanced back at the alcove, Edward was gone.

"Us too." Emmett said grabbing Rosalie's hand and moving for the door. "Movies."

I grabbed Luke's arm and headed for the kitchen.

"I'll be upstairs if you need anything Bella." Alice called from behind me, effectively letting Lucas know we weren't alone.

Pushing open the door that led to the kitchen I heard a small audible gasp from Lucas. It was to be expected given the kitchens impressive size. I walked toward the center island with the large built in sink and started washing vegetables. When I picked up a chopping knife Lucas put on a fearful face.

There was a rumour I tried to kill Amber Connelly in Home Ec. last year. All I did was drop a knife on her foot. In my house the rule is: no blood, no foul.

I heard the bar stool he was sitting on scrape the tile. However, I kept my attention on the task at hand.

"You're hair look really pretty like that," he said from closer then I expected. He brushed some of my hair away to expose my neck, "you know that?" his breath danced across my skin sending chills down my back. My brain started to fog up and my chopping became as erratic as my breathing.

His mouth made contact with my flesh leaving feather light trail of kisses from the base of my ear to my shoulder. I was about to let out a satisfied groan when he started to tickle me.

I shrieked in surprise and jumped a 180 toward him. He continued to dance his fingers along my sides while I laughed uncontrollably trying to protect my skin from his attacks. He stopped suddenly.

I looked up into his face; his eyes bore a hole through me. They were ablaze with desire. I tilted my chin towards his, placed a chaste kiss on his mouth and pulled back. He leaned in for another, then another; his tongue massaging my lower lip. I opened my mouth and let his pleasant scent envelope me. I showed no restraint when he gripped me closer with my back arched over the sink and his hands supporting my weight.

We were interrupted by the kitchen door swinging open and someone clearing their throat.

I quickly pushed Lucas away from me with my back still to the door.

_Please don't be Edward. Please don't be Edward_. I chanted to myself before turning around.

He was smiling. It had been a while since I'd seen his brilliant smile. I couldn't help but smile back, even though I was angry with him for interrupting.

"Edward?"

"What's for dinner?" he asked.

I'm sure my smile faded into a look of confusion.

"Huh?"

Edward.

He was in the house.

I felt as if the enemy had invaded. My very own Trojan Horse bent on taking me down.

Emmett was on the stairs next to Bella contemplating pranks that all ended with either her or _Lucas_ being mortally embarrassed. I voted for the latter but all of them when out the window when the human started him talking about football.

Plan B. I would have to do it myself. Make the human miserable.

"Hold it." Rose said putting her perfectly manicured hand on my chest and ushered me into the opposite wall.

"What?" I hissed.

"Don't," She said jabbing her finger into my chest "do anything to embarrass her tonight or I will have to hang you up myself."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Just. Don't. Do it." she jabbed me again, punctuating each word.

"Fine." I sighed rubbing the sore spot on my chest. "What were you going to do if you're husband had beat me to it?"

"Believe me," several graphic images filled my head, "he wasn't going to get very far."

The breeze from the opening door alerted me Bella was approaching. Her eyes met mine, freezing me like a deer in the headlights. She hadn't had to do anything in particular. She just had that effect on me.

She turned back to the door where Carlisle was saying goodnight to everyone before him and Esme departed. I had to get out of there.

I escaped to my bedroom up a different staircase. My mind trying to block out all the thoughts in the house. The boy's in particular. Every song I had to switch within a few seconds. They all reminded me of the one person I was struggling to keep my mind off of.

Bella's shriek rang through the house. I raced to see what the problem was. I paused at the kitchen door.

_Mine_.

His thoughts echoed in my head. I watched through his eyes as she leaned in to give him a kiss. She pulled away and stared back at him.

_She is so freaking HOT and she's only mine_. He leaned toward her and slid his hands up her back.

I braced myself on the door while I watch this intimate moment that was not my own. I couldn't look away. He placed his lips against hers harder then, deepening the kiss,

_I wonder how dedicated she is to having dinner_. He thought to himself. Visions of Bella in different stages of undress assaulted me. _I need to make her mine_. She whimpered slightly against his mouth. _That's it_. _Direct me to the bedroom, now_!

I opened the door forcing the largest smile I could manage. She jumped away from him and spun around while fixing her hair.

Jealously flared in my belly when I took in her swollen lips and flushed cheeks. In that moment I wanted nothing more then to be the man to have put her in that state. That was an impossibility.

After a moment she smiled back at me. A genuine one, unlike my own. "Edward?"

As nonchalantly as possible I asked the question that would seal my fate.

"What's for dinner?"

Lucas's thoughts reflected those of disappointment. Bella's smile faded to a look of confusion. "Huh?" Then… there it was. Anger.

Too bad there was no way I would be leaving him alone with her that night.

Bella.

We sat in silence throughout dinner except for Lucas muttering his compliments to the chef. Edward quickly followed suit, though I'm sure it tasted worse then dirt to him.

The soft light in the dining room danced off of Edwards pale skin. I looked from him to Luke. In comparison, Luke wasn't nearly as good looking. Edward had a stronger chin and brow. Lucas was more soft looking. Then again it might have been the weird glares Edward kept shooting at him.

I was showing Luke to the door and Edward followed us.

"It was nice seeing you again, Edward." Lucas said by means of dismissal. Edward nodded his acknowledgment but didn't look to be leaving us alone anytime soon.

"Night Lucas." I said giving him a peck on the cheek. He had a look of longing on his face as he retreated to his car.

I turned a furious stare on Edward. _What was he playing at_?

"What are you doing?" I yelled.

Jasper, who had been coming down the hallway, turned back the way he came after one look at my murderous expression.

Edward looked like he was going to be sick.

"Would you excuse me a minute?" He asked. His face was more pale than usual.

I had no sympathy for him.

"One." I sneered and went to wait in his bedroom.

Edward.

The look on her face struck fear in my soul… if I had one, that is. I took my time in the washroom; delaying the inevitable.

_What on earth were you thinking_? I asked myself.

She was pacing in my bedroom. _What can I say to fix this_.

I opened the door and went straight to my couch. Flopping face first into the cushions and making a show of holding my stomach.

"What on earth were you thinking?" she voiced my own question.

"I was thinking about you." I replied truthfully.

"Was I in danger? Did Alice see something? Lucas wouldn't have left in one piece if that was the case. So? What was it?"

I sat up straight and took in her stance.

Hands on her hips. Not good.

Fire in the eyes. Hot. But also not good.

"I thought I was doing you a favour." Lie "You have no idea what he was thinking. I was protecting you."

Her face was red. Not the pleasant blush I loved but red with anger.

"I HAD EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL."

"UNDER CONTROL." I yelled back at her. "Under control. He's an 18 year old boy." I stressed the word 'boy', "he had one thing on his mind tonight and it wasn't mushroom ravioli!"

"I'm responsible Edward." She threw back at me. "I think I can handle a '_boys_' advances. At least he doesn't act like a controlling brat of a best friend. At least he's a _**boy**_ that likes me for who I am and not how good my blood smells!"

I had been in emotional turmoil for weeks because I learned she could never be truly mine. Did she really believe so little in me.

Her blood?

I didn't want her blood. I wanted her. I wanted her to know that she was all I ever wanted.

"Bella, I…"

"Save it Edward." She interrupted me. She started to turn away only pausing in the door way. "While you're at it you can stop doing me favours or saving me from boys. The only one I need saving from right now is you."

And she was gone…

--

**I so didn't intend to do that scene so… in depth. I don't know if it was necessary. That was CHAPTER #4 journal entry. I wrote up the next chapter and I only got through chap 5's journal. EEEK. I hope it's not to slow or redundant. I'm trying to work with some new material. I didn't like this chapter that much but the next one is A.maz.in. If I do say so myself.**

**Not that I believe you guys need encouraging BUT since the next Chapter is done, I can give reviewer's a small teaser. Thanks to those who review even w/o the encouragment. I Luv You All. NathalieCullen13 is a reviewing star!**


	16. Chapter 15

**Hey guys. Loving the reviews. Still don't own anything.**

**You wanna know what makes me mad. I have a lot of people just hit the first chapter and then don't read more. I know this happens to every story but I think the journal entries scare people away. Thank YOU for giving it a chance.**

Edward.

My attempts to keep Bella safe last week were futile. Not only had I pushed her away from myself, I had pushed her right into his arms. She hasn't spoken to me in a week. Living under the same roof had been serving as much a slow torture as it had a comfort. I was miserable.

I looked down at the costume Alice picked out for me.

"I look ridiculous." I said resentfully to no one in particular.

Bella.

I missed him. All I wanted was to make up but whenever I saw him he went the other way. Sure I was mad, but I had never before gone a couple hours without talking to him, let alone a week. I was miserable.

My only comfort was Lucas. I couldn't exactly tell him why I was upset but he comforted me anyway.

I looked down at my costume. Green and silver tulle stuck out in all directions, barely covering my essentials. A similarly revealing piece of fabric covered my top. Alice insisted it was 'very Tink'.

"I look ridiculous." I sighed to no one in particular.

Edward.

I didn't bother leaving with my family for the dance. It would only have made things unnecessarily uncomfortable.

"Come in, Mom." I called before there was a knock on my door. It opened slightly, letting a small sliver of light in the dark room.

"You look… dashing."

"Thank you." I steadied the sword on my hip before placing a kiss on her cheek.

"You heading out now?"

"I am."

"Would you do me a favour tonight?" she asked with a smile. Her thoughts gave no hint as to what she wanted from me.

"For you? Of course."

"Ask her to dance."

"Mom."

"You said!"

"That I did." I conceded.

"I only want you to be happy." And she did. It was the only thing she ever wanted. I considered her request for a moment.

_One dance_…

Who could it hurt? Other than me of course. I would keep the masque on and Bella would be none the wiser.

"Me too." _Happy_?

Bella.

We opened the doors to strobe lights, bad food, and worse music.

"Here we go." I squeezed Luke's hand, more to reassure myself I wasn't alone, than anything else. We choose a free space of wall and everyone came to us. My family was off to do their own thing but all of Lucas friends came to greet him.

All of them said hi to me but probably only because I was on his arm.

"I'm going to grab us some drinks." He left with a kiss on my hand to which all of his friends let out a chorus of 'awes'.

As soon as he was gone a frizzy haired freshman asked me for a dance. I declined politely and slightly confused.

Then 3 guys from the football team asked as well confusing me further. They probably only asked me because they were Lucas's friends and being nice. Not wishing that fate on anyone I said no to them as well. They left me after an awkward silence.

I looked around for a familiar face but my family all seemed to have disappeared.

That's when I saw him.

He wore a gold mask and long royal blue coat with a sword. He could have any girl in the school be putty in his hands.

And he was walking my way. I must have been caught staring.

I was about to open my mouth to apologize when he bowed down low and offered his hand. _Oh no_. He wanted me to dance. He gestured again for me to take it. Instead of declining as my mind was screaming for me to do, I reached out my hand and took his.

My hand felt alive with one touch. All my senses were heightened. This stranger caused such a physical reaction from me I scarcely noticed as we floated toward the dance floor. The song changed as if for this moment. The tacky strobe light changed into a soft sparkling wonderland. It was enchanting.

Edward.

I opened both doors to the gym. A couple of girls close by noticed my entrance and started appraising me. Moving away quickly I narrowly avoided their advances. Besides, I was only looking for one girl. The one I couldn't have.

"Would you like to dance Bella?" A boy asked by the north wall. I picked her voice out of the crowd with ease.

"No, err, thanks anyway." She replied shyly. Now was my chance.

It wasn't long before I caught sight of her. Taking it all in, her scantily clad body that was well toned. Her pale skin glowing in the poor lighting and contrasting marvellously with her costume. Her cheeks shimmered nearly as much as the wings on her back.

And her eyes were… looking at me.

She noticed me. My masque mustn't have done anything to hide my identity. I looked closer at her expression which I had trouble identifying.

Was that… lust? I felt a swell of pride that I could cause that reaction from her. I took a step closer and her gaze locked on mine. I took another step closer to her. She didn't seem to recognize me. She actually looked ashamed for being caught.

_Is she ashamed she was caught looking at me?_

I couldn't have her ashamed for something that made me feel so joyous. I was in front of her now and bowed, offering her my hand.

She looked as if she was about to decline. When her hand touched mine, my heart felt lighter. I felt as if I could fly with the current that ran through my being.

We drifted, hand in hand, to the center of the dance floor. The music changed abruptly. On the stage I saw my sister had convinced the DJ to change it to something more suitable. She smile down on us widely.

I pulled my angel close. One hand on the small of her back and the other still holding her hand. Her smell wafted in my face and my body acted of its own accord. I bent my face to the crook of her neck and took a deep breath of her intoxicating aroma.

She relaxed some and rested her head on my shoulder. We moved with grace through the crowd.

_I am going to kill that guy_. I heard Lucas's thoughts. Bella tensed in my arms and I knew she had to have seen him.

_And then I'm going to punish her for doing this to me_.

Before I could react she dashed out of my arms and after him.

"Bella." I called after her. She didn't hear me.

"Alice. Jasper." My sister nodded her head to me and rushed from the gym with Jasper in tow.

I couldn't bring myself to follow.

Bella.

Lucas looked livid. The whimsical feeling Prince Charming had left me with was all but forgotten. "Lucas!" I called, bursting through the gym doors into the hallway. Only the first section was lighted. He had gone well beyond, into the darkened bowels of the school.

"She means the world to me. I put her on a pedestal and this is how I'm treated in return." His muttering echoed back to me. Every sentence was followed by a string of profanities.

"She's mine. Who does he think he is??"

_Mine? What?_

"Let _him _have his hands all over her…"

I wondered momentarily if he knew I was behind him. He stopped in his tracks and faced me holding out an accusing finger.

"You." He pushed me violently back into a locker. My head cracked against it hard. "You slut."

"You ungrateful," he punched the locker by my head, "bitchy," he punched it again breaking open it and his knuckles, "SLUT."

The smell of blood made me feel faint.

He wound up again and aimed. This time for my face. I flinched in anticipation of an impact that never came. Alice caught his hand mid follow through. Lucas was caught off guard. She threw him across the hall so fast his body made a whooshing sound. Sliding down the wall opposite me, he landed on the floor, unconscious with an audible thud. It all happened so fast.

I was in shock. I wasn't afraid, my body was frozen in place trying to process the nights events. Jasper was standing guard at the end of the hall. Alice stood in front of me awaiting my reaction.

Then it hit me.

There wasn't anything to fear, I just had to cry. Alice wrapped her small frame around me and we sank in a collective heap to the floor. I barely noticed her placing me in the backseat of the car, or her whispered phone call in the front seat, or being taken up into my room. I only knew how alone I felt.

I didn't have my best friend. He was the only thing that might have helped me get through this.

The was a small knock on my door. Probably Edward come to gloat. "If you've come to say I told you so, I don't want to hear it."

My door opened slightly shedding light on my bed. There, silhouetted in the doorway, was Prince Charming. He took a step further into the room.

"Edward."

Edward.

I clicked my phone shut after telling Alice I'd be home right away. Down at my feet lay Lucas, still unconscious where I found him.

He was close to coming back around.

"What are we going to do with him?" Rose asked coming up beside me. She wanted vengeance nearly as much as I did. Emmett had gone to get the car so there was no one there to keep us in check.

I bent down to get a better look at his face. "Bella…" he mumbled in his stupor. I was seething. He had no right to let that name pass his lips.

"Believe me when I say," I whispered close to his ear, " it would be easy to squish you like the insect that you are." Standing up straight I brush off my knees.

"But I won't."

Rose shrieked, "WHAT?! After what he did to Bella."

"And stoop to his level."

_Why not_?

"Because he's not worth it." I sighed and turned towards the doors Emmett was waiting outside of. All I really needed then was Bella. If she'd have me.

OOoOoOo

Ignoring the entire family I went directly to Bella's room. Emmett and Rose would be able to field all the 'What happened?' questions.

Her quiet sobs came through the door. It took all of my control not to go back and pummel the #/ for making her cry. I knocked.

"If you've come to say I told you so, I don't want to hear it."

I opened the door, fearful she might send me away.

"Be nice." Alice called. My emotion were torn between wanting to hold Bella and going back to… _Bella._

We stared at each other in silence. Words weren't necessary. In those precious moments she was forgiving me and I was hoping to be Bella & Edward again. _Please_.

"Edward." She sobbed her arms outstretched begging me to come closer. I instantly pulled her close. Sobs racked her body again and tears fell freely down her face.

Pulling her away from my body, I brushed the hair back from her face. Even being red and splotchy, she looked glorious. Her face fit in my palms and I pulled her close again. I kissed each cheek and wished no tears would ever fall on them again. She didn't shy away from my touch, instead she pulled me down with her to the bed.

She rolled to her side draping my arm down the length of her body. Her costume crinkled loudly under my hand in the quiet of her room. My body was flush with hers, my face in her hair. I listened as her breathing became even and she sighed contentedly.

"Sweet Dreams, Bella."

--

**I really hope you liked this chapter as much as I do. (Tried to keep the pronouns to a minimum) Have you ever heard the song _He Said, She Said_ by Socail Code? I feel like I sound like that sometimes. Good Song... even has a little to do with the story. LOTS of pronouns... you know who you are.**

_PLEASE REVIEW!_


	17. Chapter 16

**Hey guys. This is Chapter 6-9. I was going to add most of the Forks chapters but the Jacob parts needed work cause some people were confused and the Edward parts are new because he didn't spend a lot of time with Bella. But the kiss is totally HOT. And then there will be new stuff including our mystery voice. Wow I sound like a bad commercial for a soap opera!**

**Thanks for reviewing. Steph's characters. _Disclaimed._**

Bella.

"No. No. No." Alice scanned one outfit and moved on to the next in quick succession. "Plain. Pretty. Yours!"

I marvelled at how fast she was able to flip through the racks of clothes, even with her vampire reflexes. She threw the 'yours', a white and blue halter, on top of the mountain Jasper was already carrying.

"This really isn't necessary." I said for the hundredth time today.

"You just had a bad break-up. You need a bad break-up wardrobe." She sighed exasperated. Jasper rolled his eye dramatically with the mountain shielding him from Alice's view.

"I saw that." She quipped.

"I'm fine!" Everyone was convinced I should have been in worse shape, but given mine and Edward's truce I really was fine.

Too bad he had been MIA since. "Where's Edward?" I asked Jasper, trying my best not to sound too eager. "Shouldn't he be here carrying the _other_ half of the store?" His passive shrug and aversion from any eye contact wasn't comforting. I was about to press the matter when my phone went off.

**I miss U. Cum C me**. -Lucas

I instantly pressed delete. It wasn't much different from the other 8 messages I had received since leaving the house. Alice appeared at my elbow, her brow arched in question.

"Fine?" she asked incredulous.

"YES. Can't you see that?"

After a moments deliberation she replied, "Yep, but you're still getting a new wardrobe."

My groan echoed throughout the store in unison with Jasper's. We were in for a long day.

Edward.

White picket fence. Check.

Extreme coloured door on picturesque white house. Check.

Swing hanging from ancient tree in yard. Check.

Prick inside the house in need of beat down. Check.

I lifted my arm to knock on his door, careful not to accidentally reduce it to splinters. Bella's phone had rang incessantly since Halloween. I didn't have to ask her to know who it was. Lucas answered. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and his hair was in disarray. He smelled as if he hadn't bathed since the night in question.

I put on as welcoming a smile as I could manage to gain invitation.

His eyes widened when he saw me.

"Oh Thank God." He screamed. Not the reaction I had expected. I also didn't expect him to grab my arm and drag me in the house slamming the door behind us. "This way," He walked off in the direction of his room. It looked as if a bomb went off inside.

"Okay, what did she say?" _Why did she have to send her brother? I wish she would have just come herself_.

"Huh?" I was having trouble following. There were very few things I wanted less then to be in his room. I was only here to stop the incesent messages.

His impatience was growing on his face. "What did she tell you ...to tell me?"

_Oh_. The temper I was already having trouble reigning in flared. The human boy was under the impression Bella would forgive him. "I think you misunderstand my presence here." I growled. Lucas looked confused followed up with his shoulders slumping in defeat when he realized I was here of my own accord.

"She didn't send you?"

"No."

"Why won't she talk to me?" _We just had a small misunderstanding. It's not like she didn't deserve it_. The last part was sneered in his head. He tried to keep his face passive as his anger mounted. **HE** was angry with **HER**.

I lost it.

Before my brain caught up with my actions I had Lucas pinned against the wall. I narrowly avoided the small amount of light coming in from the window.

"Listen to me," I hissed through my teeth, increasing the pressure I had against his throat with my forearm, "because I'm only going to say this once." The feral look I wore was having the desired effect. His fear was evident by the look on his face and his incoherent internal ramblings.

"You will NOT." I pulled back and pushed him back into the wall again, "Text," I pushed again, "Call, email, let alone think..." I put the other arm through his wall an inch from his head. When I pulled my hand from the wall plaster and concrete rained down to the floor. "...about her again."

I examined my unharmed hand thinking about how easily it could have been his fragile skull. I was no better than him.

"Do you understand?" I asked solemn, still watching my hand. When he didn't answer I turned my attentions back on him. Tears stained his face. I hit the wall again, lighter this time but the window managed to crack with the stain on the wall. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" I insisted louder.

_I understand. I understand_. His mind whimpered though he couldn't bring himself to words.

I released him and ran my hands through my hair. Outside the door his mother was coming to investigate the foreign sounds.

"Wh...what-- are you?" The 'what' caught my attention.

"You don't want to know."

Using my vampire speed I exited through the broken window. Lucas meant it when he agreed to stay away. Now the only person I had to protect Bella from was myself.

oOoOoOo

Bella.

This Lucas thing had left me more confused than I thought. I was having identity issues with nowhere to turn. Edward was avoiding me and any question I asked the family they didn't have many answers for.

_Charlie Swan, Washington_

Google was the only source left to turn to. A police head shot popped up with a brief commendation to his service and an even briefer description of his demise.

Nothing turned up on my mother except for being mentioned in the same article.

hmmm... Related Links.

_Missing: Isabella Marie Swan_

There I was. Staring out at myself. A grainy picture of my 5 year old self and a scarily accurate projection of what I might have looked like at 13. Below that picture was another person I recognized.

"Edward." The name passed through my lips before I had the mind to stop it. The caption read:

_Depiction of young kidnapper as describe by murderer in  
tragic mugging gone bad. If you have any information..._

I felt a tingling sensation on the back of my neck. Turning back to my door his amber eyes bore into mine. He looked so tortured I wanted to reach out and comfort him.

I readied myself to say something but he retreated faster than any words would come.

Edward.

"Where to now?" Emmett asked from the opposite end of the couch I was sitting. Rosalie sat on his lap playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Bella sat in an armchair across from them too preoccupied with her pyjama strings to pay attention.

_Kidnapped_. The word ran through my head again. I hadn't thought about it like that in years. Essentially I guess that's how it was.

I wonder if she saw it that way.

Alice sat by the coffee table equally as preoccupied reciting every Dr Seuss rhyme she could recall in German. The made up word made translating more difficult but she managed.

She had to have already known where we were going and judging by the lengths she was taking to keep it from me; I wasn't going to like it.

"I think its Esme turn to decide." Rose said. She was crossing her finger for Russia again. If it was Esme's turn to decide I couldn't possibly have much to worry about.

"Don't be silly," she tutted, "You all know I'm happy to be wherever you are." She was always so selfless. Carlisle laughed and kissed her lightly. I cursed her on this occasion for the same quality I was usually so thankful for.

"I guess that means it's Bella's turn to decide."

She started at the sound of her name. Up until now she mustn't have been following. "I'm sorry, what happened?"

"It's your turn to decide." Alice stated catching Bella's eyes. They stared intently at one another for a long moment before Alice nodded. Bella's heart rate sped up but she maintained a calm exterior. She to nodded, mostly to herself. It didn't matter where she chose as I was sure to follow. She glanced my direction before speaking.

"I want to go to Forks, Washington."

And my world came crashing down around me.

Bella.

The moment of truth. I looked back to Edward to gauge his reaction.

"I want to go to Forks, Washington."

He tensed. If it had of been possible I would have sworn he grew a few shades paler, I watched closely to see if he would blink or twitch but for all I could tell he may as well have been a statue.

Someone cleared their throat breaking me from my trance. Edward still didn't move.

"Washington?" Rosalie asked in disgust. "But it's so... Washington."

"It's her choice." Alice said with an air of finality. She was looking at Rose when she said it, but I figure she was defending my decision to Edward as well.

"Washington." Carlisle piped in repeating the name again as if anyone might have missed it. He put on a forced airy smile while everyone else faces were a mixture of hurt or confusion.

"Yes." I said wishing my voice sounded as sure as Alice's had a moment earlier.

"If you don't mind my asking. Why exactly?" he asked.

I looked back to Edward. He still hadn't moved and I started to worry. I was hoping if anyone, he might support my decision. It didn't look like that was the case.

"I need to see where I came from before I know where I'm going." It sounded like a riddle in my own ears but Carlisle nodded as if I had made sense. Edward's statuesque posture didn't change but pain flashed behind his eyes. Esme reached out and placed a comforting hand gingerly on my forearm. "That's beautiful, dear." She smiled. Her eyes also reflected a touch of sadness.

"We'll have the arrangement taken care of as soon as possible." The couple stood to leave. Carlisle stopped and turned back to the 6 of us that remained seated. "How about an extended Christmas vacation first? You all deserve a break."

"Definitely." Edward was quick to agree, speaking for the first time. He pressed his lips into a thin line and looked back to me. "Let's."

oOoOoOo

An uneventful New York Christmas became an uneventful New Year's as Edward insisted we stay for the dropping of the ball. We all dressed to the nines and rang in the New Year in style. The whole week my anticipation had been building.

I was going... home doesn't seem like the right description. Potential Home. It had the potential to have been my home if my life had been drastically different. Maybe it was my future.

Montana's landscape flew past my window. Edward had opted to drive across country rather then fly. On long trips like this one, we always rode together. Just me and him on the open road. It was harder for him to avoid me this way so I just sat blissfully content in the passenger seat.

He stared out the window in deep concentration but his mind didn't appear to be on the road. I couldn't help but feel guilty for my good mood when he obviously wasn't.

"Are you okay?" I asked trying to break the silence. The skin on his knuckles was pulled tight.

"I'm fine." he lied. His face gave way little to his emotions but his eyes couldn't lie. I placed a comforting hand on his knee, rubbing smooth circles with my thumb.

"Liar."

A small smile gave way to his crooked grin. We rode in companionable silence across the state line.

_Welcome to the State of Washington_

"We're here." I sighed leaning over the consul to rest my head on his shoulder my arm still resting down the length of his thigh.

"Oh joy." was Edward's reply.

---

**I read these books you guys might like or have already read... but if you like Twilight. I'm not saying their a lot alike or anything. Lots of angst, A LOT more action and some more hot vampires to drool over. ANYWAY, _The Cassie Palmer Series by Karen Chance; _the first book is called Touch the Dark. **

Next update soon!


	18. Chapter 17

**This is really long and I think I could have edited more so please forgive any errors. Mostly grammar. Roll eyes.**

**I'm so looking forward to your reaction so don't leave me hanging. YOU NEED TO REVIEW. If you can click the alert button you can click the review button... it's the same one. This chapter deserves it, i think... maybe.**

Edward.

It was a risk coming here. We all knew that, maybe myself more than anyone, but Bella wanted to touch base with her roots. Alice didn't foresee any problems with our being here. She actually can't see much of anything happening in quiet Forks.

_Why not?_ I thought spitefully from the backseat of Carlisle's Mercedes. _It's just Forks. Blah Blah Blah_. We were waiting in the parking lot outside the cemetery while Bella went on ahead. I allowed her this private moment after holding her hand on the ride over. I wondered if she knew it was shaking.

"I hope she's okay." Esme said from the passenger seat. Her knee bounced nervously as she stared at the wrought iron gate before us. Every couple of seconds she would check her make-up, smooth her dress or fuss with the flowers she brought.

My ears pricked at the sound of Bella's clumsy running. I cracked open the car door letting the crisp air fill my lungs. Her diluted scent hung in the air. After getting out I nodded back at Emmett's Jeep and everyone else followed suit.

Slowly we proceeded to the Swan's graveside.

The path was seared into my brain. I had visited their resting place not long before we left. Memories flooded my head, the smell of freshly disturbed earth being the most predominant. The dirt in question had long since been packed and grown over. Bella's flowers were thrown haphazardly next to the vase which held fresh cut wild flowers.

_Poor Bella_. Esme worried as she had been all morning. She fixed Bella's flowers and placed hers neatly close by.

"You have a marvellous daughter." She whispered to Renee's headstone and placed a kiss on the cold polished granite, as if she was an old friend. I felt as if I was intruding on her private moment. Rose and Alice stepped forward as well placing a single rose each on top of Esme's bouquet.

I glanced around at my family's sad faces as they paid their respects. The irony didn't escape me that we were standing around Bella's 'real' family.

Her strangled cry came from the distance. The sound she made may have been an attempt at words but came out in a jumbled mess. I flew over any obstacles the headstones might have presented in an effort to get to her. When I found her, she was rocking back and forth in front of a mausoleum, sobbing.

"Where...do—I belong?"

Her face was so torn and lost my heart broke at the sight of her. The words she sobbed cut me deep. I knew where she belonged, even if I had to remind her.

"You belong with us," I wrapped my arms around her quivering frame. She threw herself into my embrace with abandon.

"With me," I whispered as an afterthought.

_You belong with me_.

Bella.

My shopping basket was overflowing.

Note to Self: Never do junk food aisle first... without a cart.

For some reason I also went down the 'baking needs' aisle even though Esme was the only one to ever open the flour canister. It only served to prove how out of it I was. The few days since arriving in Forks I have been all over the emotional map. My thoughts trailed elsewhere as I turned down the next one.

Special K. No.  
Cheerio's. No.  
Cinnamon Toast Crunch. No.

Lucky Cha...

In my daze I ran into something hard. My basket swung back nearly pulling me over with its contents.

Ow. _Nope. They're so not lucky_. I thought as I lost my balance. Thankfully the hard something reached out to catch me. I looked up to see my saviour; a gorgeous 6 foot something with dark skin, darker hair and a sparkling white smile_. Might have to rethink the Lucky Charms_.

"Thank you," I practically whispered in my stunned state. Once I was righted he didn't let go of his strong grasp on my arm. I momentarily worried if the arm might bruise where he caught me.

"You smell... off." He said; scrunching up his nose with a look of confusion painted on his face. "And you're warm!?" His ear pricked up as if listening for something I couldn't hear. The only thing I could hear was my pulse beating so loud I wouldn't have been surprised if he could too.

_Nah_.

"Well aren't you observant!" I casually quipped snatching my arm back. His touch actually was searing, which I hadn't realized until I felt its absence. "And hot yourself." He looked at me like he thought I might be special, as if he wasn't the one that just gave me an update on how I smell.

A heartbreaking grin broke out and his face, "Well," he said flipping his long hair over his behind his shoulder dramatically, "I do have that effect on the ladies."

"That's nice." I ducked my head and started to move past him down the aisle.

"Wait," he called, stopping me in front of the Count Chocula. I turned around so fast I almost ran into him again. "I'm Jacob, Jacob Black" he stuck out his hand. I had to awkwardly juggle my armload to take his huge warm hand in mine. He looked to be at least 23 but still had some boyish features.

"Marie."

I had started moving away again when he piped up.

"Hope I _bump_ into you again—Marie."

I let out a sarcastic laugh and made my way to the front. I couldn't help the goofy smile that spread across my face. Jacob's brief encounter made me feel at ease as I hadn't since visiting my parents. Nearing the end of the aisle I passed an older native gentleman in a wheelchair and gave him a happy nod.

There was a till right in front of me with no line. Score. This couldn't get any better.

"Isabella."

I turned toward my name absently. Wait.

In the middle of the aisle was the older guy staring with wide eyes at me and a very confused looking Jacob. My first instinct was to run.

And I did.

Edward.

I ran the conversation over and over in my head from the events of earlier today. I was ashamed of how I reacted when Carlisle told me the news. It seemed Emmett and Jasper crossed a werewolf path while they were hunting for small game in the area. I didn't take it too well.

"_You assured me last time we were here they were extinct!" I screamed loudly._

"_And I believed them to be. Besides they shouldn't be anything to worry about. Yet."_

"_Yet?!? What about the treaty? I can't have Bella here if there are wild dogs about. They might confuse her for one of us and attack her."_

_Carlisle stayed calm and serene as I yelled openly. "Their memories might not be as good as ours; we will have to ensure the treaty is still intact. Emmett and Jasper say their scent sticks mostly to the boundaries."_

_I scoffed loudly. "So you'll assure me her safety then?"_

_He let out a humourless laugh. It wasn't often Carlisle's patience grew thin with me. "Bella could hardly assure you that herself on the best of days."_

"_We'll go to the boundary tomorrow, that's final."_

"_Fine. What..."_

A floor board creaked in the hall breaking me out of my memories. I listened closely to hear Bella's shallow breathing. She was trying to sneak up on me. I tried to keep a distant look on my face. When she was half way across the room I could hide my smile no longer.

"How long have you known I was here?" She asked moving at a normal pace now to plop down on the bench next to me.

"You were still in the hallway." I laughed as she let out a disappointed huff.

"I wish I were a vampire..." my laugh stopped short and all the unnecessary air in my lungs constricted, "so then I'd be the only one who could sneak up on you!" She was giggling at her own joke but stopped when she saw what I'm sure was my horror stricken face.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her playful demeanour lapsing into one of worry.

I quickly washed my feature of emotion.

"What... oh nothing." She seemed to believe me and put on a lazy smile.

"You know what I haven't heard in forever?" She lifted the cover off the keys and gently nudged my shoulder with hers. I placed my fingers on the appropriate keys without any further encouragement. She rested her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes letting the music, her music, envelope us.

"That's the one."

Bella.

I was going stir crazy in that house. I needed out. There was a used bookstore in town that I could check out. We weren't going to sign up for school for another week in case some problems should arise. As long I didn't run into Jacob, I couldn't see any.

Help Wanted. There's a job I would love. Also another thing I would have to wait for... just in case.

I took a deep whiff upon entering the shop. It was quaint. I wondered how many time the books had made their way around in a small town like this.

"Welcome to the Book Nook. How are you today?"

"Great," I replied eagerly, taking in the girl behind the counter for the first time. She was pretty in a conservative way and looked as welcoming as she sounded. "You?" I asked genuinely curious.

"Bored," she admonished. I looked around once again and realized that it was quaint... and empty.

"Poor girl. I was actually looking at the Help Wanted sign. I might be in the market for a new job soon enough. I could keep you company."

She visibly brightened and started talking up the pros of working in a book store. We had similar taste in books and found an endless list of them to talk about. "Bye Angela," I called as I left the store. I was in desperate need of a caffeine fix. Luckily enough there was a coffee shop down the block.

Once again I was assaulted by another of my favourite smells when I entered the warm cafe, espresso. There was no line so I waited patiently for my order, all thoughts of Jacob Black gone from my head. That's when I was tapped gently on the shoulder. _Well that didn't take long_.

"Hello Isabella or do you still prefer to be called Bella?"

He looked sad. "Only if I can call you Jake."

Edward.

"Uley?" Carlisle questioned. Jasper and I flanked him loosely as this 'Sam' spoke with Carlisle. On either side of Sam there were two wolves flanking him in a similar fashion. Their stances appeared to be more ready to attack then ours.

They were young and reckless. I would have to keep a close eye on Bella with these guys around.

"I remember the name. Fascinating, I heard rumours of the condition being hereditary but..."

"Carlisle." Jasper and I hissed in unison. Both of us were getting antsier as the young wolves before us thoughts and feelings messed with our own.

"Right. Sorry." He apologized. "We're all here for the same reason. I assume we still have an understanding."

"We will honour our ancestors' treaty so long as you abide by it unlike those human drinkers we had around here a while back"

"Human drinkers?" Carlisle asked. A phrase that sparked my curiosity as well.

"Yes, they were the ones that induced our changes." Sam's eyes opened wide at his own words as he wouldn't normally have shared them out loud. He was having trouble understanding why he all of a sudden felt very forth coming. I nodded imperceptibly to my talented brother. Instead of risking opening his mouth again the pack leader remained tight lipped. _We got one. If only the other 2 hadn't got away_.

I gave another short nod for Carlisle to confirm we had got what we needed.

"I'm curious though," Carlisle continued as I was mid step turning away, "What about the Blacks? Did Billy never have a son?"

_Jake. Ha. Probably found your Isabelle by now_.

A growl ripped through the air causing the two wolves to pull back on their haunches, ready to pounce.

"EDWARD." Carlisle broke the murderous fog that was clouding my vision.

"They-- they have Bella." I stammered. Sam looked back at me stunned trying to figure out what just happened.

"Go." Was all Carlisle said but I was gone before he could even finish the word.

Bella.

"You don't remember me, do you?" He asked.

The guilt I felt at the sadness in his eyes caused me to look away. He grabbed my chin gently urging my gaze to meet his. When it did his eyes were pleading. "Let me remind you."

All I could manage was a curt nod.

This was what I wanted. I wanted someone to fill in the missing pieces. Why, when someone offers me the chance, am I so nervous?

He led me by the small of my back out to a bulbous truck. I looked at the chipped red paint, old panaramic windshield and cracked seats smiling. It was so refreshing compared to the fast aerodynamic monstrosities my family drives. I looked over at his expression which was one of distain, a sharp contrast to my own.

"Hop in."

He drove not far out of town before taking the turn off to the reservation. Each minute he seemed to get tenser and tenser. The tenth time he looked in the review I asked if he was expecting someone. He didn't find it nearly as funny as I did. Then all of a sudden he relaxed. Some invisible barrier was breached and he was Jake again. I didn't push the matter.

We pulled up in front of a small rickety house just as his father William, aka Billy, came out.

"Hiya Bella, nice to finally see you again." He greeted me warmly. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "Right this way."

Edward.

"Where is she?" I chanted while pacing the boundary line on the road to La Push.

My phone chirped loudly in my pocket.

"What Alice?" I barked.

"Don't you even think about crossing that line. Everything is blurry enough as it is." She scolded.

"Blurry!?"

"Just don't do it. I can't see them." She sounded frustrated. "I can't see the wolves."

"Great. That's just great."

Bella.

They left me in the living room alone. I had nothing to do but snoop. Pictures lined the mantel. There was one of a girl that must have been Jakes sister. A few were of Jake; one was a school picture that said last year in the top corner though he didn't look any older than 15. It must have been a typo. At the other end there were two that caught my attention. There was one of a small me and Jacob. I rubbed a finger down our smiling faces. Another was of me crawling on my parents; tears sprung to my eyes as I hugged it to my chest.

"It's yours to keep." Billy said rolling up behind me with a large filing box in his lap. He lifted it with little difficulty that was disproportional to the crashing sound it made when landing on the coffee table.

'**Bella**' was scrawled messily across the front. He told me to keep what I wanted. Jake kept me company while I selected some folders to go through. I already had a few picture and my real birth certificate in a small stack.

"This is one of my earliest memories." He said holding up the picture of us. "Right before you were..." He looked at me cautiously before continuing. "You were 6 and I was 5."

"You're only 16?" A smile crossed his features. I shrugged it off. Of all the weird things that happened today I wasn't going to get upset about man/boy. "Whatever."

A label peaked out from midway through the box. 'Cullen'.

I held my breath as I pulled it out shooting glances at an oblivious Jake. As quickly as I could manage I shoved it into the middle of my pile.

"Well I guess I should be going." I stood and straightened all my papers effectively hiding the folder I felt very protective over. It all fit into my book bag. "Thanks Billy." I called grabbing Jake's wrist to head out.

Somehow the old man had beaten us to the door. "Bella, you don't have to go back to them." He pleaded. I tried my best 'i don't know what you're talking about' smile before bustling past.

"Where to?" asked _grumpy_ Jake having made a triumphant return.

"My cars back in town."

He put the car into drive and sped off without a word. It wasn't far down the road before he let out a short humourless laugh and slowed the car to a stop. With my frayed nerves and an excessivly emotional state, the one guy that could help me stood right out front the window. "Edward."

I jumped out of the car to ran to him before Jake even had the truck in park. I only slowed down when I noticed his tense posture and livid expression. Tears were brimming my eyes as I came to a stop before him.

"Can we go home now?" I choked. He looked as if he wanted to reach out and comfort me but there was a wall preventing his arms from moving.

"Get in the car Bella." He said through clenched teeth. I didn't want to leave Jake alone with him.

"Okay, let's go."

"I need to have a small chat with the wolf you just spent the day with first." I shook my head no, somewhat confused.

"GET IN THE CAR. NOW." He yelled. There was no arguing this time as I dashed off towards the passenger seat.

Edward.

_Stupid bloodsucker can't tell her what to do_. The mongrels skin was twitching as if he were having trouble in this form.

"So...How'd it go?" he asked.

"How'd what go?" I asked having more trouble then him to keep my voice steady.

"I assume because your not a pile of ash that the treaty is still in place." _Oh_.

"Ha. Me a pile of ash? You spoken with your pack yet. Whose to say they aren't a pile of broken limbs?" A momentary flash of doubt crossed wolf boys face before a cocky grin replaced it.

_Gotta change to check on the guys. Hope we can wrap this up fast_. "Don't test me."

"Fine," I hissed at him, "so long as you don't test me. Leave Bella alone."

_Bella? and the leech? _Thoughts of Bella flitted through his mind. He liked her, felt a connection with her. Wanted more.

"Can't promise she'll leave me alone."

The invisible line between us felt like the only thing preventing me from ripping his head from his shoulders. I glanced back at the car thinking how easily I would break the treaty if Bella weren't mere feet away.

"See to it that she does." I commanded. He rolled his eyes in response. _Right_. And dashed off into the woods.

"Stupid mutt." I muttered to myself stomping back to the car. My adrenaline from an afternoon of worry and anger at the wolfs total disregard for Bella's safety, teamed under my skin. Hell, I was angry at Bella for being so reckless.

I wrenched open the door and slammed it behind me, taking deep breaths to clean the offending stench out of my lungs. I let Bella's aroma smooth out my frayed nerves. When I looked out the corner of my eye I saw her tear stained cheeks, red wet trails leading down to her pouty rose lips. Her beautiful, soft, warm lips.

Lips that I proceeded to crash my own into. My head lost all control over my actions to my most desperate desires. I poured all of the passion I had into that moment, forgetting everything in that instant but Bella. ANGER. LOVE. WANT. NEED. She lifted off the seat to meet my body with hers. Her mouth seeming nearly as eager as mine, meeting my ferosity with one all her own. I started to inch my hands up to her shoulders to pull her closer to me when a red eyed Bella flashed in my mind...again.

Instead of pulling her closer as I so hungrily wished to do, I pushed her back to her own seat effectively breaking our mouths hold on eachother. I listened to her rapid heart beat and ragged breathing as I held my own breath. If I indulged in her scent again I didn't know what might have happened.

All I could think in that moment was _she kissed me back_. The sheer feeling of joy that fact brought me was vastly overshadowed by one of dread.

How did we get here?!? I was.. _am_ a monster. What was I thinking when I took her in all those years to go? And most importantly, What the fuck am I going to do now?

---

**I think it's funny when author says_ I like this part_, when that part had absolutely no effect on me... but I'm going to do it anyway. ****I really like Esme at the grave. She's proud of her 'daughter' and thankful and blah. They're kindred spirits and all that junk.**

**Who want's to read Jacobs point of view in the grocery store? I think it would be a cute story. All _attack poor little vampire_ only to find out she's human, the one his Dad has been looking for the better part of his life. hmmm.**


	19. Chapter 18

**I don't own these characters... in an at all kinda way.**

Bella.

_He kissed me. He. Kissed. Me. What does that mean?_

I blushed thinking back to how I reacted to Edward's lips on mine. I can't believe how carried away I got. That pleasant tingly sensation must have been one sided. When he did it-- he was confused, he was angry. _There is no way he meant it_.

I don't know why that knowledge left me so disheartened.

A soft knock sounded at my door and my heart went into overdrive. I never have that reaction when the family comes around. We really needed to talk and I realized how desperately I wished it was him.

"Come in." I said, quickly smoothing down my unruly hair.

"Hey," Alice gracefully danced into my room situating herself on my bed. She look frustrated.

"I don't like it."

"Don't like what?" I asked trying to hide the colour of disappointment in my voice.

"Don't like you disappearing like that." She stated more calmly than she appeared. I nodded my understanding. "I don't like it because he's been really moody since… which makes Jasper moody which in turn…" she jerked her thumb at the ceiling which was immediately followed by a loud thump.

_Moody_. He must definitely be regretting that kiss. _I knew it_. My face fell infinitesimally. Good thing it didn't matter much because I didn't think about Edward that way either.

"It's not like I had much choice, Jacob as good as kidnapped me." My word were followed by another loud crash. Alice smirked at the spot above my head. I learned long ago the tell tale signs she was talking to him. "Besides," I continued as if there hadn't been any interruption, "it's not like you couldn't see I'd be all right."

"Right…" she sounded unsure.

"What?" I was confused. Alice was never unsure.

"She has a right to know," She spoke aloud to the same place above me.

"Know what?" I asked knowing that I was missing something important.

"I can't see them."

"See who?"

"The wolves," If I thought I was confused before, "the werewolves." Alice concluded.

A smile broke out on my face earning myself a reproachful look from Alice. "The werewolves." I repeated punctuating the words with air quotes. "You can't see the werewolves." I started full on laughing so hard my belly began to ache. This had to be some trick they were playing on gullible Bella.

"This is not a joking matter. Jacob and his pack are more a danger to you than yourself, and that's saying something." Her words stopped me short.

We sat cross-legged facing each other as she remained unwaveringly serious. "Jacob?" I asked knowing it was true the instant the name passed through my lips.

"That's what I thought." She appraised the situation for a moment. I encouraged her to continue.

"So there's this treaty…"

Edward.

I couldn't take it anymore. When I flopped on my couch-- the scent of freesia would assault me from when she fell asleep reading. When I put on a random black sweater-- the hood would smell of strawberries, from the time she got to cold listening to music.

There was no escaping her.

The sound of her music laughter drifted up to me from her room where all our siblings had congregated. As pleasant as it was, it was also very distracting. A frustrated growl escaped my chest.

I lopped down the stairs stopping short in front of her doorway. "I'm going hunting."

"I'll come with you." Jasper said through the tail end of his own laugh. Alice stood to join them as well.

_I should go too_, Emmett thought. "I'll--" I shook my head 'no' as he moved to stand, "Stay right here. I'm not too hungry." He grumbled sitting back down. If I wasn't here with Bella then I wanted the larger of my family members to be. "If I get peckish I'll just have Bella as a snack."

Everyone, save for me, laughed.

"Hey," her playful voice cooed as she smacked him on the shoulder, "sitting right here."

I chanced a look at her. Those dark chocolate brown pools of hers, entrapping my own black ones. She met my gaze with a delicate intensity. Her face had the faint remaining glow from recently laughing.

"I need to speak to you still." She scolded, suddenly serious. She had been trying to talk to me since that day in the car. Doubly so after her talk with Alice. It shamed me to no end, the hurt echoed on her face, each time I dodged her.

"I know… later."

She would tell me how wrong I was to kiss her the way I had. Maybe she regretted kissing me back. My worst fear would be she wanted to stay here. What did I have to offer her; a life on the move, never able to settle in one place, placed in constant danger from being in the path of others of our kind, never being able to forge a real relationship with another human being. She may as well be one of us.

_No_.

"Later." she promised. And we were off.

Bella.

"Checkmate," Emmett smile gleefully throwing his arms up in the air.

I looked back at him amused. "Emmett were playing checkers, not chess!"

He laughed. "I know but 'checkmate' seemed to make more sense then 'yahtzee'."

"Good call." I nodded my agreement.

The whole game I had been distracted, thinking of ways to sneak away to see the Black's. I also wanted to go see my parents again and figured I could kill two birds with one stone.

All I had to do was get to the garage under the pretence I was going to the kitchen for snack.

Emmett's phone went off in his pocket signalling a text message. It seemed as good a time as any to leave while he and Rose exchanged dirty text messages back and forth. He might be distracted for a…

"Not so fast." His large hand took hold of my shoulder.

"Yes?" I asked as innocently as I could manage.

"Where am I driving you?" He held up his phone, where Edward's most recent text flashed across the screen.

"I don't need a chaperone."

"Except for the part where you do."

I looked pointedly at his hand on my shoulder to the cell phone in his other. "Fine," I sighed after taking in his apologetic smile, "the cemetery; but I have to make a call first AND you stay in the car."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, probably considering how specific the instructions he had been given were.

"Deal."

"I'll get my coat."

OOoOoOo

"The only thing they loved more then each other was you."

I smiled feeling the blush creep up my neck. Billy was sitting next to me in his chair while I sat on the ground. My butt had gone numb from sitting in the cold so long.

Jacob had excused himself early on saying he had business to attend to, Instead of going back to the parking lot, he went to the bordering tree line. My mind ran rampant with the possibilities. I hadn't had a chance yet to talk to him about the wolf thing.

"You looked so much like Charlie as a kid…" he laughed causing his eyes to crinkle in the corners, "I felt so sorry for you. Look at you now. Spitting image of your Mom."

I was sure my naturally pale complexion must be close to the colour of a strawberry by that point.

"I have a question for you."

"Ask away." He smacked his knee gleefully.

"Why did you look for me all these years?" I knew he was my fathers friend but maybe he was just trying to rid the world of some vampires.

"Don't you know?" he asked, "that's what you do for family."

"Family?" My head snapped up.

He looked back at me his expression laced with confusion and hopefulness. "You did take your birth certificate. Names on there. Godfather:" he pointed his thumb to his chest, "Me."

"Oh." I hadn't read that far.

"I'm your legal guardian Isabella. I loved you and wanted you back where you belonged--still do."

"Right." I nodded turning my head away from him.

"Please Bella," he begged grabbing my hands and holding them in his own. I couldn't look back to his face.

_But_… The Cullen's face all flashed in my mind.

Carlisle and Esme. Their arms and hearts open to me as if I were their own daughter.

Rose, Emmett, and Jasper. The brothers and sister I never would have had.

Alice. My best friend that has loved me unconditionally and made me who I am.

Edward.

I never would have thought it was possible to be as close to any one person as I was to him. I never felt alone when I was with him. I was whole as only he could make me… because he was my other half. My mind strayed to his kiss. The memory of his lips moving with my own and the red hot sensation that travelled through my body.

The kiss. I can't remember ever feeling more alive. I loved him. He knew I loved him but in that moment it was inexplicably clear.

I was _in_ love with Edward.

A smile broke out on my face with the epiphany. "Bella?" Billy asked breaking me out of my trance.  
"Bella?!?" he sounded, more concerned than before.

"Excuse me Billy, "I kneeled before him and gave him a quick hug, "thank you, really! But I already know where I belong."

He muttered something under his breath and then released me. "Good luck child."  
He had Jacob. He was going to be just fine.

I ran as fast as my legs would carry me back to the Jeep, nearly tripping as I ran through the gates. The vehicle shook with Emmett's booming laughter at my clumsiness.

"Where's the fire?" he asked as I hope into the passenger seat. I threw myself into his arms and hugged him fiercely. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but what was that for?"

"I love you Em."

"I love you too, kiddo." he smiled back at me.

"I think I'm in love with Edward."

He nodded and his smile grew. He shifted the car into reverse and peeled out of the parking lot. "About bloody time you figured it out."

I watched the beautiful trees pass by my window in Emmett's haste. Looking at the clock I knew I had some time to work through things before he got home. Edward. My stomach fluttered with the knowledge I'd be seeing him soon.

Edward.

Bella. The first and last thing on my mind every second I was away from her. I promised Emmett we would be gone a day at most. So we were on our way back from our short trip. Knowing that I would be close to her soon was the only thing that kept me from insanity.

Alice was singing in the front seat to a horrible song, changing the words to her own comical ones keeping it perfectly in tune. Jasper laughed heartily and smiled back at his wife while I drove.

She stopped her singing and threw her head back.

"Alice." Jasper grabbed her before she fell into the window. I glimpsed the tail end of her vision and pushed my foot down on the gas pedal. She came around with a sharp gasp and gripped to Jasper for dear life.

"We can't prevent this. This is going to happen." Her head shook side to side hysterically. We weren't far from the house now. Ten minutes before I would pull into the driveway that was filled with several confused and blood thirsty newborns.

"I know."

"What can we do?"

"Get her back." I said with certainty. There was no other option. A distant hum of voices sounded in my head. They were mislead but more than ready to fight.

One rang out above the others. _I told you this wasn't over._

Bella.

I decided to write in my journal. I couldn't be too specific because if Alice saw what I was writing then Edward would too.

It wasn't long before they pulled into the drive. The banging noise that usual accompanied the boys rough housing floated up to my ears. They sounded like they were wrestling in the house though they usually kept it outside. I smiled at the thought _he_ was right below me.

I jumped at the particularly loud crashing sound that came from downstairs. Esme was going to be very angry if they let anything happen to her immaculate house. Getting up to investigate, I came face to face with some familiar red eyes. The same ones haunted my dreams for the last 10 years.

"Hello Bella."

**Please review. You know you want to. **

**I wrote Jakes POV for the grocery store. It is typed up. If you want a copy, I can send it to you in a PM or review reply. It's actually really cute. I'm all BxE though. Poor Jake!**


	20. Chapter 19

1**This chapter didn't take too long and I really like it. I'm also kinda bias Not a lot of people wanted to read Jacobs POV which kinda surprised me and kinda didn't. (Shrug)**

**I don't own familiar charaters.**

"_Hello Bella_."

Bella.

His red eyes focussed on mine. _James_.

My knees locked in terror as he took a slow measured step toward me. I fell back to the bed I had just stood up from.

"Wha...what do y-you want?" I cursed my unsteady voice for betraying me.

His chuckle sounded out. I glanced towards the door. Judging from the growls and loud crashing; no one was coming to my rescue and I wasn't escaping that way.

The poor human. I had no hope of escaping at all.

_My family_. They were in danger, fighting for their lives, because of me. If any of them got hurt . . . would I even be around to know if they were safe. How would I know if Edward was safe. A fearful tear escaped down my cheek.

James moved right into my face and took a deep pull of my scent. I scrambled back from his sudden closeness.

"You smell," a low grumble escaped his throat as he crawled up the bed with one arm either side of my legs, "amazing. Nearly as good as you did 10years ago." A smile spread across his features. He brushed his nose along the crook of my neck. I whimpered when his long hair brushed my shoulder.

"Better even, you've aged well. Your bouquet has ripened."

"I'm not wine." I spat and caught the other edge of the bed. I pulled myself out from under his intimate posture. When I turned back around, after finding my feet, he was sitting against the backboard with his legs draped the length of my comforter.

He cocked his head to the side, like a hawk watching his prey.

"But you are going to make for a fine drink just the same."

"BELLA." Edwards bellow shook the house.

"It seems time has gotten the best of us," the vampire sighed regretfully as he got off the bed, "we shall have to do this elsewhere."

I backed up against my dresser causing a few things to fall and shatter.

"Now, now Bella." James waved a disapproving finger at me. "We can do this the easy way..."he held out his hand and looked to my balcony door, "...where we leave without incident _or_ the hard way." He looked pointedly at the door behind which was all the commotion.

I took his outstretched hand without hesitation and he threw me over his shoulder. We were off through the woods before I could even blink.

"And the game begins."

Edward.

They were only untrained newborns but their sheer strength in numbers had the battle lasting longer then it should have.

"Get ALL the pieces!" I yelled, taking the stairs five at a time to Bella's room. I pushed open the door not knowing exactly what I might find.

Everything on her dresser was toppled over. Her journal lay open on the bottom of the bed. Her bedding was reeked of him. _James_.

The curtain billowed where the door was ajar on the balcony. She was long gone.

Six pairs of footsteps filed into line outside the door. Alice took a tentative step into the room.

"Where did he take her?" I sneered. When she didn't say anything, I turned on her. "WHERE?"

"I don't know." She conceded barely above a whisper.

_How_? "How is that even possible?"

Alice looked up at me angry and hurt. "He knows how it works. He knows how my gift works!" She fell to her knees and collapsed face first into the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Jasper tried to calm the room but he was having trouble with his own worry. "It's not your fault." He rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"No one knows how it works," Rosalie started perplexed, "Not even the Volturi."

_No one except for_... Esme watched our broken family, unsure of how to help fix it.

"Except who?" I asked. Everyone looked back at me confused save for Esme who was gripped to Carlisle's arm. All their clothes were ripped and torn. Designer labels weren't made for battle.

"It couldn't be." She said.

"Who?" I asked harshly.

"The Denali's."

Alice gasped. Esme continued, "We cut all ties when Bella joined us. There's no way..."

"Except that Laurent was acquainted with them." Alice finished lamely.

"WHAT?!?" I roared.

_I'm sorry Edward_. "I saw him there. He was just passing through and y-you said he disbanded from James and Victoria. I didn't think anything of it because I never saw him again."

I thought back to our conversation with the wolves. The alpha said they took one out.

"I'll make the call." Carlisle left with Esme following closely behind. One of their children was missing and they would do all they could to get her back.

"We need a plan." Alice picked herself up off the floor looking determined. "And fast."

Bella.

My eyes flew open to be greeted by an unfamiliar pseudo contemporary hotel room. The clock in front of me flashed 6:17 P.M.. I closed my eyes against the unfamiliar surroundings.

"Pretending to be asleep or dead," he whispered harshly from the darkness, "a common defence mechanism against predators for more cowardice prey. Usually bugs and rodents."

It seemed as if his voice came from everywhere in the small room. I sat up straight as there was no use in pretending. He jumped from the darkness and landed lithely in front of me.

"I'm going to let your little psychic friend know where we are and then we can begin." James smiled mischievously. Traffic noise from outside filtered in through the window.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"We have gone a very long way to go not very far at all."

"That's not cryptic at all." I replied, my tone coloured heavily with sarcasm.

He chuckled. "See, you do know how to play." He pressed his palms together and touched them to his forehead as if deep in concentration. "I got it," he clapped loudly causing me to jump, "how about... 'back where it all began'."

A cackle came from the door to the suite as James moves to exit the room. The red head grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him hard against her. "Baby?" she whined expectant. I had to look away as they kissed each other vulgarly, leaving nothing to the imagination.

"Watch her." I looked back to see him pointing an accusatory finger in my direction. "Oh," he added as an after thought, "and play nice."

"Always."

The door clicked shut behind him.

"You must be Victoria," I studied my finger nails for dirt as she paced around the room. Her red eyes were looking everywhere but at me.

"My reputation proceeds me." She smiled.

"Yah. Rose and Alice said I would know it was you if you dressed like a.-"

My head snapped to the side so hard, I instantly regretted my actions. I did learn she had a temper and didn't seem to like me much though.

The tenderness spread from my cheek to my jaw, I tested it gingerly and winced. There would be an angry bruise, if I lived that long.

"Listen you little bitch. I have heard nothing but 'Bella' this and 'Bella' that for nearly a decade and you know what?" Her face was an inch from mine. "I'm sick of it."

Victoria's bright red painted lips moved close to my throat. I prepared myself for the inevitable when instead I felt her tongue glide up the length of my throat. I made a disgusted sound as she pulled away. She slid the offensive tongue across her teeth and then licked her lips.

"I should snap your neck now and be rid of you."

"What are you doing?" James yelled having reentered the room with out us noticing.

"I... I was–"

"You were what?" he threw his arms up in the air.

"Nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing."

They were screaming back and forth presenting me with the opportunity to escape. Both of their rages echoed off the walls as they nearly forgot the very thing they were arguing over. I passed through the front door, undetected and made for the elevator at breakneck speed.

_I can't believe that worked_.

Edward.

"Seattle. You're sure?"

"Yes." Alice sighed, positive in her assessment. We had been in the car a while. I followed my instinct east at first but James must have doubled back. I could push the car and make it to Seattle in an hour. I pulled on the emergency break to execute a perfect 180 without breaking speed.

"He's at a hotel just off Union. He's going to stage a fight with Victoria and let Bella escape, then start a game of cat and mouse."

"Union Street. But that's..."

Alice's face went blank with the final parts of her vision. A very familiar alley loomed in our future. "Isn't that?"

"Yea, that's the one." I pushed the car past its limits.

_They're going to heard her to the same place where she lost her parents_. Alice thought disgusted.

"I _really_ hate this guy."

We raced toward the stage of his greatest game and my worst nightmare.

**Did you like it?**

**SOOOO I've never had a beta before and my two big stories are almost done so I was thinking about starting a new one. The first chapter is written and really sad but it will get less sad. **

_**Bella is a single mom, at 23, whose husband died 4 year earlier. He would never find out about the daughter that came 6 months after his death... or would he?**_

**It's a little overdone too but you guys like my 'Bella grew up with the Cullens' story. If you are interested in being my first ever beta or have a recommendation PM or review please. I'm so excited about the new story and really sad this one is winding down. 2-3 left.**

**:( TISH**


	21. Chapter 20

**I hope this is satisfactory action for you. I'm so excited to know what you think of it, if I did okay or... bombed. I hope it's the former but if critisism is due then it can only help me improve. REVIEW**

Bella.

The elevator dinged as we hit the ground floor. I dashed into the crowded lobby and right into a harried bellman. He grumbled profanities under his breath as I apologized but I didn't have time to stick around. I spun full circle in the middle of the room scanning the crowd for any possible pursuers.

A flash of red hair caught my attention near the check in. The woman turned to whisper something in her flirtatious companions ear. I let out my held breath, relieved it wasn't Victoria.

Moving towards the rotating doors, people started to take notice of me and move out of the way.

"Scuse' me. Sorry." I muttered as I pushed past the remaining stragglers.

When I emerged, the street traffic wasn't nearly as bad as the jumble inside. It was a plus to be able to get away faster but no throng for me to get lost in.

I started heading east when a figure leaning casually against the wall caught my attention. James. He stared straight ahead non chalant but I had no delusions that he didn't know exactly where I was. I turned back the way I came and marched hurriedly away.

I was about to cross at the next light that was changing from WALK to DONT WALK, not that I thought it would slow him down any. However at the next corner Victoria was conversing with an overweight business man over a map of the city.

She looked up to see me watching her; smile and waived.

Instead of crossing either direction I followed the building around. The street I turned onto had far less pedestrians.

James deep laughter sounded from the rooftop across the street and Victoria's cackle sounded from behind. The scant foot traffic became nonexistent.

"Shit." I hit the brick wall with frustration. Looking in all directions at my options, I chose to soilder on.

I was nearing the mouth of an alley and prepared myself for someone to jump out of the darkness. Surveying my surroundings, all I found were an old dumpster and a rusted no parking sign. There was also a steel door with no knob that must only open from the inside. The scene tugged at my subconscious with familiarity. I couldn't quite place it, but as there was no escape down there, I had to keep going.

"Hey," a girlish voice stopped me in my tracks. I shrieked and stumbled back from Victoria who was standing right in front of me. I pivoted only to run straight into James.

"Where do you think you're going? We just got here." James asked with mock offence.

"Please." I begged, tears stinging my eyes.

"That's probably the last thing your father said here too."

I didn't have a chance to hear him elaborate. My body gave out from fear and exhaustion. My vision went black. _Edward, help. _

Edward.

"We' re getting close." I shifted and ripped around the next corner. There were only 5 blocks left between us and out destination. A couple jaywalkinging in the street had to jump out of our way. The tires screeched in protest and the engine whined.

"I know. Don't slow down for the light. It's going to change." Alice rocked back and forth with anticipation. Her eyes were closed in concentration. Everyone else was on route; about 5 minutes behind us.

"I wasn't planning on it." The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I flew through the light that was somewhere in between colors. The action followed by the squealing breaks and angry honks of other commuters.

"There!" she cried pointing at my last turn as if there was any doubt I had forgotten.

I watched as Bella fell, seemingly in slow motion, to the ground. She lay motionless for a few moments as James advanced on her. Victoria looked up at our approach, surprised. I aimed the car directly for her as I couldn't very well hit James with Bella in such close proximity. _She's still alive Edward. Just fainted. Keep your head if you want her to get through this._

Victoria jumped at the last second and landed on all four's on the hood leaving a large dent._ Thought you'd get me with that one again?!? _She puckered her lips and blew a kiss through the cracked windshield. _Not likely. _The scratching from her scrambling over the top echoed inside the car.

Alice and I cracked open our doors to face our opponent. She grinned wickedly back at us. My sister jumped on top of her now wrecked car and assumed an attacking stance. "Go Edward. This bitch is mine."

My gaze flicked between the two. Alice feral grimace put my mind at ease.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." Victoria chided from below. Her stance became a defensive one.

It would have been my pleasure to watch the combat that was sure to ensue but I had other things on my mind. I turned my attention to the scene a few feet away.

_No_.

James was hunched over a squirming Bella, his lips to her wrist where blood flowed freely down her raised arm. Her half open eyes were watching me fearful. The scent of her might have sent me into the usual frenzy if it weren't for the red I was already seeing. "Bella!" I screamed, my body slamming full on into her attacker.

Bella.

I blacked out for a moment from the duress and opened my eyes groggily to the cold pavement. My cheek was pressed to the cement and I could feel the familiar beginning heat that radiates from a nasty scrape.

The screeching of tires came down the street right toward me. I cheered that maybe a runaway car could take me out instead of the advancing vampires. Instead the car careened into Victoria. She jumped fast to avoid the impact and landed on the familiar hood. _ALICE_. I watched her scramble off the back of the car and out of my line of sight when the driver door opened and he stepped out.

_EDWARD_. My mind screamed willing this to be the one time he might hear me.

Alice landed ontop of her car with a loud crunching blow. She said something to Edward which I missed when I turned my attention to the tug on my wrist.

I looked up into James red eyes that were sparkling with glee as he held my wrist at an awkward angle. "This will just have to do." And with that he bit down. His teeth slid into my skin as if it hadn't been there at all. I don't know exactly what I was expecting. Maybe a crunching or tearing sound but instead my ears heard nothing. The silence was deafening, or maybe that was the blood loss.

A small dribble escaped the seal of his lips and I watched it drip down to the crook of my elbow. This monster was draining me of my life and I was watching my blood. If anything was going to be my last sight on earth I didn't want it to be that.

I turned my head and locked my gaze on the object of my desires. He was definitely the last thing I wanted going through my mind before I died. His mouth shaped the sounds of my name but nothing came out. His messy bronze locks bounced as he jogged towards me. I preferred his eyes to be hazel other than the black they now reflected. At this point I wasn't picky.

My arm was jerked away from my body and gentle tugging of James mouth was replaced with searing pain. All the sound I had blocked out came to me in a rush; the crashing of boulder on boulder, the screechingf metal being ripped, a door slamming open...

Edward.

Our bodies slammed into the dumpster. I had James head pulled hard to the side; the point to which any human would be long since dead. I pulled his head forward and created a dent the same size and shape as his face when I rammed it back again.

"Hey there Eddie boy, what took you so long?" James smirk had me reeling. I had the upper hand and he was being cocky. "Don't worry, I kept Bella...entertained for you."

I increased the pressure I had on his neck. "That's the last time you'll ever have a chance to say that name." The door to the alley banged against the wall. James took advantage of the momentary distraction to duck out of my grasp. He pinned me in the same position I just had him in. I scanned the alley for whoever might have come through the door, worst case sescenario: newborn back up. Instead, Esme and Rose burst into the alley and ran straight for Bella.

"Not so confident now, huh?" He breathed in my face. The smell of her blood on him made my stomach churn with fear. Purple smoke billowed behind him and the satisfactory smell hit my nose. I realized Victoria had been taken down just as James was ripped off of me.

"Thanks guys." I sighed and cracked my neck as Emmett and Jasper had either arm of my rival.

_Edward. She needs you. _I scanned the alley for Bella and Carlisle and found no sign of them. A commotion was going on the other side of the closed door. No handle. I tore the door from it's hinges to get to my Bella, James enentirely forgotten. I heard her faint heart beat and her not so faint screams.

Bella.

"Bella, honey." Esme's kind face filled my vision and she smoothed the hair back from my forehead. "Honey, can you hear me?" Rosalie appeared next to her. A purple cloud rose behind them. I tried to reply but all I could manage was a whimper as a fire spread through my body. They grabbed one arm and leg each moving me through the one sided door to the alley.

Jasper and Emmett stopped for a moment with worried expressions before Rose abandoned me and pushed them through the door we just came in.

Those few moment gave me cause to worry. I must have been in pretty bad shape. The pain had taken over completely making it hard to make out the shapes and voices surrounding me. "Edward," I whimpered along with my pain filled cries.

The closed door to the small hallway was ripped from it's hinges. I cringed away into Esme fearing that James was coming to finish me off.

"Bella. Bella! " I heard his frantic pleading. He pulled me to a tight embrace his cold skin felt amazing against mine. He kissed my forehead and ran his free hand over my cheeks. "It's going to be okay Bella. It's going to be okay." Edward rocked me back and forth. In his arms I knew I was safe again. This time when the blackness threatened, I welcome it.

**Started that other story, Must be Mistaken. First chapter is up. CHECK IT OUT!**


	22. Chapter 21

**Hey, thought I'd get this out there before Christmas... or whatever politically correct holiday you may or may not celebrate. :) Thanks for reading. I hope you like the direction I took this... I hope I was able to do it justice.**

**Anyway drop me a line and tell me what you think.**

Edward.

Two and a half days ago, three words sealed my fate.

**"It's too late."**

Bella.

'Pain' doesn't even begin to cover it.

I have been in agony two and a half long days. Someone whispered that I was through the worst of it, but the searing sensation all over my body only seemed to heighten. Sweat beaded all over my back. I wanted so desperately out of my skin and away from the unimaginable pain but no matter what position I found myself in, it didn't recede or lessen.

"_It's too late_..." Carlisle's uttered word from a few days back echoed over and over on a never ending loop in my head. I tried to push the words from my mind but couldn't concentrate enough to force them away. Those three words sealed my fate. That is when I knew...

... I knew I was going to be a vampire.

"It's going to be okay," _his_ velvety voice wrapped around me like a blanket. I leaned into the touch of his cool hand against my cheek; a stark contrast to the blazing heat of my skin. I wanted so desperately to believe the angelic voice. I had believed anything he said all my life, however, at that moment it was impossible to believe his words as truths.

"It hurts." I cried. The tears that fell down my cheek provided minimal reprieve before quickly evaporating.

"I know," he tried to soothe, "I'm sorry. I'm SO sorry. If I hadn't of--" I interrupted him, released a gut wrenching scream that I couldn't hold any longer.

"BELLA!!"

"Edward..." I whispered, my throat raw from screaming.

Edward.

"There has to be something we can to do." I pleaded with Carlisle. He looked back to me, sympathy coloring his face.

"Even if I could give her something, her system would reject it," he shook his head from side to side, regretfully. His usually well kempt hair fell into his tired eyes making him look older than Edward had ever seen him. "Her skin's already hardening... It shouldn't be too long." _Let's hope_. Carlisle left the room with his head hung and shoulders slumped.

The angel in my arms whimpered and squirmed; though never away from me.

_This is all my fault_, I thought.

I kept thinking; 'if only I'd been faster,' or ' I should have killed James when I'd had the chance.' The feelings of guilt running through me left me broken. _Maybe if I hadn't brought her home at all_.

My heart ached at the thought of the imaginary life she would never have been in. A normal life for her.

_Stop blaming yourself, you idiot_. Alice came into the room looking quite beaten herself. _Get over yourself. This was inevitable and we both saw that_.

"YOU STOP." I roared back at her. Even with having seen this, nothing could prepare either of us for watching this scene play out. It hurt Alice almost as much as me, to see one of her own in so much agony. "This is all happening because of my selfishness." I sighed lamely.

"You're not being selfish." She admonished putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I flinched away from her touch trying not to disturb Bella any more than necessary as I moved away from them both. Alice pulled her hand back looking a little hurt, also my fault. "You've loved her since she was a girl and she loves you right back, unconditionally."

"I said stop," I interrupted, seething at her words. Even if they _might_ be true, and I wanted to believe them, I just didn't want hear them.

She continued as if I said nothing at all. "-And there's no way you would have left her in that alley all by herself. She could have died at the hands of that kid or worse--"

"STOP- IT!"

"Edward.." A weak voice sounded from the bed. I immediately crawled back in next to her on the bed, whispering assurances I was still here and not leaving her. Alice disappeared from the room. "Edward?" she whispered again in question.

"Yes?" I asked reserved, not wanting her to exert anymore energy than she had to.

"Hold me," she asked. Her eyes were shut tightly against the pain, her forehead wrinkled. She leaned into my embrace as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and pulled her toward my chest. That afternoon she convulsed and twitched in my hold, bravely making very little sound.

Then she stopped moving all together... Her heart stilled in her chest. Her lungs stopped automatically pulling air.

I laid her flat on her back and called for Carlisle.

_It should only be a few moments. Her body is adjusting. _Carlisle appeared beside me. I waited and watched for even the slightest signs of life.

"What's wrong?" I asked frantically; fear building after nearly a minute had passed.

_Just give her time_.

"Carlisle." I groaned getting more impatient.

"Watch," he said directing my gaze back to the bed where Bella's hand twitched.

"Bella?" I asked quietly.

At the sound of my voice she shot up and out of the bed to the opposite side of the room. She coward in the corner with her arms hiding her face.

"Bella?" I asked more loudly. I desperately wished to cross the room and comfort her but feared that the gesture might just frighten her further.

"Make it go away... the pain... it's too much..." she mumbled into her hands as she rocked herself back and forth. She looked so fragile and broken. Even knowing how far from the truth that actually was, emotionally she was vulnerable and raw. I didn't want this for her. I never wanted this for her.

"Bella?!" I asked again, unable to keep the worry from my voice. She looked back at me through splayed fingers. Her blood red eyes widening with surprise.

She stood up fast but didn't leave her corner. She took in her surrounding quickly and returned her gaze to me. The emotions pouring from her were intense but after a moment her posture showed signs of relief. Her eyes never broke contact with mine.

A gasp passed through the lips of every family member, who chose that moment to appear at my side. I couldn't blame them for gasping. Bella was...

She straightened her shirt, conscious of all the eyes on her. She forced her gaze down to brush imaginary lint from her thigh. If she had been human she would have been blushing. None of us seemed to be able to take our eyes away.

_She looks_... all of their thoughts focused on the creature we were sharing the room with. All images of her immense perfection.

Bella lifted her arm in a shy wave.

"Hey guys."

**Next chapter is what A LOT of you have been waiting for. It's should be a lot easier to write than this one because I love writing the fluff. :) I'm so excited. ****Sorry the chapter isn't a little longer but I won't take to long to update.**

**AND if you haven't yet check out my newest story, Must Be Mistaken, you should. It's just started but I'd love your guys opinion.**


	23. Chapter 22

**I apologize to you guys way too much for making you wait but I really am sorry.**

**So I lied last time too. I said you'd get what you were waiting for but it isn't in here. NEXT CHAPTER!! I promise. But there is a little treat in here for you. I had to set up for the next chapter so... yah.**

Bella.

"Hey guys." I waved pathetically to my family who stood on the other side of the room. All I could hear was their breathing, shallow breaths, which would normally be inconsequential except for I wasn't (breathing, that is).

It was uncomfortable, similar to the sensation of holding your breath, however instead of running out it just... was. I decided to try and take a pull of the air and my sense of smell was bombarded. I could smell the comforter on the bed, that reeked of my sweat. I could smell the fresh rain outside, through the open window. I could smell my family's scent, all individual but I smelled them simultaneously. It was disconcerting for it to all happen at the same time until I singled out his scent, Edwards.

He smelled like the grass, if it were dry and earthy, with a hint of... I closed my eyes to try and figure out what the other scent was. "Cinnamon." I whispered.

"Huh?" Emmett's voice sounded, confused.

There was a moments silence before Esme broke it. "_Edward_... she's getting a feel for her heightened senses."

"Edward smells,_ very _faintly, of cinnamon." Alice added for Emmett's benefit.

"There's plenty of things I'd say he smells like but none of them--OW" Rose smacked her husband mid-sentence, "What was that for?"

Rose shushed him and smile sincerely at me. "It's nice to have you back sis, you had us worried there." She took a tentative step toward me and opened her arms. I dashed into them, considerably faster than expected, hugging her tightly. When she released me, she ushered Emmett out of the room with her. I watched them leave before he stuck his head back around the corner.

"Oh. By the way Bells, you look hawt -OW-- stop hitting me."

"You, my dear, are a vision." Esme stepped out of line and tugged me into her arms. Carlisle joined us in our embrace. "We're so glad you're..." Esme let out a dry sob into my hair. "I don't know what we would have done if anything happened to you."

"I love you guys, so much." I sobbed too, maneuvering my arm around Carlisle's waist as well as Esme's.

"We love you too, Sweetheart." Carlisle concluded before prying Esme away from me. "Let me know if you need anything," he finished in 'doctor' voice. I smiled at the formality of it.

Alice was vibrating with excitement. If I had been human I might not even have been able to see it, she was so fast. "Oh my god, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT look in a mirror without me." She caught me in a quick bone-crushing hug. "We are going to have so much fun. You have no idea. I bet you'll even beat Emmett in an arm wrestle." Alice winked over her shoulder at Jasper who laughed. She spoke in such a rush and grabbed

Jasper so fast I barely was able to see him nod to me before leaving, nor was I able to get one word in.

Then I turned to Edward. He watched me with a pained expression. I couldn't figure out why that look would be coloring his face. He saved me (AGAIN!!) and all I wanted to do was express how thankful I was.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried. I took a small step toward him and he collapsed the to floor with one loud sob of defeat. My heart broke at the sight of him.

"Edward?! What happened? Are you okay?" _Please be okay_.

Edward.

It was excruciating watching Bella hug everyone. Not only did I want nothing more than to snatch her away and have her all to myself but they all noted her differences in their minds. Each change they pointed out,_ she smells... she not as soft.... she's cold... her eyes..., _was a lash on my subconscious_._

I didn't notice Alice filing out of the room last until she was already gone.

She looked at me. My beautiful Bella looked at me. Her hair, the same shade of mahogany brown. Her heart shaped face having more definition. Every feature exactly the same and completely different all at the same time. Unnaturally beautiful. Inhumanly gorgeous.

Those eyes. Her eyes, usually a deep chocolate brown that I could easily get lost in were red. Blood red.

The sight of them… "What's wrong?" She asked. Her voice velvety smooth. The sound of it brought me to my knees.

I failed her. I was suppose to protect her and keep her safe. I promised her as a child I wouldn't allow _them_ to hurt her.

I did.

Bella was what she was because I couldn't protect her. I couldn't keep her out of harms way.

"Edward?!" her voice was colored with worry, "What happened? Are you okay?"

She was at my side in a flash. The speed and grace with which she moved was unsettling. Her hands were on my shoulders, trying to force me in a position she could examine me from. The strength or her overwhelmed me, causing me to sprawl backwards.

The concern emanating from Bella was nearly tangible. I started to laugh hysterically.

"Am…I… okay?!" I laughed without humor. I was a monster, who cared if I was okay. "ME!?!"

Bella sat back on her heels looking annoyed. "Stop laughing and tell me if you're okay or not." She started to stand. "I'm going to get Carlisle."

"No!!" I said fast pinning her arms to her side and not allowing her to move. She could have easily gotten away from me. However, didn't try to move more. My laughter came to an abrupt halt. "Don't go. I have so much to tell you."

_I've been in love you as long as I can remember, for one._

"I have so much to apologize for."

"Apologize?" She asked. "What could you possibly have to apologize for?"

"I failed you." I lamented, thinking it was the most obvious thing in the world. I pulled her down so we were both kneeling, facing each other. "I failed you and I'm so sorry."

I closed my eyes against the disappointment I had in myself. The sorrow I felt hurt like a physical pain.

"Failed me…" I opened my eyes to see her forehead creased with confusion. "You never failed me. You've saved me time and time again."

Releasing my hold on her arms, I sat back and turned my eyes away. "But I was too late. I never wanted this for you."

"This?" she asked.

"I DIDN'T WANT FOR YOU TO BE A VAMPIRE."

Bella.

_He didn't... want me. Forever was just too long_...

When I was human, he knew I was fragile. I had an expiration date. Now that forever loomed, maybe he didn't want me around anymore. My heart broke a little at the thought. I thought he was my best friend. I thought he was my...soul mate.

That pained look on his face was because _I_ was a vampire. How could I have been so stupid. To think I might have a chance with a god like creature such as him.

"Oh," was all I could manage. I tried to force my emotions away so they wouldn't show on my face. "Right, well... it's a little late for that."

"And it's all my fault," he finished, his shoulders sagging further.

_Ha_. "Well, I'm sorry this is so hard for _you_." I spat sarcastically, unable to hold in the malice. The doorbell rang in the background, though I barely notice as I rose to my feet in a huff. "I'll try to keep out of your way."

"Bella, I--"

"Don't worry, Edward. I wouldn't want to be..." A heavenly scent assaulted my nostrils. I felt drawn towards it, my instincts taking over. The back of my throat burned with a persistent thirst. I started to move towards the smell, abandoning all the rational thoughts I had. The sensation didn't totally overshadow (but did help) with the pain of rejection I was currently feeling.

"BELLA!!" I ignored the loud tenor of his voice and moved down the stair in a blur. There was a lot of commotion going on around me but I was intent on finding the source of the smell.

"Do something?!" Someone screamed. I was having troubles moving my limbs.

I stopped looking for the source of that other scent when another, equally appealing, filled my senses; his taste, smell and touch satisfying and distracting.

Edward.

The doorbell rang just as Bella was getting up to leave. Here I was trying to apologize and she looked furious as she had every right to be.

A shrill scream echoed through the house. "Emmett, DON'T!!" Alice yelled as he opened the door. I was to busy talking with Bella to hear the thoughts of the human outside.

_I didn't think anybody lived out here. Good thing dude tipped well. _

Bella's eyes glazed over the same time the scent hit me. Blood. She moved blurrily fast, not bothering to finish her sentence. "BELLA!!" I chased after her, only able to catch up by vaulting over the banister and tackling her to the floor. Her head cracked fairly hard against the marble floor of the foyer. The sound of it made me cringe. She started to thrashed and pull under me.

"CLOSE THE DOOR." I screamed for Emmett who stood there, open mouthed. The human (a delivery man) also watched openly at the sight before him.

_'I don't know if any tip is worth this,' _he thought. Emmett grabbed the envelope from the mans hand and slammed the door, though his scent still hung heavy in the air. I sat on top of Bella's torso, one knee on either side of her. She hissed and bucked underneath me. I grabbed and pinned her arms against the floor above her head.

"Bella, honey..." Esme cooed from the bottom of the stairs.

Bella's eyes were unfocused, feral growls escaped from her chest. Her arms came up and it took all my weight to push them back down. My face hovered an inch above hers. The familiar smell of freesia and strawberries wafted in my face. Her blood may not call to me anymore but the irresistible temptation she held for me was still there.

"Do _something_?!" _**Anything**_. Rosalie shrieked. There wasn't much I could actually do in this position and none of the family seemed to be coming to my aid. I did the only thing I could. I kissed her.

I pressed my lips to hers, gently at first, hoping that it might serve as a distraction. Maybe my smell would overpower that of the humans. The way her lips felt under mine was no different than the first time I kissed her. I felt this sudden rush of adrenaline, passion and uncontrollable lust. When I kissed her a little deeper she stilled underneath me. I was just about to pull away when she opened her mouth for me.

The way she smelled was nothing compared to how she tasted. There was no way I was pulling away now, even though she was very obviously under control now. I moved my hands from her wrists, instead supporting my weight on the floor beside her head while she wrapped her arms around my neck.

Bella was kissing me back... again. I swiped my tongue over hers harder to test the sweetness once more. She released a small groan in my mouth.

A throat cleared in the background, pulling me out of my trance. I lift myself above her and looked around the room where everyone lingered in different corners watching us. Alice lifted her hand to her mouth to hold in her giggles.

_Get a room_. Rosalie rolled her eyes at me.

Esme smiled widely with Carlisle at her side.

I looked back down to the angel beneath me. Her eyes were half lidded and her hair was haphazard on the floor around her face. My breathing caught at the sight of her. She had never been more sexy than she was in that moment.

Bella looked back up at me and then looked startled by my position. She slid out from under my body gracefully and then stumbled into Jasper as she tried to stand.

"Thanks," she directed toward me as Jasper caught her. She locked her gaze with mine and then diverted it quickly. "I needed that."

_Thanks?! _Was the only thing that went through mine and my families minds.

Bella.

_Thanks?! Who says 'thank you' after a kiss like that? _..._You. _

Edward kissed me... I almost killed someone... EDWARD KISSED ME!!

I didn't know what to make of it, then that burning hit the back of my throat again. "I think I might be hungry." I stated.

"Hungry for what exactly?" Alice laughed. I shot her the meanest glare I could.

"Alice." Esme scolded. "Who would you like to teach you to hunt, dear?" she asked me.

I looked around the room into the many eager face. Each wanting me to choose them. I knew I wanted Edward to take me, nearly as much as I didn't.

I wanted him to be there for me but I didn't know how uncomfortable it would be after... whatever that was or if I was ready to talk about it.

"Umm... guys?" Emmett interrupted my internal struggle to decide. "I think we have a problem."

"WHAT?!" Edward bellowed. I looked over to where Emmett was reading from the opened envelope.

"What's going on?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hunting will have to wait," Edward sighed angrily, "You have visitors."

**Okay... keep your stones and pitchforks in the closet, please. What you wanted next chapter and then the epilogue... maybe another chapter in there somewhere if it continues to write itself because I obviously have little control over what the characters are doing! I really didn't know that the story wanted to tie up loose ends but I'm just the author. I don't **_**actually**_** have any say in the matter.**

**If you want the next chapter fast you should review. Just saying... **

**Loverz you all muchly!!! Especailly you, yeah, you know who you are.**


	24. Chapter 23

**I own nothing. A/N at bottom.**

Edward.

"Who would you like to teach you to hunt dear?" Esme asked. The room grew unbearably silent but the excited volume of the voices in my head was another matter. I wanted to be the one to take Bella and also be able to talk with her in private.

Bella looked to me automatically after Esme's question and my heart leapt into my throat. Even with all our siblings dying for the opportunity the thought she might want me to share this experience with her was more than I could hope for. I felt a slight pang when I saw the hesitation in her eyes. Maybe I was jumping to conclusion too fast.

"Umm… guys?" Emmett said hesitantly, the envelope in his hands ripped open. The letter from inside smelt faintly of wet dog.

_Edwards not going to like this._ I read the angry, barely legible writing, through his eyes. Several greeting were written and crossed out: dear, to whom it may…, bloodsucking mother f…

CULLENS,

It has come to our attention that  
Ms. Isabella Swan/ Marie Cullen;  
a human in your household, has been  
missing for several days. If she does  
not make herself known within twenty  
minutes of receiving this letter (in the  
same condition she was last seen) we will  
assume the treaty has been broken and  
will take matters into our own hands.

Sam

"What?" I yelled at Emmett. He held his ground. _I didn't write it, don't blame me._

"What's going on?" Bella asked, her voice shaking.

I stalked over to her, trying to push my anger aside and failing miserably. "Hunting will have to wait." I sighed. "You have visitors."

Outside I was bombarded with the whole packs thoughts, there were a lot more of them then I had assumed. Last time they had changed, many years before we even found Bella, there were only a handful. Now there were…more.

The rest of the family joined us and we started our march to the border.

"Carlisle, Jasper and I will go first. Explain the situation and keep them calm." I looked to my brother and father and they both nodded their understanding.

"Emmett stays by Bella's side no matter what. Alice, Esme, Rose; be prepared for the worst. Understood?"

_Yes, understood_. They all thought in agreement.

"What's the worst? I know its Jacob out there. I can smell him!!" Bella huffed angrily gesturing to the woods before us. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt. Why don't I just go talk to them, tell them what happened. I can make him understand."

"They won't understand," I answered and grabbed her hand and squeezed. She didn't pull her hand away, instead letting it rest in mine. It fit so perfectly there I got momentarily distracted. "I don't want you to get hurt so this has to go my way. If anything goes wrong, Emmett will get you to safety."

"And who will get you to safety?" she asked, stopping in her tracks. The rest of the family continued forward as we stayed a few paces back.

"Don't worry about me." I turned to face her. She looked positively distraught. I grabbed both sides of her face and tried to make my words stick. "Do. Not. Worry about me. Everything will be fine."

"That's going to be a problem for me, because I am going to worry about you... more than I maybe should."

"What do you mean?" _More than she should?! What is she going on about?_

"This isn't the time, just… be careful."

I gave her the most endearing grin I could to lighten her spirits. "Always am."

Bella.

I watched my family disappear through the brush, wishing they would just have listened to me. If I understood correctly, they hadn't actually broken the treaty. None of them had bitten me or any other human since the treaty was made.

Maybe I should have told Edward before he left me with Emmett. I almost let it slip when we were talking about his safety. It didn't matter that he didn't feel the same for me; he deserved to know the truth. He deserved to know that I loved him.

"Don't fret little sister, he'll be okay." Emmett wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders. "He's just gonna make sure the big bad wolf doesn't blow the house down and then he'll be back."

"Tell me something, Em." I said nonchalant.

"Anything."

"What's 'the worst'?" I asked. His face dropped and a look of worry passed behind his eyes. It disappeared quickly, replaced with a reassuring smile. "Not the edited for Disney version." I accused before he could talk me into submission.

He averted his eyes and searched his brain for an answer. "Just that if… it doesn't even matter. It won't come to that."

"Come to what?"

Emmett sighed and his shoulders sagged with defeat. "In the unlikely event the fight turns south, the girls are supposed to get out as fast as possible. It would never happen though. They wouldn't leave Jasper or Carlisle and Rose wouldn't leave any of them."

"But you would let her go off all by herself?" I looked up at him through my eyelashes and used my sweetest voice.

He smiled down at me under his arm and squeezed. "I'm not the biggest fan of babysitting duty but you're important too. Keep the newborn in check, you know."

"But you would much prefer fight side by side with Rose… right?" The innocence dripping from my tone must have been see through as his grip tightened on my side.

"Good try but not going to happen." He smiled right back at me.

"Agh!!" I tried to stand but he held me in place. "I'm not a child. I'm not even human anymore. What could actually happen?"

"Probably, nothing."

The gears in my head started to spin faster.

_Maybe…_ it should be me. I'm the danger magnet. I should be the one to talk to Jacob; to see that my family gets home safely.

"Is it true that newborns are strong?" I asked thinking back to the stories they told me as a kid.

"Yeah…?"

"And fast, right?"

"Bella." Emmett sighed in a 'don't even go there' tone.

"I'm probably strong than even you. Faster than Edward?"

The confirmation in his eyes was all I needed. "BELLA!!" He bellowed after me as I dashed through the tree.

I felt each tree move past me in a blur as if they were moving at an alarming rate, rather than me. I couldn't hear my footfalls on the soft mulch below me, made up of dirt and fallen leaves. All I could hear were the faint heartbeats of the life around me. I passed a scared rabbit whose palpitations were fast and fluttering. A resting owl in the same tree greatly contrasted the rabbits with its slow steady heartbeat.

I gave the family a wide birth and knew the moment I had surpassed them. I knew they heard me when one set of their steps increased tenfold. Edward was fast… I was faster. I broke through the trees into a large open field that must have been the treaty line. The smell here was more pungent, so much so it was almost unbearable. Jacob and even more imposing man (I could only assume was Sam) stood at the head of a tight half circle of over sized wolves.

Both sets of eyes betrayed how surprised they were to see me. All the wolf creatures grimaced.

"Bella?!" Jacob exclaimed, though didn't look pleased. He took a hesitant step forward before Sam put a hand on his shoulder.

"That is not Bella." Sam said sternly. I had never met the man but immediately felt a great dislike for him.

"That's not true." I said. My voice shaking as all the wolves in front of me grew in size, their hair standing on end and massive bodies shaking with anger. The smell, if possible, seemed to get worse. I covered my nose and held back a gag. "I just had a little accident."

"An accident?!" Jacob's stone expression turned into one of fury. "So you just tripped and fell on your boyfriends' teeth?" his tone dripped with sarcasm. I might have thought the possibility funny if it weren't for the hundreds of sharp bared teeth glinting at me.

"The treaty is not broken. It wasn't like that." I said frantic and almost hysterical. Fear over taking my voice.

"What do you know of the treaty?" Sam asked.

"The Cullen's are not allowed to bite a human, they haven't."

"Obviously they have."

"They didn't do this to me. It was another of their kind."

"Your kind." Jacob growled. "Your kind lies. You're lying to protect him." A concurrent rumble passed through the pack the same moment someone stepped through the trees behind me. I didn't have to turn to see that it was him.

Jacob held a hand up and the crowd of furry masses quieted. They were waiting for his signal to attack. Sam nodded his assent.

Jacob's focus was just over my shoulder, narrowing each step I heard Edward take closer. A moment later the rustle of everyone else arriving could be heard.

I felt Jaspers power working on keeping the whole party calm. It didn't feel the same as it used to. More like a tingly blanket that didn't touch me rather than a feeling being forced on me.

"It's true." Carlisle stepped forward, hands in front of him as he approached Sam, the alpha. Sam didn't smile but his posture visibly relaxed. "The vampire was taken care of at the scene of the attack by my sons. As you can see we were too late to save Bella from this fate but we did save her life."

"Life. Ha." Jacob muttered under his breath, though everyone heard.

Sam shot him a strong look and turned back to Carlisle. "How can we know that you didn't do it yourself?"

Carlisle let out a small laugh. "You're going to have to trust us, as your ancestors did. If not us, then you can trust our eyes. They, unlike my kind, can not lie."

"Very well—" Sam said with finality.

"SAM!!" Jacob roared, outraged.

"IT IS DONE." Sam proclaimed. "Unless you wanted to amend the chain of command."

Jacob had nothing to say to this. He dashed through the trees the other side of the clearing and many pack members raced after him. The others only lingered long enough for Sam to tell us they would be watching and then they left too.

"Bella--" Edward started. His voice was low and menacing. I didn't turn around at the sound. "Bella, can I speak with you… alone please?" His tone made it sound less like a question and more like an unfinished threat.

Now that immediate danger had passed the intense burning at the back of my throat flared again. "Edward, I don't think that—," he appeared at my elbow and started tugging me toward the woods by my wrist.

The pain in my throat smouldered until it reached my stomach and I wrapped my free arm around myself and crumpled to the ground. The cramps were unbearable, so much so, my vision became blurry.

"BELLA!! I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you." A pair of pitch black eyes appeared before me.

"It-it's not…" I gasped at a particularly vicious one. "It's not you. My stomach…"

Realization dawned on his face and his worry faded into resolve. He helped me to my feet, taking my hand this time, with a new sense of urgency. "We'll have to do something about that." He smiled a heart breaking crooked grin.

We all turn to the loud sounds of a figure barrelling straight towards us. Emmett stepped into the clearing, his eyes raking over all of us. "What did I miss?"

Edward.

After the dogs left I stared at the back of Bella's head. I told her to stay away, stay safe. What's more, I told Emmett to keep her there. Why did she deliberately do the opposite? Why did she have to be able to run so fast? Why did she have smell so good?

"Bella…" I called, allowing my anger to seep in my voice. I was angry for all the wrong reasons but that didn't stop me from being it. She didn't turn when I called or show any signs that she would. "Bella, can I speak with you… alone please?" I was already moving forward and grabbed her wrist with more vigour than I intended.

"Edward, I don't think that—" she protested. We had only moved a few yards when she fell to the ground clutching at her side.

I started to panic. Had I hurt her arm? Was she faint? "BELLA!!" I fell to my knees beside her. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She stuttered out that it was her stomach and not my actions that hurt her. She was hungry. My lips curled up at the thought of her hunting. I pulled her to her feet, trying to be gentler. I was still angry at her but there were more pressing matters to attend to.

A distant rustling could be heard in the woods and she unconsciously leaned into my body. She fit so perfectly under my arm with her hand held in mine. She wasn't as soft as she used to be but she was still my Bella. What more could I really ask for?

_Not my fault. She booked it before I could stop her. Did you see how fast she was?_

Emmett appeared through the trees and saw that everyone was okay. He took note that Bella looked more than comfortable against my body and thought back to a conversation they had in the car. Her beautiful face flushed from the cold. She was smiling brilliantly in his memory.

_**'I think I'm in love with Edward.'**_

"What did I miss?" he asked. My jaw dropped at the revelation. Emmett started, realizing his mistake.

_I did not just think that out loud._ He saw my expression and sighed. _I definitely just thought that out loud._

**I KNOW!! I did it again. a) I promised that it would be confession time three chaps in a row and b) Emmett blows the secret. I really wanted Bella to tell him and then Emmett goes and thinks 'out loud'. I really didn't want it to go that way but now Edward will have to pretend he doesn't know... which might be fun.**

**And the story get to be just a little longer. I hope it isn't feeling dragged out. Tell you what. Next time for sure (you've heard that before.)**

**Review!! I will update fast (super sonic) if you do. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!**


	25. Chapter 24

**You've waited long enough. A/N at the bottom.**

Bella.

_I'm in love with you_. I thought to myself as I wound through the trees, Edward right beside me.

_I'm in love with you_. It was only five words, stuck in my mouth and it felt like they were never going to come out. Maybe he felt the same way. He did kiss me in the hall but I was crazy with blood lust at the time.

He was doing it for himself and the family, to avoid exposure. There was no other option.

Edward didn't want me forever. He didn't want me to be a vampire.

"Wait," he said, startling me out of my reverie by placing a light hand on my wrist. "Do you hear that?"

I stopped thinking about his light touch and let my other senses take over. There was a series of heartbeats in a meadow not far away. "Deer?" I asked, trying to identify them by the steady even sound.

He smiled wickedly, exposing the better part of his teeth. "Yes," he said, seemingly unsurprised that I had gotten it right. I could practically see the herd in my minds eye, grazing in the small open space; a stream bubbling close by. "About twenty of them, only one buck."

I nodded my head and stared hungrily in the direction I would be headed. My eyes narrowed on the most direct path and my vision seemed to tunnel. I could see my objective and everything between us, all at the same time.

Edward squeezed my hand to reassure me. I had almost forgotten he was there. "You're instincts are going to take over, are you ready for this?"

I laughed a scary uncharacteristic laugh. The noise didn't sound like mine but it was. Clearing my throat of the awful taste it left in my mouth, I playfully replied, "Race you for the buck." I took off, not bothering to wait for an answer. I felt Edward's eyes on me while I dashed towards my first meal… as a vampire.

Edward.

She was beautiful. She was a goddess.

I watched as she dashed away from me toward the herd of deer in a meadow not far away. I'm not sure how she knew what they were. _I _only knew what they were having heard their sound many times before. It was unusual for her to be so sure in her answer. Amazing.

It was amazing how comfortable she was with… everything.

I followed in her wake, allowing instinct to mostly take over but never would I allow myself to be completely animal in Bella's presence. There's no telling what could happen.

Though what if she did feel for me the way Emmett had thought.

_Impossible_.

Even if she had feelings for me before, things were… different now. There is no way she could possibly feel the same after I failed her so completely.

We broke into the meadow silently; Bella only a few paces ahead of me. She honed in on her prey and attacked with grace and precision. I watched her with a morbid fascination as the remaining doe stampeded and panicked in erratic leaps and bounds around me.

I ignored them.

She grasped onto the neck of the large buck and snapped it. I could sense her feral hunger in the air around me. The first feed was the best and the worst of our existence. She gulped the blood fast and greedily, kneeling down with the weight of her kill. Then she stilled.

"Bella?" I whispered across the clearing. She didn't move or turn to the sound of my voice.

"Bella." I called a little louder.

With her back still turned to me she lifted her hand to her mouth and pulled it across. Her shoulder started to shake and I could hear her quiet sobs. I moved as quickly and swiftly as my feet would allow, to be next to her but she was too fast for me.

"Don't touch me," she hissed.

"Bella, that was… remarkable."

"It didn't feel remarkable," she sighed and started to walk away from me.

"Wait—" I tried to stop her. "Don't go just…stay. We need to talk."

She continued to walk away from me and turned when she reached the tree line. When she met my eyes, my heart broke at what I could see in the deep red pools. Pain, sorrow… longing. "I can't stay here."

I jogged to her side, unable to resist touching her any longer. I brushed my hand against hers lightly, her lips hinted at a smile before she grasped my hand in hers. She threw one last look at the dead beast and then turned away, thankfully taking me with her.

Bella.

_That was wrong_. I can't believe the sick pleasure I got from a living creature dying by my hand.

This can't have been how Edward and the rest of my family felt when they took a life. It just can't. "Edward?"

"Yes?" he asked, sounding relieved that I broke the silence first.

"I think something went wrong. There's something wrong with me." Edward stopped me and forced me to meet his eye. His finger rested under my chin and he wouldn't allow me to turn away.

"Don't ever say or think that something's wrong with you," he ordered sternly. "You are perfect and I won't allow you to think otherwise."

If I had been human I would surely be blushing from his words. Not just _what_ he was saying but the passion with which he said his words.

"But there was something about killing that animal that… it just didn't feel right."

"There's nothing right about taking a life, Bella. I would be worried if you didn't feel something?" I tried to look away from him but he kept my chin in his stony grasp. "It's the natural order of things. You need them to survive and they will survive in turn. You're not going to enjoy doing it." _But I did_... _enjoy it_.

He moved his hand up and stroked my cheek. "You're… you're perfect in everyway."

"Do you mean that?" I asked, startled by his sincerity. I had become so attuned to him over the years, yet I had never before seen his eyes smoulder as they did then. If my heart still beat, it would have beat harder for him. His hand lingered on my cheek and I leaned my face into it. I smiled as he cradled my head with his palm.

We both stayed silent, staring at each other. He appeared to be having an internal battle with himself.

"Edward…?" I felt myself moving closer to him. I wrapped my fingers around the hand on my cheek. His look was at first, one of surprise and then of question. He placed one hand hesitantly on my side and pulled me close enough to him that our chests were rising and falling next to each other.

My free hand grabbed harshly at his shoulder and before I knew what I was doing I had my mouth against his. He was taken aback at first but then held me against him, one hand behind my back and the other on my neck.

Edward was kissing me back.

His sweet scent filled my head; leaving a pleasant tingle everywhere it reached. His addicting taste filled my mouth as our tongues tangled for dominance. I felt myself moving through the air and my back crash into a foreign obstacle, pinning me between him and it. His sinful lips never left mine for an instant.

I no longer needed to support my weight on his shoulder and ran both hands through his hair; unable to pull his face close enough to mine. His hands followed up and down the length of my body, kneading my sides as he went.

After his aggressive massaging, he pinned my head with both his forearms on either side, all my hair gathered in his fists.

A growl sounded in his chest and resonated in mine.

"Bella," he growled into my open mouth. I whimpered at the rumbling sensation of his voice. "My Bella."

Edward.

_She kissed me. She was kissing ME_. I may have pinned her against the tree and moved my hands as gentlemanly as I could (showing much restraint) over her body but _she_ was kissing _me_.

Bella's head of hair felt magnificent in my hands as I had her head pinned between my arms. Her hair fell in a messy halo between my finger, around her cheeks and down her neck.

_My Bella_. The words felt so familiar, so right, I couldn't help but growl them possessively in her mouth. She let out a small gasp and I took the opportunity to bite down on her bottom lip. She hissed with pleasure and her eyes rolled back in her head.

Both our breathing was heavy and erratic. I rested my face in the crook of her neck, leaving her pinned against the tree. I closed my eye as I tried to accustom myself to her new scent.

As head fell back I started moving my lips against her neck. Her breathing didn't even out so I sucked harder, earning myself another gasp.

I chuckled against the sensitive skin and watched her eyes snap open. She seemed to only _just_ realize where she was and what she was doing.

After unwrapping her legs from around my waist, I set her down gently. I felt bad for not having been more gentle with her during… our exchange.

Bella raised a hand to her mouth and then giggled. Her laugh held the same familiar tinkling it always did. I wished desperately that a blush would colour her cheeks above her fingers but it never came.

"I have something I should probably tell you," I laughed right along with her; exhilarated with the memory of every touch we had just shared.

"Me too," she sighed, leaning up against the tree. I hadn't released her waist yet and wasn't going to, so she pulled me along with her. I steadied myself against the tree with my other hand; hovering over her glowing form. "But you go first."

Her right hand rested gently on the arm that was attached to her hip. It made me lighter just thinking about her needing to touch me as mush as I did her.

"Okay," I sighed, her hair moving under my heavy breath and her eyes watching me hungrily. They already started to turn amber in the corners. I couldn't wait for the day when I wouldn't be able to find a trace of the red in them.

"Well, there's this girl…"

"A girl?" she asked, smiling coyly.

"More like a goddess actually. I've know her, her entire life and it feels like my entire life too. I've loved her always…" My hand moved of its own accord to her beautiful face. "And it's come to my attention that somewhere along the line I fell desperately _in_ love with her… with you."

Her body arched away from the tree, into mine. "Well, I should probably tell you…"

"Yes?" I said, quirking my eyebrow. Her hand found its way to my face as she pulled closer.

"That there's this guy—"

"A guy?" I interrupted.

"Well… you. I've fallen madly…" her lips brushed mine like a whisper, "hopelessly…" a memory almost, "irrevocably in love with you."

There was no space in between our bodies as she moulded herself to me. Both of us were smiling at the other and in her eyes I could see it. The love I felt for her reflecting back at me.

The only thing I said before our lips met again, "I know."

**I'm really **_**REALLY**_** sorry. Sadly this story has wound down. I will post an epilogue (soon) but good news: there will be a sequel!!**

**Summary: Bella worries she's losing herself to an animal inside her she has no control over. It doesn't help that new and conflicting abilities, keep surfacing leaving her even more lost and confused. Can Edward help her find herself again… before it's too late?**

**What you think? **

**It won't happen for a little while because I have two stories on the go right now. If you haven't checked it out **_**Must be Mistaken **_**and **_**I'm Your*s. **_**Check them out**_**.**_

**Please review and tell me what you thought of the chapter!!**


	26. Epilogue

**Epilogue.**

Bella.

That day we told each other how we felt, Edward and I walked into the house hand in hand. Everyone was so happy for us. Happy were had finally stopped lying to ourselves and to each other. I felt Edward's ecstasy as if it was a string I could just tug on and keep more to myself even though I had a never ending supply of my own.

We laughed and talked for days on end. Even though I had known him for all my life, there was never a shortage of things we could learn about the other. All the things I learned made me love him even more. I couldn't get enough of the god beside me who said he loved me or tell him often enough I loved him back. I couldn't get enough of the light he shed on my life.

As our relationship grew stronger, we explored each others bodies with our hands and mouths. There was never more than a moment his skin was not on mine and a warm pleasant tingle would spread through my entire being.

Though he would never let it get too far, showing far more restraint than I would have liked. Edward claimed that I would have to wait until he had proposed, I had accepted and we were married before we could get to _that_ phase of our relationship.

When I told him I didn't need all that he claimed that I might not have but he did. I couldn't help but think it was my virtue he was worried about, not his.

But there was something else. Something lurking and it was dark and it was all mine. As soon as Edward left my side that first time to go hunting and every time he left my side after that I could feel it fester and grow. A force that pushed me to see things; sick things.

I didn't sleep because of what I was now, but I had waking dreams. I dreamt of blood and death and some part of me like it. That part deep down inside me, the dark one… it scared me. It made me feel helpless and alone.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked from behind, startling me. I hadn't heard him come into the room we shared before the bed dipped down with his weight. He must've just gotten back.

Moving my hair away from my neck, he placed a kiss there and a trail of kisses up to my ear. I smiled and tilted my head away from him so I could turn over. And just like that, just by him being there, all the darkness surrounding me abated.

"Nothing," I lied and wrapped my legs around his waist. He placed a hand the other side of me so he could hover there. We stared into each others eyes for an immeasurable moment and didn't say anything. We didn't need to. I arched my back off the mattress to kiss him once. "I missed you."

"I was only gone a couple hours," he laughed against my lips.

I kissed him again and pulled his hips down to meet mine with the legs wrapped around his waist. "A couple hours is too long."

"I missed you, too," he breathed. We stayed like that for a while as he searched my face. "You're sure everything is alright?" he asked in that worried way only someone who loves you can ask.

I pressed my lips against his with fevor, not giving him the chance to push his questions on me further. I would be fine. I had to be fine—for him.

When the darkness was gone it was easy to believe in happily ever after and mine was going to last… I was sure of it.

**Fin.**

***Okay so that was kinda lame but you will eventually get a sequel which is as good as an epilogue any day. Sorry it took so long. **_**Must be Mistaken**_** has monopolized my time. If you haven't, PLEASE read it and I also have an entry in the Epic T Contest called **_**Rendezvous in the Park**_**. Check it out.**

**Thanks for all your support through out the entire story. You guys have been great and helped me improve my writing SO much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I wish I could thank all of you but that would be a really long list. **_**mo, ishkabibble, -Cinderella-Princess**_**-, and **_**Nat**_** all deserve *cyberhugz* for being there from the beginning. Love you guys.**

**SNEEK PEEK!!**

_Do I ever have a story to tell you? I want to put it into words but I'm not sure if you'll actually believe me. Why should you? I am in fact, a vampire. If you believe that then you are off to a better start then most people. I've known about vampires my entire life but what you know—what ever you think you know… I'm going to set it straight._

_I'm Bella: a wife, a sister, a vampire… and maybe a little crazy. And this is my story…_

**EXCITED?! Gonna put the Jacob POV up for the grocery store tomorrow. REVIEW!!**


	27. JPOV Outtake

**AND for those of you who missed in Jakes POV in the grocery store.**

**JPOV**

_Cumin. Cumin. Cumin._ How do you even spell that? _Is it kumin with a K? _

Jacob was getting frustrated with shopping in the only respectable sized grocery story within an hour of La Push. Sometimes the 'foodstuffs' offered at the convenience store on the reservation didn't cut it.

_What the hell is cumin and why does Dad even want it?_

A sickly sweet smell hit his nostrils causing them to flare and the hair on the back of his neck to stand attention. He recognized the smell and his animal instincts kicked in. His main objective was to figure out how best to get the demon out of the crowded store without calling attention to himself.

Remembering how much it took to take the last one down, it seemed unlikely.

He caught a glimpse of wavy mahogany hair in his peripheral, the creature bypassing his aisle completely. The female moved to fast for him to see her face.

He rushed to the end of the next aisle where he caught sight of it again putting a selection of chocolate bars in her basket. Her back was to him but considering what she was, he cared little of what she looked like. The only thing he was sure of was that she was the enemy, as he was hers.

"100 calories a bag. Score." She yelped and jumped a small circle with a smile on her face. Her hair bounced on her shoulders with the gesture. He didn't miss it this time. She had the face of an angel. A soft chin and piercing chocolate eyes. There was something almost familiar about her. _She's beautiful_.

He shook his head to clear the thought. Surely the same notion went through her preys head before she ripped their throats out.

_What on earth was bloodsucking fiend counting calorie for?_

As he pondered his own question, the strange girl danced around the next corner and out of sight. Instead of walking the length of the store he went the same direction as her. Coming down the spice aisle where he had first noticed her, he noticed as she bit back a laugh next to the flour and found himself desperately wanting in on the joke.

An impulse buy rack in front of him caught his eye. CUMIN. He reached out and snatched a package before hiding behind the rack as she passed.

A draft caught up her hair blowing that same sweet stench in his face. This time he also smelt a hint of strawberry. She seemed to be in her own little world as she walked through the store like a cute little space cadet.

_I thought vamps had a great sense of smell. Should she not be attacking me by now_?

He sprinted to the opposite end of the building to cut her off in the cereal section. Thinking that maybe he should call for back up, he quickly dismissed the idea. Jacob had a feeling that Sam, the alpha, wouldn't appreciate the trail his thoughts were taking around the girl.

There was no use worrying about it just then because he stopped short in front of her thinking she would see him... she didn't. He barely wavered as her soft body hit his. She, on the other hand, nearly fell over.

_Aren't vampires supposed to be hard, cold, and...graceful_?

She made a small 'oof' sound and he reached out to catch her before she hit the ground. Her red face tilted up talking in the sheer size of his body and she whispered a small thank you.

Under his fingers he could feel the heat of her skin and the steady pulse pushing the blood through her very much alive body. From his angle he could see the rise and fall of her chest.

"You smell..." he scrunched up his nose trying to think of something less offensive then what almost escaped his lips, "off." Her heartbeat quickened under his touch.

_Not vampire_. His heightened senses calmed themselves.

She looked back at him confused. He wasn't sure, though fairly certain that strange men weren't suppose to say things like that. But he was on a roll so he blundered on.

"And you're warm." He didn't let go of her arm but momentarily worried it might bruise from catching her. She snatched it away from him.

"Well aren't you observant." Her pleasant voice quipped. He could listen to her condescend him all-day if it meant he could listen to its musical sound. Her chin jutted out in protest and he couldn't help but smile at the mannerism.

_She's feisty_. He liked that in a woman.

_Liked?_

He did like her. Now that he knew what she wasn't, he felt no shame. The only thing he felt was grateful that she somehow managed to escape the clutches of the cold ones.

"...and hot yourself."

_She thinks I'm_... She was rubbing her arm he had just held. _Oh right_. His thoughts were dashed when he considered his 108 permafever and how it must of felt against her skin. "Well I do have that effect on the ladies." He flipped his long raven hair over his shoulder dramatically

"That's nice for you." She rolled her eyes and brushed past him.

_No_. He desperately wanted the brown eyed beauty to stay. What if she needed rescuing from the bloodsuckers she already managed to evade once?

"Wait!" He practically screamed, drawing the attention of the other patrons nearby. He took a few strides closer before she could disappear again. She spun around, startled.

"I'm Jacob. Jacob Black." _Good job, genius. May as well call yourself '007'_.

He suppressed a chuckle watching her juggle the overflowing basket to free the appropriate hand.

"Marie." Her eyes caught him off guard again. _Marie? So doesn't suit her_.

She left him in such a trance he didn't almost didn't notice her retreating away shyly. "Hope I _bump_ into you again--Marie."

Laughing, she turned away fully and waved her fingers over her shoulder. His Dad came around the corner and rolled past her. He came to a stop a few feet short of Jacob while his dark skin visibly paled.

"Dad, what's wrong?"

The old man spun fast and called out a name, "Isabella."

The name triggering Jacob's happiest memory...

xXx

'Bella!! Bella!' I called after her running down the rocky beach. I found  
a perfect black stone amongst the grey ones.

She spun around at the sound of my voice. She was a little taller than  
me but never made me feel bad because I was younger than her like my  
sister and most her friends. She was usually content to just walk up and  
down the beach with me while her dad and mine fished.

'I found you something.' She smiled brightly at the news. 'Close your  
eyes and hold out your hands.'

She did as I asked. Her eyelashes were so long they brushed the top  
of her cheeks. She was unbelievably pretty,

'Jacob?' she asked her eyes still closed as she waited patiently.

I placed the black stone in her open palms. She opened her eyes and  
looked at the unique stone.

'Aww...Jake.' She looked genuinely pleased. Her young, round face smiling  
widely. 'I have something for you too, close your eyes.' She looked over  
her shoulder to check the coast was clear.

'I said close your eyes. No peeking.'

A moment later I felt her warm lips on my cheek. I couldn't help the blush  
that crept up my neck.

'Thank you,' she whispered in my ear.

xXx

"Bella," he whispered under his breath. "My Bella?"

The young woman had long since dashed away by the time he'd come around. From his father's wild gesturing, Jacob had no doubt that this girl was one in the same. He fingered the black stone around his neck as he took off breakneck speed out the automatic doors.

His breath rose from his mouth in the frosty January air as he looked back and forth frantically.

She was gone.

**And that is that.... till' the sequel. Gotta finish some other stories first. :) I'll let you know when that happens. Leave me the love that is reviews.**


End file.
